| Title: The Battle Hymn of the Fellowship The Ballad of Frodo Baggins On Top of Caradhras The Ranger O the Mithril The Fellowship Gandalf Tolkien's Land Elven Girl Barbaric Eowyn Whitesleeves Close Encounters with Farmer Maggot Boromir Really Blows It Flotsam, Jetsam Dandy Bill the Pony Song for a Cute Fuzzy Moth Small Ring of Gold Boromir Floating Forever My Horn Has Broken Bor-bor-bor-bor Boromir |
To the Tune of: The Battle Hymn of the Republic The Ballad of Davy Crockett On Top of Old Smokey The Gambler Clementine The Brady Bunch Theme Flipper Theme Gilligan's Island Theme Uptown Girl Barbara Allen Greensleeves Dixie I've Been Working on the Railroad Frere Jacques Yankee Doodle Dandy A Mighty Fortress is our God Silver and Gold Strawberry Fields Forever Morning has Broken Barbara-Ann |
Mine eyes have seen the line-ups outside ev'ry theat'r door,
The people jostle, shove and push, elbowing up the floor,
To grab the very middle seats, that's what it is all for,
And they won't be polite no more.
Chorus:
Horrors, horrors - what's it to ya?
Not the ending - did it fool ya?
All the newbies want to sue ya -
Tho' you told them it was only part one.
Mine eyes have seen the grandeur of the screen upon their face,
They gape and gawp anew at every awesome kiwi place,
Then reeling at the wonder, they disappear without a trace -
Swept away by that movie they adore.
(Chorus)
Mine eyes have seen the horror of the ending of the show,
There are people staring at the screen - they still don't want to go,
They have to wait another year for TTT, you know,
And they don't wanna wait no more.
(Chorus)
Sung to the tune of Davy Crockett
Frodoooo, Frodo Baggins, Ringbearer of the Shire.
Born in the Shire to the west of Bree,
Greenest place in the land of the free
Raised in the woods, so's he know ev'ry tree
Swiped him a 'shroom when he was only three
Frodoooo, Frodo Baggins, Ringbearer of the Shire.
Innocent and cheerful down to his core
Till Uncle Bilbo left him that Ring fer shore
While he was handling this risky chore
Made himself a legend forevermore
Frodoooo, Frodo Baggins, Ringbearer of the Shire
Went off to Rivendell and served a spell
Fixing up the Council and elves as well
Took, Gamgee, Brandybuck, so I hear tell
They went with him, and some others as well
Frodoooo, Frodo Baggins, Ringbearer of the Shire.
He give his word and he give his hand
That Ring he would carry right out o' the land
The rest of his like he took the stand
That justice was due every hobbit and man
Frodoooo, Frodo Baggins, Ringbearer of the Shire.
When he came to Doom, his travelin' past
The Western Alliance was bein' trashed
But he picked up his feet and the Ring he flashed
He lit out grinnin' to follow the ash
Frodoooo, Frodo Baggins, Ringbearer of the Shire.
Had a hard time up on that ashy hill
Sam and Gollum both were a-followin' still
He couldn't quite do it, the Ring to kill
Got his finger bit off - kinda makes you ill
Frodoooo, Frodo Baggins, Ringbearer of the Shire.
He heard of the fading and the elves and so
Back to the Havens he just had to go
Fightin' for his peace was a difficult row
So, resting at last, he leaned across the bow.
Frodoooo, Frodo Baggins, Ringbearer of the Shire.
On top of Caradhras
All covered with snow,
I've lost all the feeling
In my feet, heel to toe.
The snow is so icy,
My cheeks turning red;
And I can't help wishing
That shield was a sled.
That Man has my Ring, now -
(Hey, that's not in the book!)
He finally returned it -
But seemed kind of shook.
Fell asleep in a snowdrift,
But got lifted out fast,
They say if I stayed there,
Then I wouldn't last.
We want some more fire,
I can't feel my toes,
But Gandalf objected:
"I can't burn the snow!"
So now we're all buried
In snow past our ears,
Gandalf has warmed us
With strange Rivendell beer.
On top of Caradhras
Our elf walks on snow
If we could all do that
We would be on the go!
The drifts were so high, dear,
Great, white, man-high stacks,
So they had to plow out,
Carryin' us on their backs.
So: If you go trav'ling,
With Gandalf & Co.s
Bring a portable heater,
And socks for your toes!
On a cold autumn's evening at an Inn with a Pony
I met up with a Ranger, we were both too tired to sleep,
So we took turns a-starin' past the fire at the darkness
Til worry overtook us and he began to speak.
He said,"Son,I've made a life out of reading people's traces
Knowing what their allegiance is by the glowing of their eyes,
And if you don't mind me saying, I see you would trade places
With almost any hobbit - so I'll give you some advice."
He handed me a broken sword, and explained away my fright,
Then he curled up in his cloak against the chilly night,
And the room got deathly quiet and his face lost all expression
Said, "If you're gonna have that Ring ,boy, you got to learn to use it right.
Chorus:
You gotta know when to grab 'em, know when to stab 'em
Know when to walk away, and know when to run.
You never count on hiding while you're runnin' from a Nazgul,
There'll be time enough for resting when the Ring is gone.
Now every Ranger knows that the secret to survival
Is knowing who to throw away and knowing what to keep.
You need me - I'm a winner, just like that Ring's a loser,
I'm the best that you can hope for now if that "trinket" you will keep.
When he finally finished speaking, I turned back toward the fire,
Fluffed up my blanket-roll and drifted off to sleep,
But somewhere in the darkness the Ranger he kept watch now,
In his final words I found some hope that I could keep.
In a cavern, in a canyon,
Excavating for a mine
Dwelt the many sons of Durin
Seeking mithril o so fine.
Chorus:
O the mithril, O the mithril
O the mithril from the mine!
It is lost and gone forever:
Dwarven star no more to shine.
Lovely Moria, with that metal
Light yet hard as dragon scale -
Too deep, the dwarves they delved there:
What they woke made hearts to fail.
(Chorus)
Great the battles that travailed them,
Hard the beating, how they shook!
Finally fell the sons of Durin -
Back its own the Darkness took
(Chorus)
Hardy Balin tried to claim it
Desire of dwarves, that silver shine -
He was valiant, but he fell there,
Only Dark now keeps that mine.
(Chorus)
Mourn for Moria, mourn for mithril,
Son of Gloin, o grieving bow,
For the treasure of your people
Surely gone forever now.
(Chorus)
Here's the story of a kind, grey wizard
Who four other travellers did assort,
One of them had hair of gold, two had swords and
The dwarf was kind of short.
Here's the story, of a hobbit: Frodo,
Who was busy with three friends of his own,
They were four hobbits all together,
Yet they were all alone.
Till the one day when the wizard met this fellow
And they knew during this Ring-destroying trip
That this group would somehow form a family:
That's the way they all became the Fellowship.
The Fellowship,
The Fellowship,
That's the way they all became the Fellowship!
They call him Gandalf, Gandalf,
Brighter than lightning,
No-one you see, is smarter than he.
And we know Gandalf,
He makes our eyes full of wonder,
Flashing his fireworks over the trees.
Everyone loves this wizard, you see,
Ever so kind and gentle is he,
Tricks he will do when children appear,
And how they laugh when he's near!
They call him Gandalf, Gandalf,
Brighter than lightning,
No-one you see, is smarter than he,
And we know Gandalf,
He makes our eyes full of wonder,
Twinkling and smiling, wise friend is he.
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip
That started out from Rivendell,
Full of pep and zip,
The men were mighty kingly men,
The hobbits brave and sure.
Nine travelers set out that day
For a three volume tour, a three volume tour.
The fighting started getting rough,
The tiny group was tossed,
If not for the courage of that fearless crew
The Ring it would be lost, the Ring it would be lost!
They made their way across the maps of Middle Earthen lands
With Aragooorrrn,
And Gandalf too,
The Merry one and his Pip,
The Elven stahhrr,
The dwarf, that man, Frodo and Sam,
There in Tolkien's Laaaand.
So this is the tale of the Fellowship,
They're there for a long, long time,
They have to make the best of things,
It's an uphill climb.
For Aragorn and Gandalf too,
They do their very best,
To make the others understand
Puts their patience to the test.
No hat, no pipe, no handkerchief,
Not a single luxury.
Like fighting any battle,
It's horrible as can be.
So join us there each day my friends,
They're sure to take their stand,
Those nine struggling travelers,
There in Tolkien's Laaaand!
Elven girl -
She's been living in her Elven world,
And she rarely met a mortal guy;
I bet Elrond never told her why.
I'm gonna fight for my elven girl.
She's been waiting in Lothlorien land
As long as anyone with her heart can,
And now she's looking for a mortal man:
That's what I am.
For now she knows what
She wants from her ti-yi-yi-yime,
For when she woke up,
She made up her mi-yi-yind.
She sees I'm quite a catch
Just because
I'm in love with an elven girl
You know I've seen her in her gold-leaf world:
She's getting tired of her ancient ways
And the routine of long graceful days.
She's got a choice.
Elven girl -
You know I can't afford to buy her pearls -
But I will later when my ship comes in.
She understands what kind of guy I've been,
And that I'll win.
And when she's riding,
She's looking so fi-yi-yi-yine,
And when she's talking
She says that she's mi-yi-yine!
Elven girl -
She's my elven girl.
You know I'm in love
With an elven girl.
In Edoras where she was born,
There was a shield maid dwellin'
Made every man cry "well-a-way,"
Her name was bright-haired Eowyn.
All in the sorrowful month of March
When the battle's ranks were swellin'
She pined away, her soul was parched:
For that kingly man cried Eowyn.
"O dinna ye go, Aragorn," said she,
"To the perilous path ye are thinkin',
You'll lead them all unto their death -
And leave your fair-haired Eowyn!"
But he's turned his path to mountain's door,
And the Dead were with him dealin'
"Adieu, adieu, my dear friends all,
And be kind to lonely Eowyn."
O slowly, slowly rose she up,
To the place where he'd been lyin'
And when she drew the curtain by,
The men thought she was dyin'.
"O 'tis I'm sick, and very, very sick,
And 'tis a' for Aragorn willin' -
O held by for me, he's ne'er to be,
Tho' my heart's blood were spillin'
Then slowly, slowly rose she up
For her Aragorn had left them -
And sighing said she could not stay
Dince death of life had reft him.
She'd turned and gone a mile and two:
She heard the battle callin'
And every step to dark field she made
Cried "Woe to barbaric Eowyn!"
O kindred of Rohan, prepare my grave -
O make it cold and narrow!
Since my love died for me today,
I'll die for him tomorrow."
In Edoras where she was born,
There was a shield maid dwellin'
Made every man cry "well-a-way..."
Farewell, poor barbaric Eowyn.
Ah, Saruman, you do me wrong,
To cast me off discourteously.
For I have honored you well and long,
Delighted in your company.
Chorus:
Whitesleeves were once my joy,
Whitesleeves were my delight,
Whitesleeves, my friend of old,
Who was like Saruman the White?
Your faith you've broken, and your voice -
Oh why did it so enrapture me?
Now I am free in the world apart,
I will not remain in captivity.
(chorus)
I had been ready at your hand,
To aid whatever you would crave,
I once had wagered life and limb,
Your favor and good-will to have.
(chorus)
For you intended to disarm,
And what is more, to capture me,
And so the Shire I could not warn -
A wizard in captivity.
(chorus)
For many years, clothed all in grey,
I used to ever wait on thee.
Now I'm against you in this fray,
For thou wouldst not release me.
(chorus)
Thy desire was for this darksome Ring,
Thou thought to have it readily,
Thy musical voice seemed without sting
And yet thou couldst not sway me.
(chorus)
Ah, Saruman, now farewell, adieu,
E'en though you tried to hold me,
For I was once thy servant, true -
But ne'er again will trust thee.
(chorus)
Oh, once in the fields of a farmer hobbit,
Frodo, he knew how to rob it -
Just a lad, but he had,
Quite a taste for that treat!
Chorus:
He's hungry for some mushrooms,
He was! He was!
And Farmer Maggot had the best,
The finest 'shrooms in Shirelands.
Away, away,
He needs to run much faster!
Away, away,
Run away! Here he comes!
Oh that Maggot knew how to make him stop,
Caught young Frodo with his crop -
Told his dogs, they could eat,
Baggins up - every drop!
Years later, grown Frodo did quake and shake,
For Pip had them Maggot's wat to take.
Run away! Here he comes,
With his dogs! How they bark!
Oh, he wished he were safe with Farmer Cotton,
Farmer Maggot's not forgotton.
Run away! Run away!
Here he comes with his dogs!
But Maggot, he runs a fine old farm,
Took them in and kept them warm.
Wagon ride, by his side,
And at need -- quite a friend. to take.
Run away! Here he comes,
With his dogs! How they bark!
Oh, he wished he were safe with Farmer Cotton,
Farmer Maggot's not forgotton.
Run away! Run away!
Here he comes with his dogs!
But Maggot, he runs a fine old farm,
Took them in and kept them warm.
Wagon ride, by his side,
And at need -- quite a friend.
I've been traveling from Gondor
Back and forth all year,
I've been trying to make sense of
What I see and hear -
Can't stop thinking 'bout the halfling,
He who forth did stand.
Thinking that it would be useful
To have that golden band
Think I'm gonna blow
Yes, I'm gonna blow
I'm a-gonna blow our chances!
Oh no, here I go -
Reaching for his throat,
I think it should've been mine!
You know I don't usually do this -
Attacking someone half my size!
In spite of that, he got away from me,
With that golden prize.
I've been wond'ring where he went, now,
As with the little ones I stand,
Got to try to hold these orcs off -
This is getting out of hand!
I may need to blow,
Yes, I need to blow,
I'm a gonna blow my ho-o-orn!
I'm a gonna blow,
I'm a gonna blow,
I'm a gonna blow my horn!
Someone come and help us,
I've blown it!
Someone come and help us,
I pra-a-a-ay,
Sorry that I tried to grab it now -
Nothing's gone right today!
Merry, Pippin,
Merry, Pippin,
Here they are
From afar.
Watching Orthanc get treed,
Found a cask of pipeweed,
Very fresh,
Low on tar.
Glad of pipe and
Glad of plate they
Found it rare,
Great to share -
When they were a sore sight,
Found it set the score right
With the dwarf,
Wreathed the air.
Bill the Pony came from Breeland just to help the hobbits,
Saw Sam hit old Ferny with that apple: hard he lobbed it!
Bill the Pony's perking up,
Now he's doing dandy!
Minds the road with gentle steps,
And with the packs is handy.
Bill the Pony went a-walking just to carry supplies,
True and faithful all the way, he even had big, soft eyes.
Bill the Pony keep it up,
You are sweet as candy!
Mind the baggage, watch your step,
And with the packs be handy.
Bill the Pony went a-walking, bouncing like a coney,
Stuck with Samwise all the way, e'en when he was phony.
Bill the Pony keep it up,
Panto-Bill's a dandy!
Climbed the mountain in the snow,
So versatile and handy.
Bill the Pony fled the mines not to be a Warg-snack,
Made it all the way to Bree (they didn't think he'd get back!)
Bill the Pony you did well,
You did great - hooray!
Didn't mind that traveling,
With Sam you get to stay!
O, little moth you are so sweet -
A fuzzy bug, a special treat.
Your little wings they flap n' flutter,
Light as a feather and soft as butter.
We're glad it's not his wish,
In Gandalf's hand, you squish -
Though he had grown thinner,
And badly needed dinner,
He did not choose a meal of moth.
He used you for a twist of plot,
For Saruman, he guessed it not -
That in his tower, both cold and snug,
He'd be outwitted by a bug.
Antennae, soft and fine,
I'd pet if you were mine -
Your fuzzy legs, and head
Saved Gandalf from much dread,
O tiny moth adorable.
Small Ring of Gold
(sung in a melodramatic and sappy style to the tune of Silver and Gold, with apologies to Yukon Cornelius)
Small Ring of gold, small Ring of gold,
Oh how he wishes for this small Ring of gold.
How do you measure its worth?
Just by the power it has o'er Middle Earth!
Small Ring of gold, small Ring of gold
Means so much more when I see,
A small Ring of gold decorating
The hand of Slavery.
(spoken, with feeling)
What's a Dark Lord without this paltry, pretty small Ring of gold decorating his hand?
Can't really call him a Dark Lord now, can you?
And think of all the lustful pride and power-mongering that would be
lost on that black morning if all the free world didn't
get to see that sparkling Ring with its happy Dark Lord.
Small Ring of gold, small Ring of gold
Means so much more when I see,
Small Ring of gold decorating
The hand of Slavery.
My Horn Has Broken
to the tune of “Morning Has Broken”
My horn has broken, oh how that harrows!
Uruk has spoken, like a fat toad.
Echoes are ringing, just like an arrow
Raised up and springing straight from the bow.
Fleet the pain's new fall, poking my body,
Like a fast curve ball, hard as you please.
How airy this strangeness - for I feel oddly,
Sporting a batch of holes like a cheese.
The wind is whistling over my torso,
Has a few more holes now it can play -
Fluting a tune to call those who can sew:
Only pincushion Gondor can claim.
Bor-bor-bor-bor Boromir
to the tune of Barbara Ann, by the Beach Boys
(Bor bor bor bor Boromir)
(Bor bor bor bor Boromir)
(Bor bor bor bor Boromir)
With Boromir
(Bor bor bor bor Boromir)
I have no fear
(Bor bor bor bor Boromir)
Boromir
(Bor bor bor bor Boromir)
You got me talkin’ and a dozin'
Walkin' and relaxin'
Boromir
(Bor bor bor bor Boromir)
I’m just a waif, looked for by a Wraith,
Had Boromir so I thought that I’d be safe.
With Boromir
(Bor bor bor bor Boromir)
I have no fear
(Bor bor bor bor Boromir)
You got me talkin’ and a dozin'
Walkin' and relaxin'
Boromir
(Bor bor bor bor Boromir)
(Bor bor bor bor Boromir)
(Bor bor bor bor Boromir)
(Bor bor bor bor Boromir)
With Boromir
(Bor bor bor bor Boromir)
I have no fear
(Bor bor bor bor Boromir)
Boromir
(Bor bor bor bor Boromir)
You got me talkin’ and a dozin'
Walkin' and relaxin'
Boromir
(Bor bor bor bor Boromir)
Tried hidin’ – ew!
Tried camo, too
Tried Kung Fu
But I knew they wouldn't do
With Boromir
(Bor bor bor bor Boromir)
I have no fear
(Bor bor bor bor Boromir)
You got me talkin’ and a dozin'
Walkin' and relaxin'
Boromir
(Bor bor bor bor Boromir)
You got me talkin’ and a dozin'
Walkin' and relaxin'
Boromir
(Bor bor bor bor Boromir)
