Jingle Orc
Dashing through the snow
In a goblin driven sleigh
Into the mines we go
Chortling all the way
Bells on cave trolls ring
Making Sting turn bright (blue)
What fun it is to ride and sing
On a balrog’s back tonight.
Oh!!!!!!!!!
Jingle Orc, Jingle Orc,
Jingle all the way.
Oh what fun it is to ride
Down a Balrog’s back today. Hey
Jingle Orc, Jingle Orc
Jingle all the way.
Oh what fun it is to ride
Down a Balrog’s back today.
- Agape4Rivendell
The Twelve Days for Denethor
On the first day of Christmas,
my true sons sent to me
A Smeagol in a pear tree.
On the second day of Christmas,
my true sons sent to me
Two white horses,
And a Smeagol in a pear tree.
On the third day of Christmas,
my true sons sent to me
Three Elven beauty,
Two white horses,
And a Smeagol in a pear tree.
On the fourth day of Christmas,
my true sons sent to me
Four calling Dwarves,
Three Elven beauty,
Two white horses,
And a Smeagol in a pear tree.
On the fifth day of Christmas,
my true sons sent to me
Five golden coins,
Four calling Dwarves,
Three Elven beauty,
Two white horses,
And a Smeagol in a pear tree.
On the sixth day of Christmas,
my true sons sent to me
Six Suruman a-laying,
Five golden coins,
Four calling Dwarves,
Three Elven beauty,
Two white horses,
And a Smeagol in a pear tree.
On the seventh day of Christmas,
my true sons sent to me
Seven Sauron a-swimming,
Six Saruman a-laying,
Five golden coins,
Four calling Dwarves,
Three Elven beauty,
Two white horses,
And a Smeagol in a pear tree.
On the eighth day of Christmas,
my true sons sent to me
Eight maids a-cooking,
Seven Sauron a-swimming,
Six Saruman a-laying,
Five golden coins,
Four calling Dwarves,
Three Elven beauty,
Two white horses,
And a Smeagol in a pear tree.
On the ninth day of Christmas,
my true sons sent to me
Nine orcs dancing,
Eight maids a-cooking,
Seven Sauron a-swimming,
Six Saruman a-laying,
Five golden coins,
Four calling Dwarves,
Three Elven beauty,
Two white horses,
And a Smeagol in a pear tree.
On the tenth day of Christmas,
my true sons sent to me
Ten stewards a-leaping,
Nine orcs dancing,
Eight maids a-cooking,
Seven Sauron a-swimming,
Six Saruman a-laying,
Five golden coins,
Four calling Dwarves,
Three Elven beauty
Two white horses,
And a Smeagol in a pear tree.
On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my true sons sent to me
Eleven Hobbits piping,
Ten stewards a-leaping,
Nine orcs dancing,
Eight maids a-cooking,
Seven swans a-swimming,
Six Saruman a-laying,
Five golden coins,
Four calling Dwarves,
Three Elven beauty,
Two white horses,
And a Smeagol in a pear tree.
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my true sons sent to me
Twelve Kings drumming,
Eleven Hobbits piping,
Ten stewards a-leaping,
Nine orcs dancing,
Eight maids a-cooking,
Seven Sauron a-swimming,
Six Saruman a-laying,
Five golden coins,
Four calling Dwarves,
Three Elven beauty,
Two white horses,
And a Smeagol in a pear tree!
- Faramirgirl
In Gondor there are Gentlemen
To the tune of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
(Merry loves that his name is in so many Christmas songs, carols, odes,
things!)
In Gondor there are gentlemen
Arrayed as Knights in glory
In the Shire there are Halflings
Who love a good night story.
In Rohan there are Rohirrim
Who love their horses more – y
And – all come to Crickhollow for a bath, for a bath
And – all come to Crickhollow for a bath.
(‘bout time some would say of a certain Ranger)
In Lothlorien the Elves lay low
They never pass their borders.
In Rivendell Lord Elrond’s folks
Tell tales of Mordor’s
Fell beasts, ringwraiths, and wraiths on wings
All kinds of foul, stinking Lord – ors
And – Galadriel she brings her pitcher full, pitcher full
And – Galadriel she brings her pitcher full.
In the Barrow-downs the barrow wights
Have all conspired to kill us.
And Prince Imrahil of Dol Amroth
Is not above a bit of fuss
He wants the throne, he needs the throne
Though Denethor his name will cuss
And – fire and water do not mix, do not mix
And – fire and water do not mix
So
Eru rest ye merry gentlemen
And all the Elves together
And Hobbits too – must not forget
That through all kinds of weather
Nine nervous Nazgûl do what they can
To make the Dark Lord happy.
Including taking baths with anything nasty, anything nasty.
Including taking baths with anything nasty.
(Left out a character
Or two or three or four – forgive me!
Ents – walking tall - I’ve missed the lot
Oh and Dwarves – I’m very sorry
Beornings, Maier, Wild Men,
Orcs – spiders – Urak-hai –
But I’ll drop down dead before I say anything about that Gollum-y
creature, Gollum-y creature)
Yes, I’ll drop down dead before I say anything about that Gollum.)
- Agape4Rivendell
top
Coneys Roasting On An Open Fire
Sung by Samwise Gamgee
(to the tune of Chestnuts Roasted on an Open Fire)
Coneys roasting on an open fire,
Gollum's hissing at my nose.
What a Stinker, he is only a Liar!
He's "friendly", but that is just a pose.
But till Frodo knows,
Some spices and some Lembas bread
Help to make our days more bright.
That big tower with it's eye all aglow,
We'll find it hard to sleep at night.
We know that Sauron's evil Wraiths
Will make it difficult to go along our way.
And every Orc and Uruk-Hai is gonna try
To see if Hobbits make a tasty juicy pie.
And so, I'm offering this simple phrase --
There's still some good left in the world.
(The stories were told many times, many ways.)
And it's worth fighting for.
(Happy Holidays to You!)
- Maxie
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Boris, the Red-Eyed Wraith Horse
(Rudolph)
Boris the red-eyed wriath-horse (wraith-horse)
Had some creepy glowing eyes (like a balrog)
And if you ever see him (see him)
Say hello and he'll say "Hi." (with molasses)
All of the other wraith-horse (wraith-horse)
Used to snort and shake their manes (ornery grump heads)
They never let poor Boris (Boris)
Bear a wriath on Mordor's plains (ash and dusssty)
Then one dark and scary eve
Sauron came to call (bwa-ha-ha)
He said naught 'cos eyes can't talk
But Witchy got him saddled up
Now all the other wraith-horse (wriath-horse)
Watch him screech away in glee (eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!)
Boris the red-eyed wraith horse (wraith horse)
Unfortunately drowned will be. (like Drogo)
Unfortunately droowwwned will beeeeee.
Merry Christmas and Pippin Holidays! :)
We Three Trolls
(We Three Kings)
We three Trolls of granite are,
Froze place by the brilliant Day Star.
Foiled in fear and grounded here
Immobile is what we are.
Chorus:
O, Burrahobbits in our hair
The morning rays have fixed our stare
Muscles seizing, limbs are freezing
Caught outside our gloomy lair.
We Four Hobbits of the Shire
(We Three Kings)
We four Hobbits of Shire-land
Eat and drink whatever we can
We come and go as we please
But not to Mordor, jeeze!
(whoa-oh-oh!)
I've the One Ring in my hand
Here is Elrond's malformed plan:
I'll drop the Ring in to the fire
'Cause it's his desire!
We four Hobbits of Shire-land
Eat and drink whatever we can
We come and go as we please
But not to Mordor, jeeze!
(whoa-oh-oh!)
I like Elves and their rope
It's all a lad could hope
To see before he disappeared
Into lands most feared
We four Hobbits of Shire-land
Eat and drink whatever we can
We come and go as we please
But not to Mordor, jeeze!
(whoa-oh-oh!)
We have seen the Entish land
And now we're Treebeard's biggest fan
We never told him 'bout our weed
He'd probably get peeved!
Away in a Saddle
(tune: Away in a Manger)
Away in a saddle the brave Samwise rides
Close by to his master, Sam stays by his side
The Nazgul are searching for the Ring eagerly
And if they don't find it, how mad Sauron will be!
Fiery Night
(tune: Silent Night)
Fiery night, fateful night
All is war, all do fight
'Round your neck, a ring hangs there
Shielded by your Hobbity hair
Go in haste to Mordor
Remembered in Hobbiton lore
The Twelve Days Of Lord of the
Rings
(this was written based upon the things we saw and thought about
while waiting for the theater to open up)
On the ___ day of Lord of the Rings, my wizard gave to me:
1) One Ring to throw in Mount Doom
2) Two teenage girls (which were my friend and I)
3) Three Elven rings
4) Four locked doors (of the movie theater)
5) Five employees laughing (inside the movie theater)
6) Six Rangers riding
7) Seven Dwarven rings
8) Eight fogged up windows (from sitting in the car when we were
freezing)
9) Nine Nazgul flying
10) Ten cars a-sitting
11) Eleven Elves a-arching (I know, not the best word, but oh well!)
12) Twelve months of waiting
Oh Denethor (O Christmas
Tree)
Oh Denethor, oh Denethor,
Your fireworks are such a bore.
All you have is burning kings,
They don't even have golden rings,
Oh Denethor, oh Denethor,
Your fireworks are such a bore.
We Three Elves
We three elves of Lorien are,
One in a tree and one on the path.
Silently laying, watching and waiting,
To catch any foe we pass.
O… tree of splendour, tree of light,
Caras Galadhon looks good tonight.
Lord in his chair, lady at mirror,
Following Frodo as he fights.
Lo! Here comes a travelling group.
They ask for help, we give them the boot.
They bow to us lowly, we guard them closely,
Bows loaded and ready to shoot.
O… tree of splendour, tree of light,
Caras Galadhon looks good tonight.
Lord in his chair, lady at mirror,
Following Frodo as he fights.
Lord and lady, dazzling in white,
Greet the strangers, shrouded in white.
He sighs and murmurs, she knows their purpose,
The psychic old bat’s always right.
O… tree of splendour, tree of light,
Caras Galadhon looks good tonight.
Lord in his chair, lady at mirror,
Following Frodo as he fights.
We lead them down to camp until day,
Preparing boats, store lembas away.
Give them their gifts and send them adrift,
Down Anduin on their way.
O… tree of splendour, tree of light,
Caras Galadhon looks good tonight.
Lord in his chair, lady at mirror,
Following Frodo as he fights.
The Christmas Song
LOTR style
Conies roasting on an open fire.
Orcs nipping at your nose.
Orcs chants being sung by a army.
And folks dressed up like elves with bows.
Saruman is Coming
(Santa is Coming to Town)
You better watch out.
You better cry.
You better pout.
I'm telling you why.
Saruman is coming to the Shire.
He's making a list and checking it twice.
Gonna find out if the Shire is nice.
Saruman is coming to town.
Good King
Elessar
(aka Good King Wenceslas)
Good King Elessar looked out
On the feast of Durin
He saw the snow all round about
And no orcs to bash the doors in
Brightly shone the moon that night
Though the frost was cruel
When came into his memory bright
The Hobbit who brought his rule
"If he could now stand by me
It would to me be cheering
If this City he could see
Now after its rebuilding."
"But now he lives oceans away
Or so the elves do maintain
Far west to Vailnor hence
By a crystal fountain."
"Bring me flesh and bring me wine
Bring me pine logs hither
We will to his memory dine
And so recall him further."
Page and monarch, lord and maid
Merry they made together
Despite the rude wind's wild lament
And the bitter weather
"Though the days are brighter now
And the good grows stronger
In my heart, I know not how,
My memory grows longer."
"Mark his footsteps, my good page
Tread thou in them boldly
Thou shalt find the winter's rage
Freeze thy blood less coldly."
In the Hobbit's steps he trod
Where the snow lay dinted
Heat was in the very sod
Which Frodo had printed
Therefore, all free men, be sure
Wealth or rank possessing
Bless the Hobbit who gave his all
And left for a final resting
Oh Little Town of Hobbiton (apologies to all concerned)
Oh little town of Hobbiton, how green I see thee lie
Above thy deep and dreamless sleep the silent stars go by
Yet deep in Mordor shineth two of your brightest lights
The hopes and fears of all the years do rest with them tonight.
For Frodo has the One Ring, and risks all for your love
While Hobbits sleep the Vala keep their watch and see all from above
Oh Varda's stars and Samwise, solace his rocky berth.
Elf and king do his praises sing, he brought peace to Middle Earth
How silently, how painfully, this wondrous gift is given
So Elves impart to Hobbit hearts the blessings of their haven
No orc may hear his coming, the ring he will pitch in
Their pure souls will sustain them still, the dear Hobbit and his
friend.
Oh dear child of Hobbiton, come dwell with us we pray
Cast out your pain, be free again, In Aman with us today
We hear the white gulls crying, of journeys they do tell
O come to us, abide with us, and once again be well.
- Orangeblossom Took
Must Be Gandalf
To the tune of “Must Be Santa”
Who's got a beard that's long and white?
(Gandalf’s got a beard that's long and white)
Who makes fireworks in the night ?
(Gandalf makes fireworks in the night)
Fire at Night, beard that's white
Must be Gandalf Must be Gandalf
Must be Gandalf, Gandalf Grey
Who fears Moria‘s depths with dread?
(Gandalf fears Moria‘s depths with dread.)
Who wears a pointy hat on his head ?
(Gandalf wears a pointy hat on his head)
Hat on head, Moria dread,
Fire at night, beard that's white
Must be Gandalf Must be Gandalf
Must be Gandalf, Gandalf Grey.
Who's got a really grouchy look?
(Gandalf's got a really grouchy look.)
Who calls Pippin “Foolish Took?
(Gandalf calls Pippin “Foolish Took”.)
Foolish Took, Grouchy look
Hat on head, Moria dread,
Fire at night, beard that's white
Must be Gandalf Must be Gandalf
Must be Gandalf, Gandalf Grey.
Who tells the Balrog, “you can’t pass”?
(Gandalf tells the Balrog, “you can’t pass”)
Who falls into a deep crevasse?
(Gandalf falls into a deep crevasse.)
Deep crevasse, You can‘t pass,
Foolish Took, Grouchy look,
Hat on head, Moria dread,
Fire at night, beard that's white,
Must be Gandalf Must be Gandalf
Must be Gandalf, Gandalf Grey.
Boromir, Frodo, Sam, Gimli,
(Arogorn, Legolas, Pip, Merry.)
Fellowship broke, it’s no joke,
Deep crevasse, You can‘t pass,
Foolish Took, Grouchy look,
Hat on head, Moria dread,
Fire at night, beard that's white,
Must be Gandalf Must be Gandalf
Must be Gandalf, Gandalf Grey.
Haldir the
Blonde Haired Elf Lord
To the tune of Rudolph
Haldir the Blonde Haired Elf Lord,
Had a very tight strung bow.
And if you ever see it,
you should keep you head real low.
All of the other Elf Lords,
never laughed or called him names,
'cause they always knew that Haldir,
hit everything at which he aimed.
Then one troubled winter's eve,
the fellowship came to call,
but Haldir with his bow strung tight,
didn't shoot them at first sight.
Then how the Fellowship loved him,
except a dwarf named Gimli,
so Haldir the Blonde Haired Elf Lord,
you'll go down in hisssstorrrry!
- The Foe Hammer
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O Sackville
To 'O Come O Come Immanuel'
O come O come from not-so-far Sackville,
And take the spoon whereever you will,
Lobelia, with family in tow,
Will gripe as in her 'brella now she stows,
The spoons! The gems!
And anything else small,
She's coming now, fair waddling down the hall.
Oh come thou cousins, come right over here,
And see the parcels, tags mixed up we fear...
Angelica, so fair of face,
A mirror here to help you see your grace.
A bin! A pen!
But not a scrap of gold,
Though legends claim there's more, so we are told.
O come two Boffins, Bolger and Proudfoot,
And excavate the pantry to the root,
So sure of finding treasure in there,
They'll dig until they're pulled out by their hair -
The holes! The greed!
There's
jools in that Hill,
They're sure of it, they'll never get their fill.
- Primula
So This
is Christmas
Originally it is happy X-mas / War is over by John lennon and Yoko Ono
So this is Christmas
And what have we done
Another year over
Without the ring it just begun
And so this is Christmas
Sam, now we have fun
Let's make it a hobbit one
Once weak and now strong
A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Now this will be a good one
Without any Ring
And so this is Christmas
But not for Mordor
For the Middle Earth ones
The world once as so poor
And so happy Christmas
For small and for tall
For hairy feet and dwarvish beards
Finally the war stopped at all
A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Now this will be a good one
Without any ring
And so this is Christmas
And what have we done
Sauron's time is over
And a new King has come
And so this is Christmas
Sam, we will have fun
The hobbits and Gondorians
Now we are finally one
A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Now this will be a good one
Without any ring
War is over over
Sauron's defeated
War is over
Now...
- Mrs. Pippin
Ferny Bills
(Silver Bells)
In the Pony, busy Pony,
In the corner alone,
Dunadan
Has been feeling
Suspicious.
Watch that, Mister...
People whisper,
Telling tale after tale
And on ev'ry street corner he sees...
Ferny Bills, Ferny Bills -
It's slinking time at the Pony.
Ring is here, where oh where?
Quick, lest they all get away.
Strings of rumors,
As the kegs pour -
Unaware they are seen
As the Southerns slip
Out with their cohorts.
Hear the glass smash,
See the beds slashed:
This is Ferny's big scene.
And beyond ruined bolsters,
You'll see,
Ferny Bills, Ferny Bills,
It's slinking time at the Pony
Ring is here, where oh where?
Quick, lest they all get away.
- Primula
The Lights of Bree
To the tune of Auld Lang
Syne
The lights of Bree look warm tonight
The Prancing Pony's packed
Through leaded windows I can see
The comfort I've long lacked.
A ranger walks a lonely road
And mine's more lonely still.
I know the driest place to sleep
On every local hill.
The lights of Bree remind me of
Those in a nobler place
Where Elrond dwells surrounded by
The fair immortal race.
In Rivendell I knew a home
Most loving, safe and kind.
Why do I wander in the wilds
And live on what I find?
The lights of Bree seem warm tonight,
The inn's guests laugh and shout
And though they think me strange and wild,
They will not shut me out.
And as I sit beside the fire
A beer mug in my hand,
I'll think about the things I do
And then I'll understand.
The lights of Bree will speak to me
Of this strange path of mine
And say because I gave up hearth
And home, Bree's lights still shine.
And if the folk of Bree don't know
I fight to keep them free,
At least I know my sword has kept
Alight the lights of Bree.
- Arasin