Poetry Melange

If Frodo had an animal
To keep from being sad
What would he choose to melt his blues
And make his soul feel glad?

Could a kitten melt away
The sorrow he must bear
And softly purr through silky fur
Whilst licking him with care?

Or would a puppy melt his heart
To see through his disguise
And shake a paw, or beg for more
With solemn liquid eyes?

Perhaps a pony could be found
That he could ride all day
Bearing Masters weight and Masters fate
Keeping misery at bay?

But Frodo doesn't need a pet
And so I beg your pardon,
As I had forgot (I kid you not)
The chap who digs his garden

Yes, Samwise will take care of him
His best friend he remained
Through Frodo's fall, but best of all
He comes fully toilet trained!!

OK, OK, I admit it...I had started out trying (for the first time) to write a serious poem. And I failed. Miserably. Back to the drawing board.....!!!

Once upon a fern-brake dreary
While Sam toiled weak and weary
Wishing herbs and spuds to stray
He raised his eyes to the pot in glee
An EASTER BUNNY tottering tottering
Right above in chocolate thaw
Quoth old Smeagol, Raw no more.

Those Toy Biz guys give us such treats!
Their action figures are really neat!
Hairless faces they do quite well,
Like Frodo, Sam and Galadriel.
Full beards and goatees are no trouble, you see,
On Gandalf, Boromir or old Gimli.
But the Toy Biz molder has yet to be born
Who can truthfully capture Aragorn.
They get his hair and all his gear,
But there's one shortcoming, I fear....

It's the stubble that gives them trouble.

When at last he's King and freshly shaven,
Will we see his visage then well-graven?

The board went blank
and I couldn't get in
I began to bang my head
on the keyboard again and again

I kept clicking my mouse
searching for my fave site
Kept cursing and clicking
with all of my might

When suddenly it appeared
back in it's full grace
My heart is back beating
to it's regular pace

I love Hobbits, that much is true
I have done so since I was eight.
They taught me to laugh, to live life and to drink,
to eat all the food off my plate.

I particularly like adventuring Hobbits,
the ones who feel wanderlust so strong.
To slay the dragon, get the treasure,
To destroy a ring that doesn't belong.

Now, Elves, they are a pretty site,
Especially warrior guys.
With their long braided hair and elegant bows
and their intense and beautiful eyes.

I wouldn't want to fall in love with an Elf,
as tempting as it may be,
they've lived far too long,they've seen everything
there is nothing new in a human like me.

The dwarves they are a hearty breed,
so talented in their metal arts,
But they're a bit too gruff and loud and harsh
and too accustomed to living in the dark.

And so I come full circle again,
to the Hobbits I love so dear
I know I skipped humans, been there and done that
I want a Hobbit like Sam so loyal, sweet and fat
To have lots of babies and love without fear.

Now, Pippin's a Hobbit I could love easily,
So funny and sweet and young
I could overlook his one foible you see,
his asking of questions so dumb.

Merry is a Hobbit with intelligence, Brains!
although he doesn't always use them.
He's usually the one to get Pippin in trouble
and that could be exactly as he plans 'em!

Merry seems more of a ladies Hobbit,
not one to settle down so soon.
He likes being the focus of all the ladies
not alone with just one in the room.

Frodo is one I could take in my arms
and try to love all his pain away,
But it is not mean to be, he cannot be healed here
he must go to the peace of the Havens to stay.

Alas! I am sad for none of this is to be
for Hobbits don't really exist.
But they live in my heart, and all of your hearts too
We can be Hobbits in our hearts if we insist!
(and I do!)

To the morrow, good fellowship, do travel well,
As our slumber comes near, nearer, nearest.
May we all continue to know we are blessed
With the gift of each other's good spirits.

Lord of the Rings
you gave us our wings,
that we use to fly
into a beautiful sky
shining of fantasy
and flowing of harmony
where everything is magical
and nothing is ever tragial,
a new world of mysteries
made up of many histories
into that beautiful sky
where nothing will ever die,
everything is said in the mighty book
that always gets and took
that little part of our mind
that never beeing so kind
leave us hopes and dreams
given to us by Lord of the Rings.

- Lord of the Light

Never Kiss a Ranger

There is a tale you must know
Of a movie and Broadway show
About a lady tall and fair
With deep brown eyes and curly hair
Now shining bright and laced with good
The tale of Miss Riding Hood.

But this is not your normal tome
Of evil wolf in grandma's home,
For it is mixed with just a dab
Of olive oil and even crab.
To make a dish of pure delight
That even you may try tonight.

Walking in the woods one day
Our protagonist was to stray
On not the expected hungry wolves
But a group of roaming Dwarves
Off to kill a fierce green dragon
Or maybe drinking by the flagon.

The fattest Dwarf did bow his head
Another burped "Hello!" instead
For it was common, you should see
To meet fine ladies by a tree
So off she went to drink her fill
Before the Dwarves collapsed quite ill.

It was there she suddenly saw
The toothy grin and strong square jaw
Belonging to a man in blue
With tattered shirt and one left shoe
"A Ranger he," the barman said
"By the looks of it, one half dead."

And in that moment she found love
Amid the roasting turtle dove
Gazing into his deep blue eyes
As the ladies let out their sighs
"He is gorgeous and so dreamy,
Why on earth does he not see me!"

However she was not the type
To sit around and read the hype
So leaping up upon her table
She said out loud, "I'm free and able!
Come and get me, you lover boy
Stop being silly and acting coy!"

And so it was they married later
Over feast of alligator
But the thing she didn't question
Was his moonlight prone attention
For every night it came out full
There came a howling midnight call.

Now one new year's eve at her mums
After everyone had filled their tums
The moon was full and shining bright
And they were in for one big fright
Her new found beau began to change
Growing fur and looking strange.

Two big blue eyes that looked quite odd
And toothy fangs like Uncle Todd
He howled out loud and licked his tongue
For he liked meat that was not young
"I am a werewolf not a man,
Now I'm going to eat your gran!"

But Mrs Hood was never scared
As best laid plans are yet prepared
And from the fireplace she did pull
Grandpa's shotgun that was still full
Her finger lingered on the trigger
Waiting for him to grow bigger.

She looked into his deep blue eyes
Hoping to see through his guise
Until he leapt for grandma's chair
The trigger pulled and hit his hair
He fell down dead right at her feet
Justice served for revenge is sweet.

That next day was grandma's treat
With a sausage full of werewolf meat
However it was not all that bad
And Mrs Hood was not left sad
For she learnt to avoid danger
And never kissed another Ranger.

- Laiquendi