Ways Your Behavior has Changed since You're a Ringer
by Rogorn, with additions
Top 70... ways your behaviour has changed since you’re a Ringer
70 You bow to no-one.
69 You only do something if there is certainty of death and small chance of success.
68 You never leave because there is no hope... you leave because you must.
67 You can sing well enough for your own people, but not in great halls during evil times... or in karaoke bars.
66 You only do as you’re told if they make you a guard of the Citadel.
65 Whenever you want to contact your friends, you light some beacons first.
64 If you’re not allowed to mention Frodo or the Ring or Aragorn or
Denethor’s beloved son’s death, you’d rather not speak at all.
63 Whenever you catch a cold you feel the life of the Eldar leaving you.
62 When in doubt about something, you often listen to what your
heart tells you... but all it keeps saying is that Frodo is alive.
Silly heart. Obsessed heart.
61 When you come home after a hard day’s work, you feel you are
back at the Green Dragon... Only, you’ve never done a hard day’s work.
60 If you can’t do something, you think you could let HER do it. Yes, she could do it.
59 You find yourself wondering if you will ever be put on song or tales.
58 Whenever you go out, you tell people to look for you at dawn of the fifth day.
57 Whenever you go South, you feel like going downhill.
56 You never hurry or rush... you become hasty.
55 You find it difficult to describe things... you prefer finding people a box.
54. If you don’t fit into your old clothes anymore, it’s because they are a little tight across the chest.
53 When you wake up from a hangover... you ask Gamling who you are.
(Then, if he actually answers “you are our king, sire”, then that was a
52. When looking for a suitable date, you feel that most have seen too many winters... or too few.
51. You don’t go to meetings... you go to entmoots. And then, the
first thing you do there is decide whether the rest are orcs or not.
50 They’re not chips anymore... they are taters, preciousss.
49. When someone annoys you, you tell them to leave now and never come back. Three times.
48 Your excuse for coming home late is that darkness took you, and you strayed out of thought and time.
47 You’re on nobody’s side, because nobody’s on your side, and because nobody cares for the woods anymore.
46. Whenever you are troubled, you remind yourself that the key is to keep breathing.
45 When you are in a very crowded place you sniff the air and smell... man-flesh.
44 You never swear to do things... but if you have to, you’ll only do it on the preciousss.
43 You be nice to people... if people be nice to you.
42 Nothing ever dampens your spirits... except rainclouds.
41. You don’t turn lights off... you fall into shadow.
40. Conversely, you don’t turn them on... you risk a little light.
39. Whenever you don’t know what to do... you let the ringbearer decide.
38 If you want it... you go and claim it.
37 You never carry trinkets either.
36 You may not like some drinks... but if they come in pints...
35 You could aid people willingly... but you have elected the way of pain.
(exactly, if it comes in pints, you’re getting one)
34 Sometimes you feel like abandoning reason for madness.
33 Anyone can learn all that there is to know about your ways in a
month... but after a hundred years, you can still surprise them.
32 You don’t consider things... you argue the withertos and whyfors.
31 People are not slow... they are some block-headed Bracegirdle from Hardbottle (or fools of a Took).
30 You don’t want any more visitors or well-wishers, or distant relations... Only old friends on party business.
29. You never ask for return tickets... you ask to go there and back again.
28 Your favourite excuse is that the hearts of men are easily
corrupted. Oh, yeah, and, that the Ring of Power has a will of its own.
27 You are proud of your feet.
26 You don’t do things... you see them done.
25. You’re never late... you arrive precisely when you mean to.
24 You never get lost... you just have no memory of this place.
23 Conversely, you don’t have usual hangouts... only places that
look strangely familiar... because you have been here before... going
22. You’re never afraid... not nearly frightened enough.
21. Well, in fact, your biggest fear is being turned into something... unnatural.
20. You never drop any eaves either.
19. You don’t improve at things... you think you’re getting the hang of them.
18. You never feel tired... you feel stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.
17. You never have snacks between meals... they are second breakfasts, luncheon, elevenses.
16. You hate your alarm clock... but it’s an eye-opener, make no mistake.
15. You never let people in... without speaking Friend before.
14. Things are never old... they are ‘old... very old’.
13. When someone annoys you... you officially label them a disturber of the peace.
12. When you see something for the first time... you call it a new devilry.
11 The things you own are not yours... they are your own AND your preciousss.
10. You don’t know a thing about birds... but all you see in the sky are crebain.
9. Whenever you pass a test... you diminish, go into the west and remain who you are.
8. Whenever you get angry against someone... pity always stays your hand.
7. You never feel dizzy... it’s only your love of the halflings’ leaf clouding your judgement.
6. You can feel the world has changed... You can feel it the water... you can feel it in the earth.
5. There is only one Lord of the Remote Control... and he does not share power.
4. When you think about your friends and family, you feel that you
don't know half of them half as well as you should like... and you like
less than half of them half as well as they deserve.
3. But you like you friends so much that it’s hardly ever possible
to separate you... even when they are summoned to a secret council and
you are not.
(How many of you said “from Dúnland!” in number 10?)
2. Life is easy for you... all you have to do is decide what to do with the time that has been given to you.
1. When someone has to take the garbage out, you will go... although you do not know the way.
Added from the Boards:
Dinledhwen: How about when the phone rings and its a telemarketer
(or someone else you can't stand) and you immediately think there is a
foul voice in the air?
Nuroreiel: Or that you are especially fond of things that come in
pints... and at the grocery store you look for shortcuts to mushrooms!
Franny 86: When my cat's sitting outside the chickengarden drooling
with hunger in her look at the cuties I say: ‘They are not for eating!’
Kingslady: When I am in a meeting and see my boss about to enter the room, I say: ‘Let the lord of the dark land come forth!’
Captain Peregrine: Whenever I feel I am in trouble, I always think: ‘The closer I am to danger, the farther I am from harm.’
Bellarohan: My son (aged 4) once refused to go to bed in his new
bedroom because ‘everything that once was is lost’ (he said
‘everything’ instead of ‘much’, but you get the idea).
Halona Treeclan: Or you are invited to dinner on the spur of the
moment and friends drop by to pick you up and they ask ‘How you been
doing?’ You answer: ‘Great,where are we going?’
FaramirFan03: If I'm ever late to any of my classes at school I'm
going to say: ‘I'm never late, I arrive precisely when I mean to.’
I tell my cats: ‘No, no nice crunchable birdses’.
And to those strange people who knock at the door to sell or inform of
whatever their wares: ‘Hobbits, four hobbits’.
Mathom: When I find out someone lied to me I call them tricksy, wicked, false!
Dinledhwen: Or if a friend of yours is shorter and having trouble
seeing over something you say: ‘Shall I describe it to you or would you
like me to go find you a box?’
Goldberry-: Somebody you know does something absolutely crazy or stupid: ‘Have you been at the Gaffer's home brew?’
Aredhel_Ar-Feiniel: I walked in my door once and announced as I
shut it: ‘They've got a cave troll’. My friends thought I was mad. I
thought it was funny. You can add dancing like gollum when happy.
When someone says 'It's mine' you always add: 'My own,
Setting out on a journey (or to go on hols), belt
out: 'Home is behind! The world ahead!', or 'The road goes ever on.'
When my brother sings: 'There are fell voices in the air!' When I'm
doing something silly like I burned by finger: 'DON'T tell the elf!'
Peredhil: When you tangle your shoelaces you say: ‘There’s nothing for it: it’s one of my laces.’
Whenever we have leftover 'taters at home I write on
the containers "PO-TAY-TOES" followed in smaller letters by ‘boil 'em,
mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew.’
Or how about when you try to convince
someone of something they just wont believe, tell them: ‘You're
Halona-Treeclan: Or when the lights went out during the hurricane,I said: ‘We must now face the long dark of Ivan.’
Goldberry-: Instead of a ‘No Trespassing’ sign, you put up a sign saying ‘You Shall Not Pass.’
Halona-Treeclan: In the kitchen when I am preparing the veggies: ‘There's knife work needs doing here.’
Dinledhwen: When someone is late in arriving you say in elvish: ‘Le abdollen.’
Fíriel: Every time I see the stars, I can't help whispering: ‘Elbereth Gilthoniel.’
Traevynn: Whenever you find something to snack on, you say: ‘And look, more lembas bread!’
Halona-Treeclan: In your dream diary you notice all entries begin with ‘In a dream I saw...’
lostinm_e: I find myself saying "sneaking" in that Gollumy voice
when I am. Or ‘stupid fat hobbit’ when I'm frustrated, or ‘not
listening! not listening!’ when I don't want to!
Lady-of-Light: I find myself saying when someone ask directions somewhere: ‘You go AS THE NAZGUL FLIES’.
FaramirFan03: When you go to the beach if you see someone throwing
shells into the water you go up to them and say ‘Do not disturb the
Halona-Treeclan: My mattress totally needs to be a sleep number bed
cause 'Everyway I turn there's a great dirty root stickin' in my back.'
Lady-of-Light: ‘One remote to rule them all.’
Or when you're feeling nervous you think: ‘Keep
breathing, that's the key.’
Or when you have to run for the bus you
complain: ‘I'm wasted on cross-country.’
Gandalf_921: ‘And you ride to my house seeking my counsel, for that is why you have come, is it not, my old friend?’
When you take a shortcut, it always leads to mushrooms.
When leaving for work in the morning and seeing the sunrise, you think
to yourself: ‘The red sun rises’, and you are most certain that blood
has been spilt this night.
lostinm_e: When you're driving with your kids and they say ‘where are we going?’ you reply: ‘Into the Wilds’.
FaramirFan03: When I went on a cruise in spring I kept on thinking: ‘Grey ships pass into the west.’
Traevynn: When you go on a road trip, you sing: ‘Home is behind, the world ahead. There are many paths to tread.’
lostinm_e: ‘I will not say:do not weep, for not all tears are an
evil.’ We will be saying this come Dec. when we realize no more LOTR
At work: ‘May the lord of the dark land come forth!
And may all paperwork fall upon him!’
Whenever I see the sunrise in the
morning I think the same thing: ‘The Red Sun Rises!’ Then I immediately
want to be on a horse and make the ride of the Rohirrim!
Whenever I see
the sun as a haze in the clouds I find myself saying: ‘The beacons are
Whenever someone at work ticks me off I say: ‘And you know what
this dwarf says to that?!’
Whenever going out to collect samples I say:
‘You need people of intelligence to go on this
I have a maroon mug that I use quite often to
drink out of and every time I am with my fellow Ringers and I have it I
want to break out into the songs: ‘Hey ho to the bottle I go to heal my
heart and drown my woe.’ Or: ‘You can kick your fancy ales. You can
drink them by the flagon. But the only brew for the brave and true
comes from the Green Dragon!’ I win! I know them both by heart!
sometimes say: ‘Don't make me use my Ring!’
To bewilder my coworkers I
sometimes say: ‘You should have tagged when you tigged. You should have
togged when you tagged. You should have tigged when you togged.’
more serious note whenever I get down I find myself saying: ‘For
Frodo’, ‘That there is some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's
worth fightin' for.’ ‘Even the smallest person can change the course of
the future.’ ‘All you have to decide is what to do with the time that
is given to you.’
Traevynn: When it’s time to clean the house: ‘It is a barren
wasteland riddled with fire, ash and dust. The very air you breathe is
a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand could you do this. It is