Top Ten Lists 4

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Contents of this page:

Custom LOTR Paint Colors
15 Heartbreaking Moments from The Two Towers
Ten Lines that Wouldn't have been Nearly as Impressive if they'd had a Bad Cold
10 Reasons it was a Good Thing Pippin was not the Ringbearer
Ten Scenes We Don't Want to see in the Extended TTT DVD
Ten Scenes We Don't Want to see in RotK
Top Ten Favorite Samwise Quotes from the Book
Top Ten Reasons Elrond gets 'that look' on his Face
Top Ten Reasons Legolas Spent Time Away From The Fellowship While In Caras Galadhon
Top Ten Reasons Why Merry & Pippin Look Cool in Armour
Top Ten Reasons we will Cry at RotK
Top Ten signs we Ringers can tell you're new on the boards
Top Ten Things to Give Eomer for His Birthday
Top Ten Things You Should Not Give As Christmas Presents to The LOTR Characters
Top Ten Worst Nightmares of the Fellowship

Top Ten reasons Elrond gets 'that look' on his face

10. Men are Weak

9. Tying to come up with Vegan menu for Prince of

8. Daughter just told him "Bite me, Daddy."

7. Fitting for new Robes was a disaster...Hot Pink???

6. Crown Shrank at dry cleaners

5. Insurance Premium for twin sons just arrived.

4. Mother-in-law is playing mind games.

3. Erestor keeps calling him 'Elwood'.

2. Pushy Wizards...need I say more.

And the number one reason why Elrond gets that look on
his face

Hobbits put bubbles in the hot tub.....again
- Lindorie

Ten Scenes We Don't Want to See in the Extended TTT DVD

10. Elrond's long telepathic conversation with Celeborn....very....slowly....

9. Outtakes from the corpses in the Dead Marshes, when they couldn't keep a straight face and kept giggling underwater.

8. Aragorn swatting Arwen away because she keeps showing up and kissing him at Helm's Deep. (I'm *fine* - Blast it, woman...I'm not hurt! Now get outta the way! No, I do not need more blessing from any Valar - duck!)

7. Gollum's choreographed break dance to go with his fishy song.

6. Frodo tackling Sam and smashing his share of lembas into Sam's face. "If you say you like this Elvish stuff one more time...!"

5. By the stream, Sam sticking his tongue out at Frodo's retreating back and waggling his fingers by his ears.

4. Wide-eyed, dirty refugees. And look! More wide-eyed, dirty refugees! And MORE and MORE wide-eyed, dirty refugees!....

3. Eomer squishing Grima's face into other funny shapes for the amusement of the guards.  "Look at this one. If you smoosh his lips like this he looks like a goldfish!"

2. Treebeard missing the orc and accidently stepping on Merry.

1. Lines of stern archer Elves marching inexplicably into Henneth Annun, the Withywindle Valley and Hobbiton.
- Primula
Frodo's triple pike with half twist into the dead marshes  - Carnen

 #11. Haldir and the Elves marching into Helm's deep and delivering some lovely Elven umbrella's to the
Men, before marching on to the Grey Havens (Galadriel could do weather-foresight)

#12. Aragorn returning to HD after his 'fall' wearing long white robes and with dyed hair. - Avondster


Ten Scenes We Don't Want to See in RotK

10. Shelob being slain by a line of Elven archers who inexplicably march into Cirith Ungol.

9. Green zombies with crocheted shawls in the Paths of the Dead.

8. Eowyn and Merry being phased out so Arwen can confront the Witch King.

7.  Every anguish of Frodo in slo-mo with closeups. Every. Anguish.

6. The Eye of Sauron bobbing around the battlefield like a giant flaming yoyo.

5.  Cute Gondorian children, who look strangely familiar.

4.  Cheesy corsairs with extra fuzzy wigs and lots of dirt who snarl a lot, but are easily defeated by one Man, one Dwarf and one Elf and lots of cute "short" jokes.

3. Dwarf tossing at the Black Gate to lighten the mood.

2. Still More Dirty, wide-eyed local Gondorians.  And look! EVEN MORE dirty, wide-eyed local Gondorians! (Isn't there anyone in this place with a bar of soap?)

1.  The Talking Stone of Erech.

- Primula

Scenes I WOULD like to see:
1. Peter Jackson cut corners and Shelob will be a giant papier mache spider with visible strings.
2. Pippin and Merry start a food fight at the victory banquet.
3. Saruman and Grima Wormtongue sing "Just the Two of Us" ala Dr. Evil and Mini-Me.
4. Saruman accidentally drops sugar into his Orc cooking pot and the Orcs all start fighting over the one female Orc.
 - AuntKimby35

#11. At the end, the scene switches back to Mt. Doom, and from within its ruins we can hear a familiar voice murmuring:
"my preciousss..." before screen fades to black and credits start. - Avondster

Samwise running barefoot through the Minas Ungol slaughtering orcs as though he were Bruce Willis in "Die Hard IV,
A Hobbit on the Edge"

Frodo standing on the edge of the Cracks of Doom, groping in his pockets muttering, "Maybe I dropped it in that tunnel..."  
 - Lothithil

11 - Cameo of PJ as the Witchking.
12 - Dance scene in the end of ROTK with cute baby hobbits dancing ala ROT Jedi.
13 - Matrix style fight scene between Aragorn and Sauron.
14 - Standard horror ending where Sauron comes back from the apparent dead to take one last swipe at Aragorn.
15 - Aragorn using some catch phrase like "I'll be back - you wont"
16 - Often overlooked scene in ROTK with Eowyn and Arwen having girl-talk session over who is cuter.
17 - Did we mention PJ's kids yet?
18 - ANY boy band making cameo as Gondorian troops.
- Morgoth

Top Ten Reasons we will cry at Return of the King.

10. Arwen and Aragorn’s wedding

9. “I can crawl Sam…”

8. “I’m glad you’re with me here at the end of all things, Sam….”

7. Sam coming home to Rosie and Elanor

6. Frodo getting bitten by Shelob

5 Aragorn being crowned king

4. Sam’s heartbreak over Frodo’s “death”

3. Cirith Ungol…Frodo being whipped and Sam singing

2. The Grey Havens

And the number one reason why we’ll all be crying in our seats…our towels soaked and our friends thinking
we’re even more crazy than they thought….

1. It will all be over

- Eglerio Hyn

11. Theoden's death.

12. Pippin and Merry - "Are you going to bury me?"

13. Merry remembering Theoden and initially refusing a pipe...
- Primula

Denethor almost buring his son...oh, gosh, I hope that gets in there!

Theoden's horse rolling over his body

Theoden speaking his last words to Merry

Merry and Pippin meeting up and almost not recognizing each other after the battles

(if this is in there) The mouth of sauron showing the "good guys" Frodo's Mithril coat, and Pippin being
horrified by the sight of it

Gandalf: "I will not say, 'Do not weep,' for not all tears are an evil"....
- Tori*Took

"They were all shouting 'corsairs', but I knew it was you..."
- Elen Lilta

When Merry asks Theoden to receive his service...

'As a father you shall be to me,' said Merry.
'For a little while,' said Theoden.

In the Tower of Cirith Ungol when Sam starts singing and then he hears Frodo answer him.
- Joyful

"Don't go where I can't follow!" . . .
- Peregrine

'Then anger surged over him, and he ran about his master's body in a rage, stabbing the air, and smiting
the stones, and shouting challenges.'
'"He's dead!" he said. "Not asleep, dead!"'
- thepinkrider

10. Frodo, Laying his head in Sam's lap to sleep in Stairs of Cirith Ungol.

9. Gollum/Smeagol Caressing Frodo's knee while they are sleeping.

8. Sam when Frodo is "dead" Removing the ring and kissing Frodo's forehead. Then asking Frodo for forgivenss for leaving
him and vowing to come back! Oh sniff, I am crying already!

7. The Pyre of Denethor!!!!

6. Thoden's Death

5. Pippin finding Merry on the streets of Gondor! Then Gandalf saying "He should have been borne in honor into this city."

4. Pippin's dispair at Frodo and Sam's clothes at the Black gate

3. Gimli finding Pippin under the Troll

2. "I cannot see them, no sates of food, no feel of water, no sound of wind, no memory of tree, or grass or flower, no image of moon or star are left to me. I am naked in the dark, Sam, and there is no veil between me and the wheel of fire. I begin to see it even with my waking eyes, and all else fades."

1. "Come, Mr. Frodo, I can't carry it for you but I can carry you"

Oh what's the use I know I shall cry from begining to end at this movie!
- Lizmybit

Top Ten things to give Eomer for his birthday

10. A stylist (that helmet is sooo last age!)

9. A babysitter to watch that tricksy little sister of his.

8. A hairbrush.

7. An architect who can build him a new fortress.

6. A bottle of shampoo.

5. Tickets to the new film "How To Lose A Slimy Guy Who's Hitting On Your Sister In 10 Days"

4. A mirror.

3. Book: "Exorcism For Dummies - Do It Yourself!"

2. More screen time!!!

And the number one present for Eomer's birthday:

1. An appointment with Legolas's hairdresser.
- Avondster


10. It hurts less if they get stepped on.

9. Those battle gloves are just so… manly! *sigh*

8. Well, it’s nice to see a change in clothing after two movies.

7. Because the armour looks cool, and they look cool!

6. Merry: “Hey, it *does* make me look taller!”

5. They blend in (well, sort of).

4. Can you imagine how yukky their clothes were after six months? Ugh!

3. Don’t you just LOVE men in uniform (even if they’re only 4 ft tall)?

2. Pippin: “It matches colours with this nice shiny orb I found…”

And the number one reason why M & P look cool in armour:

1. Oooh! *faints*
- Avondster

Top Ten signs we Ringers can tell you're new on the boards

1. You ask questions like what is a mummu and what’s going on with this sponge thing?

2. What’s PIN?

3. You get angry when Rosie deletes your thread & you rave on about the fact you said nothing wrong – I mean come on I think that Rosie chicks over exaggerating all I said was That Sean Austin guy isn’t really that good looking and omg he cant even act

4. You keep getting told off for not putting nt or txt at the end of your post

5. You post stuff like – so what’s this about pints – your all not alcoholics now are u?

6. Did you really teach Frodo to dance?

7. What does “Those Eyes” mean

8. What did she mean by (muumuu, Gimli in fridge, smurf, goo)? nt


"What is going on here?"—Pippin(Lorbg)<- lol lordbg always ask those questions

I don’t know “that fellow was looking for something or someone."—Merry(Dandy)

“did you tell him he should try middle earth” (Stegbaggins)

- lina

Additions by Tori*Took:

~They come into Middle Earth saying, "omg! Orli bloom is so hott! what do you think?"

~"Do I need to use Pay pal for my drinks?"

~They come to one of the boards and post IN BIG LETTERS FOR THIER SUBJECT and the message is something like, "Hey, do you know where I can get Premier tickets?(If we did know, I'm sure they would all be bought out by now)....Is it true there isn't going to be a trailer attached to The Twin Towers? (asked 5 weeks after everyone here found out about it)...How come some people post in green, and others post in blue?" (That's just a sample of the questions;-))

10 reasons why it is a good thing Pippin was not the Ring-bearer:

10. Pippin probably would have made the same mistake Little Red Riding Hood did and started picking mushrooms (instead of flowers) along the way.

9. The Quest would have taken years because he would have stopped to tell every Orc he met about his uncle's wife's cousin to the fourth degree.

8. He might have lived to regret risking everything for a pint of ale.

7. He was more concerned about ash in his tomatoes than Ring-Wraiths at Weathertop and about being hungry rather than than lost in Moria.

6. He didn't really fall into the "people of intelligence" catagory anyway.

5. It would have taken more than throwing an apple to ward off Shelob.

4. If he had been packing the Ring through Moria, it would have gone down that well with the Orc helmet.

3. He would have never gotten Gandalf to go with a "Fool of a Took" carrying the Ring.

2. He didn't even know where the mission, quest, or thing was going.

1. I can just hear him saying in ROTK: "Merry, are you sure we're supposed to cast the Ring in the volcano? Now that I think
 of it, Gandalf might have said it needed to be taken to one of those wishing wells in Lothlorian."
- Daydream Believer

Top 10: Worst nightmares of the Fellowship

10. Galadriel giving the Hobbits Super Soakers as a parting gift.

9. Arwen following Aragorn around everywh... oh wait, that actually happened.

8. A Cave troll, a giant squid & a big bunch of Orcs stalking Frodo.
7. Boromir's midnight horn practises.

6. Balrog.

5. Seeing Gimli's beard up close.

4. Ralph Bakshi's costume designer.

3. Pippin.

2. Sauron taking over Middle-Earth and destroying all green & happy stuff.

And the very worst nightmare of the Fellowship of the Ring:

1. Legolas with Early Morning hair.
- Avondster

My Favourite Top Ten Samwise quotes from the book

#10 – “Eavesdropping sir? I don’t follow you, begging your pardon. There ain’t no eaves at Bag End, and that’s a fact.”

#9 – I have something to do before the end, and it lies ahead, not in the Shire. I must see it through sir, if you understand me.”

#8 – “When ever you open your big mouth you put your foot in it the Gaffer used to say to me, and right enough. O dear, O dear!”

#7 – “In the old days hobbits used to go on their travels now and again. Not that many ever came back, and not all that they said was believed: news from Bree, and not sure as Shire talk, as the sayings go.”

#6 – “Don’t let him turn me into anything unnatural!”

#5 – “We’ve got – you’ve got some of the light of it (Silmaril) in that star-glass the lady gave you! Why, to think of it, we’re in the same tale still! It’s going on. Don’t the great tales never end?”

#4 – “It wasn’t a dream!” (After waking in the Field of Cormallen)

#3 – “Well, I’m back” (Very last line, always makes me cry!_

#2 – “Is there a storm coming? If so it’s going to be the worst there ever was.” (What a prophecy!) <

And #1…….
(More of a conversation, but so funny)

“What’s taters, precious, eh, what’s taters?”

“Po – ta – toes. The Gaffer’s delight and rare good ballast for an empty belly. But you won’t find any, so you needn’t look. But be good Smeagol and fetch me those herbs, and I’ll think better of you. What’s more, if you turn over a new leaf, and keep it turned, I’ll cook you some taters one of these days. I will: fried fish and chips served by S. Gamgee. You couldn’t say no to that.”

“Yes, yes we could. Spoiling nice fish, scorching it. Give me fish now, and keep nassty chips!”
“Oh you’re hopeless”, said Sam. “Go to sleep!”
- Gimli's Goat

15 Heartbreaking Moments from The Two Towers

Ok, I know we do a million of these on the board, but I just wanted to share my favorite and most heartbreaking moments of TTT. (In no particular order)

1. Upon hearing that the Uruks smell “man flesh”, Pippin murmurs “Aragorn” and a ray of hope lights up his face.
2. Gimli, muttering that dwarves are wasted on distance, they are natural sprinters.
3. Theoden weeping over Theodred’s grave
4. Haldir’s awkward return hug and little smile as Aragorn embraces him at Helms Deep.
5. The Ent on fire running into the unleashed river and dipping himself in it.
6. The look of helpless resignation on Frodo’s face as he offers himself up for sacrifice to the ring and the Nazgul who would take it from him.
7. “Its your Sam - Don’t you know your Sam?”
8. The single tear sliding down Grima’s face as he beholds the army of Uruk-Hai.
9. “Forth Eorlingas!”
10. Arwen in despair at Aragorn’s side in death.
11. Legolas flipping onto Gimli’s horse during the Warg attack AND sliding down the wall of Helm’s Deep on a orc shield, shooting all the way. Elves Rule!
12. “There won’t BE a shire, Pippin.”
13. “I’ll have no pointy-ear outscoring me!”
14. “Looks like meat’s back on the menu, boys!!”
15. In the forest, at the end…Frodo’s face when he says ”I want to hear more about Sam; Frodo wouldn’t have gotten far without Sam.” And Sean Astin’s face when he says to himself, “Samwise the Brave.”
- NorthStar

Additions by The Foe Hammer:

When Gandalf says "Theoden King stands alone" and Eomer comes up and says "Not alone"

Gimli in the scene with Eowyn "He fell" (literally and figuratively)

Gollum's look after Sam gives his speech.

Faramir "Then it is forfeit."

Ten Lines that Wouldn't have been Nearly as Impressive if they'd had a Bad Cold

10. "Thabbowfaz!"

9.  "Theh ib stih hobe."

8. "Ah wooh hab fallob you, ma brubbuh, ma capon, ma kin!"

7. "Nahn sall be da Feddowsihb ob da Hween!"

6. "Thuh dwahh beeves so lowe-wee hwe couh hab shob hihm in thuh dok."

5. "You hab ma sode."

4. "Lehd theb cohm! Theh ib yed wa dwahh ib Mobia thah stih dwahs blefh!"

3. "Ib a pibby Biboh dibbunt kih hib wheh he hab a chass!"

2.. "Ah am ah thuhvunt ob da theecret fahr, hweildoh ob da fwame ob Ahnoh..."

1. "Behode...thuh Ahgonahh!"
- Primula

Custom LOTR Paint Colors for your Home...or whatever...
By Blob, boriel and Calafalas one night at the Pony

Boromir Blue
Legolas Lavender
Aragorn Azure
Gimli Green
Eowyn Yellow
Gandalf Grey
Pippin Puce
Faramir Fawn
Sauron Scarlet
Balrog Black
Celeborn Cerise
Frodo Fuschia

Isildur Indigo
Osgiliath Orange
Eomer Eggplant
Eomer Aubergine
Haldir Hessian
Theoden Thatch
Springle-ring Spring-green
Matt Heathertoes Heather

Haldir Honeydew
Galadriel Goldenrod
Aunduin Avocado
Samwise Sapphire
Merry Mellon
Bill Beige
Moria Maroon


Merry Mocha
Quickbeam Cream (fast drying of course)
Theoden Thistle
Smeagols Shiny Sheen
Precious Purple Pleasure and Pain
Treebeard Tangerine(brought to you by Fangorn's Forest Friendly paints)  -  HobbitNaga

Samwise Sienna
Theoden Turquoise
Merry Mauve  - JennanOPossums

Grima Grey
Denethor Denim - Leggy Pants

Bombadil Babyblue
Celeborn Kermitgreen
Rosie Rose ( of course !) - Rosie Cotton

Legolas Green-leaf
Bright Galadriel White (slightly metallic)
Earthy Samwise Brown (a shade darker than khaki)
Ooh! Khaki of Khazad-Dum!
Boromir Burgundy
Aubergine of Arwen
Orc-blood Black  - Lyrkalas

Orc Ochre
Goblin Green
Wurm Red
Wraith White
Belaugir Black
Glorfindel Gold - Lothithil

Top Ten Reasons Legolas Spent Time Away From The Fellowship While In Caras Galadhon:

10. Sam kept eavesdropping on private conversations he had with a female elf.

9. Gimli kept asking him if he would get him Galadriel’s autograph.

8. Frodo kept sneaking up behind him while wearing the ring and saying “BOO!”

7. He would have starved because the hobbits kept snitching food off his plate when he wasn’t looking.

6. Merry and Pippen wanted him to help them build a tree house.

5. He was obligated to spend time with the relatives (we’ve all been down that road).

4. He needed to have his braids redone at the Braids-R-Us Salon.

3. He was tired of watching Frodo and Sam making faces in Galadriel’s mirror.

2. He couldn’t stand to listen to Boromir singing Three Coins in the Fountain while in the shower.

And the number one reason Legolas spent time away from the Fellowship while in Caras Galadhon:

1. Tolkien wrote it that way.
- Dinledhwen

Top Ten Things You Should Not Give As Christmas Presents to The LOTR Characters:

10. A brightly colored Hawaiian Shirt for Gandalf.

9. An all expense paid vacation to see the Giant Redwoods for Gimli.

8. A Water Garden for Saruman’s Tower.

7. A year supply of glass cleaner for Galadriel’s Mirror.

6. A Free offer from a Dating Service for Arwen.

5. A Gift Certificate from a Sushi Restaurant for Sam.

4. A Gold Crown for Aragorn (he still doesn’t want to be the King).

3. A Gift Certificate to a Weight Loss Clinic for all the Hobbits.

2. A Toy Bow and Arrows (with the suction cup ends) for Legolas.

1. A Gold Ring for Frodo.
- Dinledhwen