Scenes I WOULD like to see:
1. Peter Jackson cut corners and Shelob will be a giant papier mache
spider with visible strings.
2. Pippin and Merry start a food fight at the victory banquet.
3. Saruman and Grima Wormtongue sing "Just the Two of Us" ala Dr. Evil
4. Saruman accidentally drops sugar into his Orc cooking pot and the
Orcs all start fighting over the one female Orc.
#11. At the end, the scene switches back to Mt. Doom, and from within
its ruins we can hear a familiar voice murmuring:
"my preciousss..." before screen fades to black and credits start. -
Samwise running barefoot through the Minas Ungol slaughtering orcs as
though he were Bruce Willis in "Die Hard IV,
A Hobbit on the Edge"
Frodo standing on the edge of the Cracks of Doom, groping in his
pockets muttering, "Maybe I dropped it in that tunnel..."
11 - Cameo of PJ as the Witchking.
12 - Dance scene in the end of ROTK with cute baby hobbits dancing ala
13 - Matrix style fight scene between Aragorn and Sauron.
14 - Standard horror ending where Sauron comes back from the apparent
dead to take one last swipe at Aragorn.
15 - Aragorn using some catch phrase like "I'll be back - you wont"
16 - Often overlooked scene in ROTK with Eowyn and Arwen having
girl-talk session over who is cuter.
17 - Did we mention PJ's kids yet?
18 - ANY boy band making cameo as Gondorian troops.
Top Ten Reasons we will cry at Return of the
10. Arwen and Aragorn’s wedding
9. “I can crawl Sam…”
8. “I’m glad you’re with me here at the end of all things, Sam….”
7. Sam coming home to Rosie and Elanor
6. Frodo getting bitten by Shelob
5 Aragorn being crowned king
4. Sam’s heartbreak over Frodo’s “death”
3. Cirith Ungol…Frodo being whipped and Sam singing
2. The Grey Havens
And the number one reason why we’ll all be crying in our seats…our
towels soaked and our friends thinking
we’re even more crazy than they thought….
1. It will all be over
- Eglerio Hyn
11. Theoden's death.
12. Pippin and Merry - "Are you going to bury me?"
13. Merry remembering Theoden and initially refusing a pipe...
Denethor almost buring his son...oh, gosh, I hope that gets in there!
Theoden's horse rolling over his body
Theoden speaking his last words to Merry
Merry and Pippin meeting up and almost not recognizing each other after
(if this is in there) The mouth of sauron showing the "good guys"
Frodo's Mithril coat, and Pippin being
horrified by the sight of it
Gandalf: "I will not say, 'Do not weep,' for not all tears are an
"They were all shouting 'corsairs', but I knew it was you..."
- Elen Lilta
When Merry asks Theoden to receive his service...
'As a father you shall be to me,' said Merry.
'For a little while,' said Theoden.
In the Tower of Cirith Ungol when Sam starts singing and then he hears
Frodo answer him.
"Don't go where I can't follow!" . . .
'Then anger surged over him, and he ran about his master's body in a
rage, stabbing the air, and smiting
the stones, and shouting challenges.'
'"He's dead!" he said. "Not asleep, dead!"'
10. Frodo, Laying his head in Sam's lap to sleep in Stairs of Cirith
9. Gollum/Smeagol Caressing Frodo's knee while they are sleeping.
8. Sam when Frodo is "dead" Removing the ring and kissing Frodo's
forehead. Then asking Frodo for forgivenss for leaving
him and vowing to come back! Oh sniff, I am crying already!
7. The Pyre of Denethor!!!!
6. Thoden's Death
5. Pippin finding Merry on the streets of Gondor! Then Gandalf saying
"He should have been borne in honor into this city."
4. Pippin's dispair at Frodo and Sam's clothes at the Black gate
3. Gimli finding Pippin under the Troll
2. "I cannot see them, no sates of food, no feel of water, no sound of
no memory of tree, or grass or flower, no image of moon or star are
to me. I am naked in the dark, Sam, and there is no veil between me and
wheel of fire. I begin to see it even with my waking eyes, and all else
1. "Come, Mr. Frodo, I can't carry it for you but I can carry you"
Oh what's the use I know I shall cry from begining to end at this movie!
Top Ten things to give Eomer
for his birthday
10. A stylist (that helmet is sooo last age!)
9. A babysitter to watch that tricksy little sister of his.
8. A hairbrush.
7. An architect who can build him a new fortress.
6. A bottle of shampoo.
5. Tickets to the new film "How To Lose A Slimy Guy Who's Hitting On
Your Sister In 10 Days"
4. A mirror.
3. Book: "Exorcism For Dummies - Do It Yourself!"
2. More screen time!!!
And the number one present for Eomer's birthday
1. An appointment with Legolas's hairdresser.
Top Ten signs we Ringers can tell you're new on
TOP TEN REASONS WHY MERRY &
PIPPIN LOOK COOL IN ARMOUR
10. It hurts less if they get stepped on.
9. Those battle gloves are just so… manly! *sigh*
8. Well, it’s nice to see a change in clothing after two movies.
7. Because the armour looks cool, and they look cool!
6. Merry: “Hey, it *does* make me look taller!”
5. They blend in (well, sort of).
4. Can you imagine how yukky their clothes were after six months? Ugh!
3. Don’t you just LOVE men in uniform (even if they’re only 4 ft tall)?
2. Pippin: “It matches colours with this nice shiny orb I found…”
And the number one reason why M & P look cool in armour:
1. Oooh! *faints*
1. You ask questions like what is a mummu and what’s going on with this
2. What’s PIN?
3. You get angry when Rosie deletes your thread & you rave on about
the fact you said nothing wrong – I mean come on
I think that Rosie chicks over exaggerating all I said was That Sean
guy isn’t really that good looking and omg he cant even act
4. You keep getting told off for not putting nt or txt at the end of
5. You post stuff like – so what’s this about pints – your all not
alcoholics now are u?
6. Did you really teach Frodo to dance?
7. What does “Those Eyes” mean
8. What did she mean by (muumuu, Gimli in fridge, smurf, goo)? nt
9. OUR RESPONSE TO A NEWBIE WHEN THEY SIGN OFF
"What is going on here?"—Pippin(Lorbg)<- lol lordbg always ask those
I don’t know “that fellow was looking for something or
“did you tell him he should try middle earth” (Stegbaggins)
Additions by Tori*Took:
~They come into Middle Earth saying, "omg! Orli bloom is so hott! what
do you think?"
~"Do I need to use Pay pal for my drinks?"
~They come to one of the boards and post IN BIG
LETTERS FOR THIER SUBJECT and the message is something like, "Hey, do
know where I can get Premier tickets?(If we did know, I'm sure they
all be bought out by now)....Is it true there isn't going to be a
attached to The Twin Towers? (asked 5 weeks after everyone here found
about it)...How come some people post in green, and others post in
(That's just a sample of the questions;-))
10 reasons why it is a good thing Pippin was not
10. Pippin probably would have made the same
mistake Little Red Riding Hood did and started picking mushrooms
(instead of flowers) along the way.
9. The Quest would have taken years because
he would have stopped to tell every Orc he met about his uncle's wife's
cousin to the fourth degree.
8. He might have lived to regret risking everything for a pint of ale.
7. He was more concerned about ash in his
tomatoes than Ring-Wraiths at Weathertop and about being hungry rather
than than lost in Moria.
6. He didn't really fall into the "people of intelligence" catagory
5. It would have taken more than throwing an apple to ward off Shelob.
4. If he had been packing the Ring through Moria, it would have gone
down that well with the Orc helmet.
3. He would have never gotten Gandalf to go with a "Fool of a Took"
carrying the Ring.
2. He didn't even know where the mission, quest, or thing was going.
1. I can just hear him saying in ROTK:
"Merry, are you sure we're supposed to cast the Ring in the volcano?
Now that I think
of it, Gandalf might have said it needed to be taken
to one of those wishing wells in Lothlorian."
- Daydream Believer
Top 10: Worst nightmares of the Fellowship
10. Galadriel giving the Hobbits Super Soakers as a parting gift.
9. Arwen following Aragorn around everywh... oh wait, that actually
8. A Cave troll, a giant squid & a big bunch of Orcs stalking
7. Boromir's midnight horn practises.
5. Seeing Gimli's beard up close.
4. Ralph Bakshi's costume designer.
2. Sauron taking over Middle-Earth and destroying all green & happy
And the very worst nightmare of the Fellowship of the Ring:
1. Legolas with Early Morning hair.
My Favourite Top Ten Samwise quotes from the book
#10 – “Eavesdropping sir? I don’t follow you, begging your pardon.
There ain’t no eaves at Bag End, and that’s a fact.”
#9 – I have something to do before the end,
and it lies ahead, not in the Shire. I must see it through sir, if you
#8 – “When ever you open your big mouth you put your foot in it the
Gaffer used to say to me, and right enough. O dear, O dear!”
#7 – “In the old days hobbits used to go on
their travels now and again. Not that many ever came back, and not all
that they said was believed: news from Bree, and not sure as Shire
talk, as the sayings go.”
#6 – “Don’t let him turn me into anything unnatural!”
#5 – “We’ve got – you’ve got some of the
light of it (Silmaril) in that star-glass the lady gave you! Why, to
think of it, we’re in the same tale still! It’s going on. Don’t the
great tales never end?”
#4 – “It wasn’t a dream!” (After waking in the Field of Cormallen)
#3 – “Well, I’m back” (Very last line, always makes me cry!_
#2 – “Is there a storm coming? If so it’s going to be the worst there
ever was.” (What a prophecy!)
(More of a conversation, but so funny)
“What’s taters, precious, eh, what’s taters?”
“Po – ta – toes. The Gaffer’s delight and
rare good ballast for an empty belly. But you won’t find any, so you
needn’t look. But be good Smeagol and fetch me those herbs, and I’ll
think better of you. What’s more, if you turn over a new leaf, and keep
it turned, I’ll cook you some taters one of these days. I will: fried
fish and chips served by S. Gamgee. You couldn’t say no to that.”
“Yes, yes we could. Spoiling nice fish, scorching it. Give me fish now,
and keep nassty chips!”
“Oh you’re hopeless”, said Sam. “Go to sleep!”
- Gimli's Goat
15 Heartbreaking Moments from The
Ok, I know we do a million of these on the board,
but I just wanted to share my favorite and most heartbreaking moments
of TTT. (In no particular order)
1. Upon hearing that the Uruks smell “man flesh”, Pippin murmurs
“Aragorn” and a ray of hope lights up his face.
2. Gimli, muttering that dwarves are wasted on distance, they are
3. Theoden weeping over Theodred’s grave
4. Haldir’s awkward return hug and little smile as Aragorn embraces him
at Helms Deep.
5. The Ent on fire running into the unleashed river and dipping himself
6. The look of helpless resignation on
Frodo’s face as he offers himself up for sacrifice to the ring and the
Nazgul who would take it from him.
7. “Its your Sam - Don’t you know your Sam?”
8. The single tear sliding down Grima’s face as he beholds the army of
9. “Forth Eorlingas!”
10. Arwen in despair at Aragorn’s side in death.
11. Legolas flipping onto Gimli’s horse
during the Warg attack AND sliding down the wall of Helm’s Deep on a
orc shield, shooting all the way. Elves Rule!
12. “There won’t BE a shire, Pippin.”
13. “I’ll have no pointy-ear outscoring me!”
14. “Looks like meat’s back on the menu, boys!!”
15. In the forest, at the end…Frodo’s face
when he says ”I want to hear more about Sam; Frodo wouldn’t have gotten
far without Sam.” And Sean Astin’s face when he says to himself,
“Samwise the Brave.”
Additions by The Foe Hammer:
When Gandalf says "Theoden King stands alone" and Eomer comes up and
says "Not alone"
Gimli in the scene with Eowyn "He fell" (literally and figuratively)
Gollum's look after Sam gives his speech.
Faramir "Then it is forfeit."
Ten Lines that Wouldn't have been Nearly as Impressive
if they'd had a Bad Cold
9. "Theh ib stih hobe."
8. "Ah wooh hab fallob you, ma brubbuh, ma capon, ma kin!"
7. "Nahn combanyahns...you sall be da Feddowsihb ob da Hween!"
6. "Thuh dwahh beeves so lowe-wee hwe couh hab shob hihm in thuh dok."
5. "You hab ma sode."
4. "Lehd theb cohm! Theh ib yed wa dwahh ib Mobia thah stih dwahs
3. "Ib a pibby Biboh dibbunt kih hib wheh he hab a chass!"
2.. "Ah am ah thuhvunt ob da theecret fahr, hweildoh ob da fwame ob
1. "Behode...thuh Ahgonahh!"
Custom LOTR Paint Colors for your Home...or
By Blob, boriel and Calafalas one night at the Pony
Matt Heathertoes Heather
Quickbeam Cream (fast drying of course)
Smeagols Shiny Sheen
Precious Purple Pleasure and Pain
Treebeard Tangerine(brought to you by Fangorn's Forest Friendly
paints) - HobbitNaga
Merry Mauve - JennanOPossums
Denethor Denim - Leggy Pants
Rosie Rose ( of course !) - Rosie Cotton
Bright Galadriel White (slightly metallic)
Earthy Samwise Brown (a shade darker than khaki)
Ooh! Khaki of Khazad-Dum!
Aubergine of Arwen
Glorfindel Gold - Lothithil
Top Ten Reasons Legolas
Spent Time Away From The Fellowship While In Caras Galadhon:
10. Sam kept eavesdropping on private conversations he had with a
9. Gimli kept asking him if he would get him Galadriel’s autograph.
8. Frodo kept sneaking up behind him while wearing the ring and saying
7. He would have starved because the hobbits kept snitching food off
his plate when he wasn’t looking.
6. Merry and Pippen wanted him to help them build a tree house.
5. He was obligated to spend time with the relatives (we’ve all been
down that road).
4. He needed to have his braids redone at the Braids-R-Us Salon.
3. He was tired of watching Frodo and Sam making faces in Galadriel’s
2. He couldn’t stand to listen to Boromir singing Three Coins in the
Fountain while in the shower.
And the number one reason Legolas spent time away from the Fellowship
while in Caras Galadhon:
1. Tolkien wrote it that way.
Top Ten Things You Should Not Give As Christmas Presents to The LOTR
10. A brightly colored Hawaiian Shirt for Gandalf.
9. An all expense paid vacation to see the Giant Redwoods for Gimli.
8. A Water Garden for Saruman’s Tower.
7. A year supply of glass cleaner for Galadriel’s Mirror.
6. A Free offer from a Dating Service for Arwen.
5. A Gift Certificate from a Sushi Restaurant for Sam.
4. A Gold Crown for Aragorn (he still doesn’t want to be the King).
3. A Gift Certificate to a Weight Loss Clinic for all the Hobbits.
2. A Toy Bow and Arrows (with the suction cup ends) for Legolas.
1. A Gold Ring for Frodo.