Top Tens for Lorien

Top Ten Things One Shouldn’t Do While in Lothlórien

10. Leaving large divots in the Lawn’s grassy surface after practicing tee shots.

09. Carving your initials and those of your girlfriend’s inside a heart on the trunk of a mallorn tree.

08. Putting goldfish into the Lady Galadriel’s Mirror.

07. Yelling “ORCS!” in a crowd.

06. Trying to sell replicas of the One Ring.

05. Putting bubble bath into the Lady Galadriel’s Mirror.

04. Toilet papering the mallorn trees.

03. Holding an impromptu Lembas bread eating contest.

02. Skinny-dipping in Lady Galadriel’s Mirror.

01. Mistaking Lord Celeborn for the Lady Galadriel.

- Dinledhwen

Top Ten Alternate Uses for the Phial       
So, this amazing Lady gives Frodo a beautiful phial, with the light of Earendil in it. What she doesn't say is that she buys them in bulk because they are so handy to have around. After all, she can...

10. Juggle them.

9. Mix them with oil and vinegar to use with her summer specialty, Glowing Mallorn Salad.

8. Dangle them from the trees for "atmosphere" at her barbecues.

7. Hold one underneath her chin at night while making spooky noises to frighten the younger Elves.

6. Use them to attract moths to use for e-mail messages (Eagle-Mail, that is...)

5. Playing 'Bobbing for Baubles' in the Mirror at late night parties. A real hoot, especially when an Elf manages to get one and his cheeks light up all pink.

4. Drink it. Packs a real wallop if you drink it, and has er... interesting side-effects a couple hours later.

3. After one is empty, she can insert a couple pebbles and use it for a maraca.

2. Use them for nightlights.

1. Insert two phials up Celeborn's nose while he is sleeping to mute his nasal whistling.

- Primula