Top Tens for Haldir
Top Ten Things Haldir Wants for Christmas
10. A new letter opener for all this fan mail.
9. Dwarf repellent.
8. That bow Galadriel gave to Legolas. "Geez that was nice."
7. Stronger back plate for his battle armor. (might come in handy, perhaps some of that mithril stuff.)
6. Better directions to the Grey Havens next time. "I think we took the hard way."
5. Any Lembas recipes you might have. "You try spending thousands of years eating the same traveling food!"
4. A brief explanation of what Arwen sees in "Mr. Elessar" that he doesn't have.
3. Orc Blood Stain Remover (They ruin all his nicest tunics.)
2. An Elvish-Dwarvish Dictionary. "I still want to know what that Gimli fellow said about me."
And the number one item Haldir wants for Christmas.
1. What's Christmas?
- The Foe Hammer
13. Sun-glasses for his time in the spot-light
12. A ticket back to Middle-earth on GwaihirAirLines from Mandos, (first-class hero accomodations)
11. A new cloak... (NOT red this time, please!)
Top Ten Reasons that Haldir led the Elves to Helm's Deep
10. His compass was broken.
9. The map was upside-down.
8. The "Free Beer & Lembas" signs all pointed that way.
7. To ask for directions. In Elvish.
6. He had been told they would meet their marching band there.
5. To get Theoden's autograph.
4. To tour the ruins and take pictures of each other on the battlements.
3. To look for cleaner restrooms. (There was a severe shortage of Elf-worthy bushes)
2. It was the next stop on their choir tour.
1. They were just stopping in to visit on their way to the beach.