Top Tens for Ents

Top Ten Things Not to Buy an Ent
10. A lighter
9. A new table from Classic Oak Designs
8. Toothpicks
7. A framed picture of Saruman
6. A whittling knife
5. A Log Cabin
4. A “Bend Your Way to Fitness” Exercise Video
3. The Complete Encyclopedia of Abbreviations
2. A Lumberjack Hat

And the Number One

1. An abridged version of anything! (Too hasty)

-The Foe Hammer

Additional suggestions made:

A Termite Farm. – Doctor Gamgee
A volume of Foe’s poems about cutlery. – May Gamgee
A bottle of No-Doz. – Primula

Top Ten Things You Wouldn’t Ask an Ent

10. C’mon, think! Is your head made of wood?
9. Can’t you speed it up a bit, Bud?
8. Got a whetstone anywhere handy?
7. Are you always this old-fashioned?
6. Don’t you love the smell of fresh wood shavings?
5. Nothing like a nice warm campfire, hm?
4. I always wanted to live in a log cabin, how about you?
3. Hurry up – you think I’ve got all day?
2. Hey Shorty, got a light?


1. You know, if you cleared this it would be great farmland, wouldn’t it?

- Primula, Bluebell & TrebleMaker

Additional suggestions:

Could y’give me a hand with this axe? – May Gamgee
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? – Laerindae