LOTR Superflous Word Play, Proverbs and Slogans

Started by Erech the Undead, with Arthur, Bonnie Half-Elven, Daughter of Kings, Dinledhwen, Eruvanne, Firiel, Icarus, Lady of Light, Ladyhawk Baggins, Lindorie, Lothithil, onónë , pi, Primula, Mr. Underhill

I can't remember where I heard it, but I like it. Then again, I like bad puns and silly word play in general.
''God helps those who help them elves''

"Hobbits are hard to break!"

Technically, shouldn't that be ''bad hobbits are hard to break''...?...or, from an Orc's point of view:
''Fat hobbits are hard to bake''...!!...(yikes)...

One good Turin deserves another.

Better safe than Sauron

Where there's smoke, there's Shire. (from the Longbottom leaf).

The Boy Who Cried Warg

Neither a Gollum nor a Smeagol be.

.. And to continue the quote:
This above all, to thine own Elf be true, and it must follow, as night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.

Nothing Adventured, nothing maimed.

Nothing is certain except Dwarves and axes.

Que' Sauron, Sauron...

well, spank you all very much

Here today, Gondor tomorrow.'

Where there's smoke, there's pyre.

Love with a proper Ranger

When a Ranger calls

Mother may I sleep with Ranger?  (...danger...made for Lifetime w/ Tori Spelling. One of the worst movie titles ever.)

An Uruk favorite:
Eat, drink, and beat Merry (ouch)

Props to Galadrial:  A Witch in time saves Nine..

The King has left the building
(Aragorn rides to Mordor in a white jumpsuit)

As dead as a Frodo (er, dodo, sorry..)

You've got to keep both orcs in the water

Orc, the other white meat

Pull a hobbit out of the hat

My mommy told me to never talk to Rangers.

Geico, so easy an Orc can do it.

It can be tough to make Ents meet.

Never judge a Ranger by his cover!

A long journey begins with a single Stride(r).

Ring around the Rosie....

Spray Nine, it removes dirt and Grima on contact.

Baywatch of Belfalas...........


I don't know whether to be mad at you Orthanc you......

''Ranger, Ranger Will Robinson''..!!..

(sing)..''Would you like to try an Orcsca Meyer weiner?''

Treebeard:   ''Hasty makes wastey''

(sing)..''Just a spoon-full of sugar helps the Legolas go down, the Legolas go down, the Legolas go down''...

What goes up.......must Barrow Down..

Two wrongs don't make a Barrow Wight.......

Beren there, Durin that......

Mordor she wrote

Mordor in the first degree

Mordor on the Orient express

Mordor most foul

A Mordor of crows

Mordor my sweet

A slight case of Mordor

( Everyone stay away from Erech! He has Mordor on his mind!)

"Always mind your Eldars! "

"Good night, sweet peredhil... and flights of Eagles bring thee to thy rest..."

Old Hobbits die hard.

Orly to bed, Orly to rise, makes a man Elfy, wealthy, and wise...

Merry Christmas......  (I know, I'm really reaching here....)

Merry Merry Quite Contrary....How Does Farmer Maggot's Garden Grow?


Merry had a little lamb...

I was devastated, Treebeard told me my point was moot.

If it's not one ring, it's another.

Eat, drink, and be Merridoc...

An apple a day keeps the Dark Lord away..

A Rosie by any other name, would smell like feet..

In the realm of the blind, the One-Ringed man is King....(lame)...

It's not whether you Eowyn or lose, It's how you play the game that counts.

You cant pick your Faramir but you can pick your Frodos.

A Pippin a day keeps the DarkLord at bay!

Early to bed and early to rise
makes a man healthy, wealthy, and Samwise!

You bet your mearas!

Ioreth my case.

All of a sudden we came to an Orc in the road.

Wow, look at the Smaug in the air today!

The nurse was going to take my height, weight, do blood work and get a Hurin sample.

Finally, there's a light at the end of the tunnel, and it isn't an orc with a torch.