Top Ten Lists About LOTR Obsession 3

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Contents of this page:

40 some Signs of Obsession
Top Ten Signs You have seen The Two Towers Trailer TOO many times!

You know you've seen LOTR too many times when

10 Step LOTR CM Program

Top 11 Signs The Prancing Pony Really DOES have Power Over Your Mind!

Top 11 list of ways I know that I just might be getting addicted to The Prancing Pony!!

Top 10 LOTR obsessions at the Work Place
Top 10 signs you're addicted to LOTR
You Know You're a Tolkienite If...
The Middle Earth Diet
10 Steps to Insanity
Top Ten Signs you are a Lord of the Rings Fanatic
Talk Gently and Hit Hard
Top Ten Signs That You’re Suffering From ROTK Withdrawal Symptoms


40 some Signs of Obsession

You know you're obsessed with Lord Of The Rings when...

1) You've read all three books more than ten times.

2)Since you've seen the first one of the three LOTR movies you're listening to Enya all day long.

3)You think it is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt for so small a thing.

4)Words like "Yrch" make sense to you.

5)You dedicate all your free time to learning Sindarin or another Tolkien language.

6)You know when Durin IV lived.

7)You've become strangely obsessed with mushrooms.

8)Whenever you close a door, you say "They have a cave troll!"

9)When you come to a dead end you're still convinced that the road goes ever on and on.

10)There's a sign on your door saying "Speak Friend and enter!"

11)Whenever you get a chance, you burst into song. Preferably one that has more than 20 verses.

12)The only map you can read is the one of Middle Earth.

13)You're starting to make strange hissing noises when you speak and call all your possessions "my precious".

14)You change your name by deed poll to a Tolkien character and seriously consider naming your children after LOTR characters.

15)You have more than thirty sets of the books - and several are in languages you can't read.

16)You buy the bookmark with "the one ring" tied to the tassel, and then wear the ring around and pretend to be invisible.

17)Every time you see birds in the sky you have the urge to say "Fly you fools!"

18)When someone knocks on your door you grab them, pull them inside and ask "Are you frightend?... Not nearly frightend enough!"

19)You try to walk on top of snow like the elves do.

20)You think about getting toupees for your feet.

21)You have made up names for all the nameless characters in the movie, like various hobbits at Bilbo's party or the elves at the Council of Elrond.

22)You are able to reenact the whole movie in character.

23)Your computer's screensaver is a marquee reading, "Ennyn Durin atan Moria: pedo mellon a mino" and the password is actually "mellon".

24)You print out the whole movie script and religiously study it.

25)You've highlighted all your favorite parts of the books, and your highlighter has ran out of ink.

26)You have a special clock that always tells you how many days, hours, and minutes are still left until the next part of the movies opens in theaters.

27)The last five times you went to see the movie, you only went to see the preview trailer.

28)All day you hear words such as 'habit' and 'going', in your mind as 'hobbit' and 'Gollum'.

29)Whenever you see a tree you give it a hug and say "Hail Treebeard!".

30)You grow long hair and tie it back, and prance around delicately - and you are male.

31)You get someone to shoot you with 3 arrows, just so you can reenact Boromir's death scene.

32)You start to put 'elvish' down as your religion.

33)You cannot see a beer without blurting out "It comes in pints? I'm getting one!"

34)You manage to bring the words 'hobbits' and 'Mirkwood' into every sentence.

35)Your friends instantly know you are going to say something about LotR even before you open your mouth.

36)You get a long blond wig and give yourself an elvish name.

37)You just can't keep yourself from saying "nobody tosses a Dwarf" at inappropriate moments.

38)You point out one word differences between speech in the film and in the book.

39)You notice everyone else goes "aaaahhh" at the same time when Legolas gets off his horse.

40)You're certain that tiny bits have changed since the eighth time you've seen the movie.

41)You have organized your bookmarks into subcategories "elvish" and "Legolas".

42)You devote free time to drawing sketches of LotR characters from the various posters around your room, then realise you don't need the poster, you know the faces off by heart.

43)A shadow and a threat is growing in your mind.

44)You stayed up 'til 5am watching the Oscars (in the UK) and threw things at the screen when Ron Howard/Russell Crowe/Jennifer Connelly appeared.

45)You go to lordoftherings.net and spend hours refreshing the page, just to hear the actors say "Hello, I'm Elijah Wood (or whatever). Welcome to lordoftherings.net"

46)You start saying "a star shines on the hour of our meeting."

47)You're determined to refresh lordoftherings.net until you discover how to pronounce 'Viggo'.

- Pale Niphredil

Top Ten Signs You have seen The Two Towers Trailer TOO many times!

10. While listening to the soundtrack, instead of visualizing Gandalf lighting the hallways in Moria, you visualize Aragorn picking up Pippin's cloak clasp.
9. You wonder why drum beats aren't part of the soundtrack.
8. You wonder why you never noticed that Legolas's eyes GLOW IN THE DARK.
7. You start to think Grima Wormtongue is kinda hot.
6. While listening to the soundtrack, you try to skip between tracks fast enough to replicate the music from the trailer.
5. Since drumbeats are not part of the soundtrack you buy a drum to beat while skipping between tracks.
4. You start to think Treebeard is kinda hot.
3. The amount of time you've spent watching the trailer adds up to the amount of time you would spend actually watching the movie.
2. You start to wonder if Pippin thinks Treebeard is hot.
1. You begin to think you have already seen The Two Towers and start to freak out when the movie coming out this Christmas isn't "Return of the King"

- Rayvah

You know you've seen LOTR too many times when

...you start referring to your mates as your 'Fellowship' and insisting that you have epic adventures.
...you stand in the doorway and tell your cat that he 'Can not pass'.
...you wash your face in the sink and expect to see things that are, that have been or that will be.
...your wedding band starts to weigh you down with it's evil powers.
...you start drawing ancient maps with directions for going down the shops, complete with roaring dragons and vicious sub-species of dwarves.
...you walk around the house on your knees, seeing what it'd be like to be a Hobbit.
...you start adding a colour to the end of your name, ie Joe the Off-White.
...start thinking about the distance to the shops in terms of leagues and fathoms.
...you start referring to things as being 'precious', or even worse, 'Preciousss'.
...you stop outside your house and wonder what the password is to get inside.
- Meriadoc

10 Step LOTR CM Program

Step 10 buy charter membership for Son
Step 09 buy charter membership for self
Step 08 lurk on the middle earth board
Step 07 establish a handle
Step 06 post a newbie message. and ask what MBO means.
Step 05 pick up a sponge on the pony board
Step 04 post first sponge tale
Step 03 post silly songs
Step 02 meet SauronPC and put Gimili in the fridge
Step 01 drink multi-colored goop at 11 o'clock at night...

(10 step CM Program sans Kids)
Step 10 buy charter membership for self
Step 09 buy The LOTR Official Movie guide
Step 08 lurk on the middle earth board
Step 07 establish a handle
Step 06 post a newbie message. and ask what MBO mean.
Step 05 pick up a sponge on the pony board
Step 04 post first sponge tale
Step 03 post silly songs
Step 02 meet SauronPC and put Gimili in the fridge
Step 01 drink multi-colored goop at 11 o'clock at night...

Either way after step 10 you are totally addicted..

The 10-step program becomes 13…

11 you begin wearing muu’muus
12 you start keeping sponges in your vehicle
on the off chance you might meet a hobbit.
13 you start arranging meetings with other ringers

Okay how about an even 20

14 you learn to fly without wings
15 you purchase LOTR Cd, and play non-stop
16 you purchase Balrog Litho for Son, who just has to have one
17 you start getting other friends to join you on the boards
since they can’t reach you on the phone
18 you think your shower singing is actually improving
19 your typing skills improve by leaps and bounds
20 your home starts resembling Bag-End

- Dandy


Top 11 Signs The Prancing Pony Really DOES have Power Over Your Mind!

11. You have a large suply of blue, orange, purple, and pink muu muus stuffed into your closet.
10. You give up cathalocism when you realize you could never give up The Board for lent.
9. You spill some blue paint in the painstore becuase you are rushing to get back home so you can get back on The Pony. “Oh!” You cry. “Blue Goo!” And look around for Goldberry.
8. Your BF calls to propose, and you pick up the phone and yell “Would you please be quiet? I am trying to read Primula’s poem!”
7. Your BF calls to propose, and you don’t even notice the phone ringing.
6. The little black letters on your keyboard all rub off, and you don’t even notice because you don’t need them anyway.
5. When you make a coment to one of your friends, you carefully gage whether or not it would fit in the subject line, and are sure to add txt, or nt.
4. There is a tea towel on the top of your computer and sponges covering the desk.
3. Your cell phone sits in a little box on your mantle piece, and every time it rings, you jump up and start chanting: “One ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all, and in The Cell Phone bind them, in the Phone book where the shadows lie!!” And repeat until it stops.
2. You cancel your New Zealand trip because it overlaps Kareoke night, and you’ve been working on that new song for weeks!
1. Your significant other decides to break up w/ you because of the fight you got into when they tried to get on the computer. (garsh! You didn’t mean to bite him that hard! But he was trying to take... Your preeeeeciiiiioooouuuusssss!!!) *snirkle*

- Melkor's Sister

Top 11 list of ways I know that I just might be getting addicted to The Prancing Pony!!

11. I have an entire folder devoted to writings about The PP.
10. Friday and Saturday I am fasting for 30 hours, and goin to be w/ other people who are also fasting. I am not worried about the lack of food (I've done it before, it's quite easy) but I am VERY worried about the 30 hours - weekend hours mind you - that I will be kept away from The PP
9. I've seriously considered crying sick and staying home from other obligations so I can spend more time at The PP.
8. The impossible has actually happened! *snirkle* has actually slipped out in a conversation.
7. At a concert I played in Monday, I was so busy planning a song for karaoke that I actually dropped my bow in the middle of one of my peices. (I play cello)
6. When I dropped my bow at that concert, all I could think of was 'ok, now how can I work this into a top 11 list?'
5. I've seriously considered paying for a third phone line just so no one can kick me off the internet so they can use it. (but I skipped this idea because I just can't admit to everyone that I am so pathetically adicted)
4. Suddenly, months of no work or nothing else to do besides sit around the house sounds like alot of fun! (internet!!)
3. I might become anarexic because I might miss a post if I got up to get food.
2. I've actually tried to concoct some goo in my blender, just so I can feel like I'm really "there"!!!
1. I love writting. All my spair time (of which I have SO MUCH :-) I devote to writting my books. Now it's all devoted to writting songs, poems, "Tales from The Prancing Pony", and top 11 lists!! :-)

- Melkor's Sister

Top 10 LOTR obsessions at the work place.

10. You volunteer to go to the deep, dark, dank basement to get the files just on the chance you may find a gold ring lying around.
9. At staff meetings you keep muttering "never trust a lawyer"
8. You go down to the donut shop for second breakfests and elevensy.
7. You sometimes answer your phone "Mr. Bagi...I mean Underhill".
6. You refer to your boss' door as Barad-Dur.
5. You are secretly breeding roaches, rats and the neighborhood cat in an abandoned mudpit.
4. Although you don't smoke you go down where all the smokers hang out ask if anyone has some good southfarthing weed.
3. Although you have a fine staff working under you, you call Kelly temps and tell them to have a replacement just in case you lose yours in a fight or as you cross a bridge....
2. You hire the next applicant that comes in named Rosie(or orlando or elijah...take your pic)
1. When someone says they are going to send you an email, you say no send me a "shadowFAX".

- Thomas Covenant



Top 10 signs you're addicted to LOTR.

10. Spending $35 at the grocery store seems expensive but its Perfectly fine to spend $70 on the Hardcover LOTR book with Alan Lee Illustrations.

9. You start Keeping a LOTR Journal to write poems and inklings in.

8. You face every difficult decision with the thought “now what would Gandalf advise me to do?"

7. You know what Entmoot, Ent draught, or an Ent is for that matter

6. You’ve gained 20 pounds because you’ve started eating a “Second Breakfast”

5. You begin to refer to family & friends as “precioussssss”

4. A walking stick….you never leave home with out it.

3. The last time you went grocery shopping all you purchased was mushrooms, Taters, Ale and pipeweed.

2. You spend hours walking the local forest preserve looking for Wood Elves.


1. Every time you leave your house you announce to your family you’re going on a Mission, Quest, Thing!
- Lizmybit


You know you’re a Tolkienite if…

• You speak a Tolkien Language
• You take extreme offense if someone pronounces anything from Tolkien’s works wrong
• You find an unbearable attraction to short people
• You use Tolkien quotes in everyday language
• Tolkien’s works have had a great affected on the way you speak (i.e., when introducing yourself you say it like “I am Meghan, daughter of Michael, will you aid me or thwart me? Choose swiftly!” or “Even Gandalf would be impressed with these fireworks!”
• You’ve considered plastic surgery for your ears
• you are growing your hair as long as possible to be more like the elves
• you stopped wearing shoes
• you talk to trees
• you’ve memorized poems and songs from Tolkien’s works
• when watching the movie you talk along with it
• you have intense debates about things concerning mystery’s about Tolkien’s works (i.e. Balrog wings, Legolas’s hair color…)
• you dream of living in a hole
• your convinced you will only ever marry an elf
• you can’t imagine how you ever survived before discovering Tolkien’s works
• you’ve called your best friend “Samwise”
• you’ve called your dad “me ol’ Gaffer”
• you’re friends and family have commented on your obsession
• you can’t go a day without mentioning Tolkien
• you want to be a Ranger when you grow up
• you’ve mastered the art of Gollum impressionism
• your convinced you’re worst enemy is a spy of Sauron
• when you see a common stereotype such as elves being short you wont stop complaing and have even been known to throw potatoes at the television
• you absolutely LOVE mushrooms!
• You’ve refered to yourseld as being “like butter, scraped over too much bread”
• you’ve played “Lord of the onion rings”
• you wonder if your rings are magic rings of power
• you’ve thrown your wedding ring into the fire to see if runes will appear
• you’ve gone on, or considered going on, a journey to find the Entwives
• you look for Earendil in the night sky
• when someone hurts you, you find yourself shouting “The vengeance of the house of Hador will find you yet!”
• you’ve looked into every birdbath you know of to try and see the possibilities of the future
• you refer to meetings as “the council of :your bosses name:”
• you’ve dressed up for, or have serious plans to dress up for, any of the movie releases
• you notice your family seems to be embarrassed of you in public
• you notice your wardrobe is starting to reflected Tolkien’s works
• you throw an annual birthday party for Bilbo and Frodo on September 22nd
- Katz


The Middle Earth Diet
...forget the Atkins diet this is the one for us.

1. Go to fanclub shop. Buy up all the Legolas, Frodo and Aragorn posters.

2. Go to fridge. Select most drool-inducing poster of Legolas and pin it on the door. Forget lunch. In fact, forget breakfast,lunch and dinner.

3. Go to tv. Select most drool-inducing poster of Aragorn, preferably the new one from ROTK. Pin it over tv where you gnaw all sorts of goodies while watching dvds of LOTR. How could you even contemplate choccy under that stern green-eyed gaze?

4. Return to kitchen. Select most heart-stopping pic of starving Frodo and pin in position where it can be easily seen even at night when you raid the fridge without putting on the kitchen light. Make sure the fridge light hits it so the whole room looks like a still from Shelob's Cave just as you are about to dive into the Ben and Jerries.

5. Purchase Weight-On or practice wheeling drip stand around the house....

Happy dieting....
- Varda



10 Steps to Insanity

1) Purchase the One Ring

2) Hang the One ring on silver chain around neck

3) Wear it everywhere as international badge of Ringer recognition

4) Get upset when R-W people ask to look at your new ‘jewellery’

5) Refuse to wear ring (Don’t want to draw the Dark Lord to you)

6) Insist that you are joking when you start calling it ‘the Precious’

7) Blind panic when you can’t find the Ring. Realise that fed-up husband/friend/daughter has hidden it as a joke. “Tricksy!” you yell.

8) You begin to clutch it when you are sleeping (in case of burglars, naturally)

9) As the release date for the next film draws near, you can actually feel the ring getting heavier.

10) You do a number of peculiar things during TT:
- Grab hold of the Ring any time Gollum is on-screen
- Actually cower in your seat as you feel a great Eye searching..
- Fight the impulse to wear the Precious when the Nazgul come.


Yes, I've done all of them! Some day soon...
I'll be strong enough to challenge Sauron, and instead of a Dark Lord you will have A DARK GOAT, MIGHTIEST OF ALL GOATS ON MIDDLE-EARTH!!
*Heavy breathing* No, I have passed the test. I will fade, and go into the barn....
- Gimli's Goat



TOP TEN SIGNS YOU ARE A “LORD OF THE RINGS” FANATIC
(And I am proud to be one)

10. You have this list or a similar one posted in your office/home.
9. Your pet name for your guy is Legolas/Aragorn or for your gal is Arwen/Eowyn.
8. You constantly call everyone “My Preciousssss.”
7. You apply Rogaine to your feet.
6. You throw your ring into the fireplace to see if there are any runes on it.
5. You are caught on more than one occasion talking to trees.
4. You go on a six month hike taking only bread and rope.
3. Instead of pepper spray you pack a glass bottle filled with water and scream, “Aiya Earendil !!”
2. You legally change your name to Strider and hang around taverns pestering short people.
1. You have already purchased your ticket to Trilogy Tuesday and bargained with your boss for leave-time.
- anironlegolas


Talk Gently And Hit Hard.


As I always wear my Ringwraiths t-shirt and the Rohan horse amulet I got at Ringcon I suppose I was daft to think the eagle-eyed staff in my cinema had not noticed me about a lot. But when I went to the box office today to buy a ticket for ROTK the kid behind the till said;
'Just how many times have you seen this film?'
'Er...about eighteen times'
'Eight??' he repeated incredulously.
'No, eighteen...'
'EIGHTEEN TIMES!' he yelled, then leaned back and said to the other staff;
'She's seen this film eighteen times!'
'It is not the record...' I said modestly. He inquired;
'And do you still like it?'

'Oh just clobber him' said Brunhilde, jogging my elbow. 'Do what Faramir does, talk gently and hit hard...' 
- Varda

"Do you still like it" "No, I just come here because the popcorn is so good. What do you put on it?"
"No, I come here because I'm homeless and this gives me over 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep"
"No, I just come here because if I didn't the theatre chain would lose money and you'd be out of your job."
"No, I just come here because I'm learning to speak Middle Earthish/Elvish /Dwarvish"
"No, but there's nothing else playing nearby"
"No, I'm still trying to catch on to what's going on with that story. I think I'm beginning to get it."
"No, I'm still trying to pick up the secret signal from the Mother Ship"
"No, but I have the biggest case of the hots for you!! C'mere, little man, come to mama"
"No, I don't remember it. You must have me confused with someone else. This happens a lot since they let me out of the hospital two years ago, after that accident."
"No, my reset button must be stuck again."
"No, I'm a purist and I just want to see if anything's changed since the last time."

Ah, heck, maybe Bruny's approach is the simplest and most effective...
- anborn1
Or..I've lost a ring in the cinema and I like searching in the dark

Or; my house is infested with Mice with bows and arrows and I am hiding out here.

Or; I'm an Elf learning English

Or; I can't remember where I live

Or; I am doing a class project

Or; I have a ring fetish

Or; I am hiding from the Special Branch - they'd never look here!

Or; (the most unlikely of all!) I am a member of the Lord of The Rings Fan Club!
- Varda
Or...I've decided to take up residence, but I want to make sure I really like this place first. What more could one ask? Lots of sitting places, very helpful for writing, though the dark is a problem but one needs lots of rest, and plenty of food and drink. What more does one need? Never did I imagine such things, before these last few years...
- Ladyhawk
I get that reaction everytime I go back as well...On my 13th time the guy in the box office let me in for free!
- Strideress




Top Ten Signs That You’re Suffering From ROTK Withdrawal Symptoms:

10. You keep counting the days until the DVD is released.
09. You keep counting the days until the DVD is released.
08. You keep counting the days until the DVD is released.
07. You keep counting the days until the DVD is released.
06. You keep counting the days until the DVD is released.
05. You keep counting the days until the DVD is released.
04. You keep counting the days until the DVD is released.
03. You keep counting the days until the DVD is released.
02. You keep counting the days until the DVD is released.

And finally the number 1 sign is:
01. You keep counting the days until the DVD is released.
- Dinledhwen