Top Ten Lists About LOTR Obsession 2
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Contents of this page:
Top Ten signs you need a reality check
Top Ten Signs I Spend Too Much Time Here
Top 11 (always wondered why everything is 10) ways you can know you are obsessed w/ LoTR
You know LOTR is getting in the way of your school work when
Yet Another Top Ten of Reasons why you know you are addicted to LotR (and Billy Boyd)
Top Ten Signs You Might be a Fan
10 ways I Know I like LOTR too Much
The Top Ten Signs You May Need to Get Out More
You Know You Are Addicted when...
Top Ten Signs You're Turning into a LOTR Character
Top 10 one-word things fans will do after seeing the movie tonight.
Top Ten last minute things to do before ROTK
Top Ten signs you need a reality check
10. You camp outside the home of your neighbor who looks like Lij,
then peek around the corner to see if GB and Dandy are there.
9.You have attempted to dress your hamster in a muumuu.
8.You are convinced that there *really is* a parallel universe..its called the Decipher Boards.
7.If someone drops crumbs on the floor you freak out shrieking "Pick it up now! i dont want any Smurfs!"
6.You insist that your friend "Rosie" is sharing a jail cell with Sean Astin.
5.When you go see *it* for the 1000th time, you expect to hear "without oants" added to everything..
4.You keep extra spnges and muumuus in your closet.
3.You carry around a dishtowel, insisting that you bear the Tea Towel of Power.
2.You greet everyone you meet with "Well Met! How about a pint?"
And the number one sign that you need a reality check is.....
1. Your mother *spouse/roomie/whatever* wonders at the excessive
amount of men's underwear *Fruit of the Mines brand no less*
in your laundry and you excalim "But its Gimli's!"
- LilBaggins
Top Ten Signs I Spend Too Much Time Here
10. When I accidnetly hit Caps Lock on my keyboard the other day,
I muttered "Sauron, leave me be!"
9.The majority of my friends don't have names, they have handles
*StefBaggins, Fool for a Took...etc*
8.I have actually referred to myself as LilBit
7.I have a "Prancing Pony" section on the contact lists of my
various screen names *family,friends,PP*
6.When my sister came home with new sponges I thought
"Great! Extras!"
5.Driving down the road I saw a group of people gathered near the
curb talking. My first thought? "Party at Old Gaffer's mailbox!"
4.My niece asked if I was thirsty. I told her "no thanks..I just
had a pint of wacky-juice"
3.My mom asked why it is so important to post my Fellowship Tales
here ASAP..I said "I have to know what Primula thinks!"
2.I begged my sister's fiance to give me his extra signed Dom
card, b/c "Stef would love it!" *Darn Stef..I didnt get it..I
tried though..:-(*
1.Instead of laughing properly, I have taken to saying "snirkle"
- LilBaggins
Top 11 (always wondered why everything is 10) ways you can know you are obsessed w/ LoTR
11. You know The LoTR history better then your family history.
10. When you get mad, it's not 'oh ya? I'll get my bf to kick
your....." it's "I'll get gimli to kick your....."
9. You've replaced all your family photos w/ LoTR character's photos.
8. You have a mouse named Frodo, a bird named Gollum, and a dog
named Gandalf. And that cat that keeps coming around to be petted
is Legolas.
7. You know elvish better then english.
6. Whenever something goes wrong, it's Sauron's fault.
5. When you sing in the shower, it's always about Gil-Galad or hobbit walking songs...
4. You know everything about Middle Earth geography, but you can't
get someone from your house to the ice cream parlor (ben&jerry
:-) Now the nearest movie theater, that is a different story.
3. You shout "Mellon!" at any door you can't get open.
2. You think the names of the 7 dwarves from Snow White are: Gimli,
Gloin, Thorin, Gili, Nili, Ori, and Bambour.
1. When your BF kneels down on the floor and presents you with a
ring, you look up and solomly say "I will take The Ring, and bear
it as long as it is mine to bear." Then go quickly over and throw
it into the fireplace.
- Melkor's Sister
You know LOTR is getting in the way of your school work when
- Your teacher gives you a really hard essay to write and you say:
"Not with 10,000 hours could I do this!"
- In Chemistry you spend your whole time at the back of the
class with a bunsen burner trying to forge the 'one ring'.
- In Geography you spend hours looking through the atlas for
'The Shire' in order to show your friends where you are holidaying
next year!
- In PE doing the 1500 metres... you are at the back... suddenly
you grab hold of the person in front of you, kneel down before
them and say: "I would have gone with you to the end"...before
collapsing.
- In Biology you try to research hobbit genetic crosses in
order to find that elusive gene resposible for those really hairy
feet.
- In Ecology you nag your teacher for classification books
in order to find "kingsfoil" as your dog has swallowed your BK
Nazgul figure!
- Your French teacher shouts at you, as you read your presentation
on French schools systems in Quenya by mistake.
- In the library 'The Red Book- (your guide to the dewey
decimal system)' mysteriously acquires a sticker saying 'of
Westermarch'
- In Music when asked for a compostion you hand in "Concerning
Hobbits" harmonised in the style of a Bach chorale.
- In Food Technology everything you cook contains mushrooms:
Mushroom Crispies, Fruit Salad with added mushroom, Chocolate
Mushroom cake...
- In Psychology instead of writing Token Economy you write Tolkien!!!
- Instead of doing school work you spend your time composing
LOTR lists! (a 'lil too close to the truth!!)
- by Rowan and Lady of the Laiquendi
Yet Another Top Ten of Reasons why you know you are addicted to LotR (and Billy Boyd)
10) You cannot throw away the packaging for your Pippin &
Merry action figures (even though you have cut out the picture
of them both) simply because it's Lord of the Rings, and you just
can't make yourself throw it in the bin.
9) You have an Orc prismatic foil card from Topps resting against
your computer speaker in full view, even though you think the orcs
are ugly and icky.
8) You have seen the film ten times by now and fully intend to go
again every week until you can't anymore, despite thinking after
the first viewing that you'd 'probably make it to about three,
maybe four viewings.'
7) You keep tabs on every award ceremony, no matter how minor,
to see if our film got any, even though in previous years you
didn't even care about the Oscars.
6) You are seriously trying to talk your boyfriend into growing his
hair, because it's curly and you think he'd make a great hobbit.
5) You spend the entire evening on hormone overload, only because
DiamondTook showed you an exceptionally cute picture of Billy.
4) You seriously consider buying another Merlin sticker album,
just to go through the excitement and fun again of opening a packet
of stickers and carefully sticking them in.
3) You seriously consider buying more packets of Topps cards,
even though you already have the entire set and loads of doubles,
just for the chance that you might get Billy's autograph in it. And
yes, you know how small the odds are for that.
2) You walked all across town on a gigantic Lord of the Rings
shopping spree, spending far more money than you want to think about
and ending in you making a shop get their last hobbit mug out of
the window display, because they were the only ones who had it.
1) You go all mushy and wobbly-kneed every time you hear someone speak
with a Scottish accent, regardless of whether it's Billy or not.
- Loanshark
Top Ten signs you might be a fan
10. When introducing yourself, you almost tell your handle.
9. You talk about the actors with their nick names with people you've just met.
8. You can tell which hobbit is which without mixing them.
7. You can't remember last time you've been in the movie theatre so often...
6. You're friends are coming to see you on a holiday when you have
absolutely nothing to do, and you feel quilty about it because it
decreases the time you can spend on boards!
5. You find yourself speaking "boardish" - even when you're not speaking English...
4. You spend more time on boards than you sleep
3. You keep telling you're friends you met Legolas/Aragorn/Sam/Frodo last night at the bar
2. You can't go to see LOTR because it's sold out and you're extremely happy 'bout it!
1. You have never before been able to quote a book or a movie, now - just ask!!
10 ways I know I like LOTR too much
1. Almost every website I visit is about Tolkien or Lord of the Rings.
2. The two cds I mainly listen to are the soundtrack from FOTR,
and the Starlit Jewel, music inspired by LOTR.
3. I have copied almost all the poetry from LOTR into a special book.
4. I learned how to write the inscriptrion from the Ring in Elvish script. (Seriously!)
5. I have developed my own special Tolkien handwriting. "a firm, flowing script..."
6. I'm halfway through "In Dreams" or "May It Be" before I realize I'm singing.
7. I catch myself thinking costantly about LOTR news updates (DVD
updates, TTT updates). "Mom, can I use the internet again? I just
thought of something else....."
8. I nearly have a nervous breakdown before the mail comes in the
morning, then after it comes - without my membership packet......
9. I know nearly as much about the history of Middle Earth as I do American history.
10. And as for these message boards......I am thinking of them,
thinking of them always, my thoughts are bent on them.
- Firiel
THE TOP TEN SIGNS YOU MAY NEED TO GET OUT MORE
10. Your red contact lenses are currently on backorder.
9. You mistakenly invited some friends to a place called "The Boards"
insisting that "they have great pints!"
8. Purple goo, silly string, duct tape, and a blender bring to mind
something other than wild college parties.
7. You have ordered a custom-made mumu from the local tailor. (You
don't want to get caught wearing one of those dreadful rental mumus
again!)
6. You have turned down numerous Friday night invitations to debut
your parody of Cheap Trick's "I Want You to Want Me"-which you have
been working on all week.
5. You keep a large bucket of sponges next to your computer. When
asked to explain yourself, you reply that if they ever heard you
impersonating Cheap Trick, they'd want a large bucket of sponges
too.
4. You'll stake your reputation on the fact that 'the Nazgul who
say "NI"' are original LotR characters, and you don't care how many
manuscripts you have to go through to prove it.
3. Whenever you come across a commonly used phrase you feel the
need to either a.) condense it into an acronym, or b.) translate it
into Quenya.
2. You insist that you are extremely adept at dancing the mambo
while rolling on the floor. Nevermind that no one in their right
mind would ever actually attempt this.
1. You know so many inside jokes that the mere mention of a growing
list of everyday words such as "sponge," "eye," "pizza," or "blind
date" are enough to send you into socially unacceptable fits of
laughter, followed by nervous silence and the mumbled excuse,
"I guess you kinda had to be there..."
- Ardulin
You Know You Are Addicted when
1. You go into debt to buy a new ultra modern pc just so you can access the offical "Lordofthering.net" web site.
2. You go into deeper debt to get connected to a high speed internet
access to better down load LOTR screen savers & wallpaper &
other cool LOTR web sites.
3. The only cd you play is the officeal LOTR sound track..
4. Your friends & family just stare at you when you tell them how many times you've seen the movie..
5. The only books you have read are LOTR books...including The Official Movie Guide...
6. You go into even deeper debt to buy all the LOTR movie items...including action figures...posters...clothing..etc...
7. You spend all your waking hours reading & posting on these boards.
8. You start refering to your 3rd story apartment as the "Flet" (elvin for treehouse).
9. Frodo, Merry, Pippin, Legolas, Aragorn, Gandalf, Boromir, & Sam are now household names...
10. You turn your pc on 1st thing in the morning to watch the Legolas
screen saver while you're getting ready for work...
- elvin lady
Top Ten Signs You're Turning Into A LOTR Character
10. When you choose a restaurant, you look for one that has roaring fires, malt beer, and red meat off the bone.
9. If you are caught eavesdropping on someone else’s conversation, you fear being turned into something unnatural.
8. When you’re out for a walk, you stop to gaze into puddles of water.
7. While you’re playing checkers and your opponent kings your piece, you really don’t want to be king.
6. If you’re watching a sad foreign movie with a friend who misses part
of the translation for a scene, you tell him that the grief is still to
near for you to do it.
5. When you see someone wearing a simple gold ring, you want to take it and use it to help your people.
4. If you travel far and wide you like to wear grey.
3. When you choose a restaurant, you look for one with an all you can eat buffet.
2. When you go out in public, you feel more comfortable with eight other friends.
1. When you see someone wearing a simple gold ring, you want it, my precioussss.
- Dinledhwen
Additions by Lothithil:
12. When you go to the mall, you get really nervous around the jewelry counter, especially the ring-engraving booth.
11. You give presents away at your own birthday parties.
Top 10 one-word things fans will do after seeing the movie tonight.
10. Complain
9. Cheer
8. Post
7. E-Mail
6. Sleep
5. Shop
4. Eat
3. Cry
2. Repeat
And the number one thing...
1. Bathroom
- The Foe Hammer
Top Ten last minute things to do before ROTK
10. Limit fluid intake
9.Search for last minute costume pieces
8. Put on 'onering' necklace.
7. Pack favorite action figure in purse
6. Post one more 'I'm so excited' post
5. Pack tissue Box contest entry
4. Pack a back up tissue box... just in case!
4. Make a "Frodo Lives" poster
2. Listen to the soundtrack on the way to the theater
1. Use the bathroom during opening previews, so you cant make it though the film!
- Rosie