Top Ten Lists About LOTR Obsession 2

Page 1   Page 2   Page 3

Contents of this page:
Top Ten signs you need a reality check
Top Ten Signs I Spend Too Much Time Here
Top 11 (always wondered why everything is 10) ways you can know you are obsessed w/ LoTR
You know LOTR is getting in the way of your school work when
Yet Another Top Ten of Reasons why you know you are addicted to LotR (and Billy Boyd)
Top Ten Signs You Might be a Fan
10 ways I Know I like LOTR too Much
The Top Ten Signs You May Need to Get Out More
You Know You Are Addicted when...
Top Ten Signs You're Turning into a LOTR Character
Top 10 one-word things fans will do after seeing the movie tonight.
Top Ten last minute things to do before ROTK

Top Ten signs you need a reality check

10. You camp outside the home of your neighbor who looks like Lij, then peek around the corner to see if GB and Dandy are there.
9.You have attempted to dress your hamster in a muumuu.
8.You are convinced that there *really is* a parallel universe..its called the Decipher Boards.
7.If someone drops crumbs on the floor you freak out shrieking "Pick it up now! i dont want any Smurfs!"
6.You insist that your friend "Rosie" is sharing a jail cell with Sean Astin.
5.When you go see *it* for the 1000th time, you expect to hear "without oants" added to everything..
4.You keep extra spnges and muumuus in your closet.
3.You carry around a dishtowel, insisting that you bear the Tea Towel of Power.
2.You greet everyone you meet with "Well Met! How about a pint?"
And the number one sign that you need a reality check is.....
1. Your mother *spouse/roomie/whatever* wonders at the excessive amount of men's underwear *Fruit of the Mines brand no less* in your laundry and you excalim "But its Gimli's!"

- LilBaggins

Top Ten Signs I Spend Too Much Time Here

10. When I accidnetly hit Caps Lock on my keyboard the other day, I muttered "Sauron, leave me be!"
9.The majority of my friends don't have names, they have handles *StefBaggins, Fool for a Took...etc*
8.I have actually referred to myself as LilBit
7.I have a "Prancing Pony" section on the contact lists of my various screen names *family,friends,PP*
6.When my sister came home with new sponges I thought "Great! Extras!"
5.Driving down the road I saw a group of people gathered near the curb talking. My first thought? "Party at Old Gaffer's mailbox!"
4.My niece asked if I was thirsty. I told her "no thanks..I just had a pint of wacky-juice"
3.My mom asked why it is so important to post my Fellowship Tales here ASAP..I said "I have to know what Primula thinks!"
2.I begged my sister's fiance to give me his extra signed Dom card, b/c "Stef would love it!" *Darn Stef..I didnt get it..I tried though..:-(*
1.Instead of laughing properly, I have taken to saying "snirkle"

- LilBaggins

Top 11 (always wondered why everything is 10) ways you can know you are obsessed w/ LoTR

11. You know The LoTR history better then your family history.
10. When you get mad, it's not 'oh ya? I'll get my bf to kick your....." it's "I'll get gimli to kick your....."
9. You've replaced all your family photos w/ LoTR character's photos.
8. You have a mouse named Frodo, a bird named Gollum, and a dog named Gandalf. And that cat that keeps coming around to be petted is Legolas.
7. You know elvish better then english.
6. Whenever something goes wrong, it's Sauron's fault.
5. When you sing in the shower, it's always about Gil-Galad or hobbit walking songs...
4. You know everything about Middle Earth geography, but you can't get someone from your house to the ice cream parlor (ben&jerry :-) Now the nearest movie theater, that is a different story.
3. You shout "Mellon!" at any door you can't get open.
2. You think the names of the 7 dwarves from Snow White are: Gimli, Gloin, Thorin, Gili, Nili, Ori, and Bambour.
1. When your BF kneels down on the floor and presents you with a ring, you look up and solomly say "I will take The Ring, and bear it as long as it is mine to bear." Then go quickly over and throw it into the fireplace.

- Melkor's Sister

You know LOTR is getting in the way of your school work when
  1. Your teacher gives you a really hard essay to write and you say: "Not with 10,000 hours could I do this!"
  2. In Chemistry you spend your whole time at the back of the class with a bunsen burner trying to forge the 'one ring'.
  3. In Geography you spend hours looking through the atlas for 'The Shire' in order to show your friends where you are holidaying next year!
  4. In PE doing the 1500 metres... you are at the back... suddenly you grab hold of the person in front of you, kneel down before them and say: "I would have gone with you to the end"...before collapsing.
  5. In Biology you try to research hobbit genetic crosses in order to find that elusive gene resposible for those really hairy feet.
  6. In Ecology you nag your teacher for classification books in order to find "kingsfoil" as your dog has swallowed your BK Nazgul figure!
  7. Your French teacher shouts at you, as you read your presentation on French schools systems in Quenya by mistake.
  8. In the library 'The Red Book- (your guide to the dewey decimal system)' mysteriously acquires a sticker saying 'of Westermarch'
  9. In Music when asked for a compostion you hand in "Concerning Hobbits" harmonised in the style of a Bach chorale.
  10. In Food Technology everything you cook contains mushrooms: Mushroom Crispies, Fruit Salad with added mushroom, Chocolate Mushroom cake...
  11. In Psychology instead of writing Token Economy you write Tolkien!!!
  12. Instead of doing school work you spend your time composing LOTR lists! (a 'lil too close to the truth!!)
- by Rowan and Lady of the Laiquendi

Yet Another Top Ten of Reasons why you know you are addicted to LotR (and Billy Boyd)

10) You cannot throw away the packaging for your Pippin & Merry action figures (even though you have cut out the picture of them both) simply because it's Lord of the Rings, and you just can't make yourself throw it in the bin.

9) You have an Orc prismatic foil card from Topps resting against your computer speaker in full view, even though you think the orcs are ugly and icky.

8) You have seen the film ten times by now and fully intend to go again every week until you can't anymore, despite thinking after the first viewing that you'd 'probably make it to about three, maybe four viewings.'

7) You keep tabs on every award ceremony, no matter how minor, to see if our film got any, even though in previous years you didn't even care about the Oscars.

6) You are seriously trying to talk your boyfriend into growing his hair, because it's curly and you think he'd make a great hobbit.

5) You spend the entire evening on hormone overload, only because DiamondTook showed you an exceptionally cute picture of Billy.

4) You seriously consider buying another Merlin sticker album, just to go through the excitement and fun again of opening a packet of stickers and carefully sticking them in.

3) You seriously consider buying more packets of Topps cards, even though you already have the entire set and loads of doubles, just for the chance that you might get Billy's autograph in it. And yes, you know how small the odds are for that.

2) You walked all across town on a gigantic Lord of the Rings shopping spree, spending far more money than you want to think about and ending in you making a shop get their last hobbit mug out of the window display, because they were the only ones who had it.

1) You go all mushy and wobbly-kneed every time you hear someone speak with a Scottish accent, regardless of whether it's Billy or not.
- Loanshark

Top Ten signs you might be a fan

10. When introducing yourself, you almost tell your handle.
9. You talk about the actors with their nick names with people you've just met.
8. You can tell which hobbit is which without mixing them.
7. You can't remember last time you've been in the movie theatre so often...
6. You're friends are coming to see you on a holiday when you have absolutely nothing to do, and you feel quilty about it because it decreases the time you can spend on boards!
5. You find yourself speaking "boardish" - even when you're not speaking English...
4. You spend more time on boards than you sleep
3. You keep telling you're friends you met Legolas/Aragorn/Sam/Frodo last night at the bar
2. You can't go to see LOTR because it's sold out and you're extremely happy 'bout it!
1. You have never before been able to quote a book or a movie, now - just ask!!

10 ways I know I like LOTR too much

1. Almost every website I visit is about Tolkien or Lord of the Rings.
2. The two cds I mainly listen to are the soundtrack from FOTR, and the Starlit Jewel, music inspired by LOTR.
3. I have copied almost all the poetry from LOTR into a special book.
4. I learned how to write the inscriptrion from the Ring in Elvish script. (Seriously!)
5. I have developed my own special Tolkien handwriting. "a firm, flowing script..."
6. I'm halfway through "In Dreams" or "May It Be" before I realize I'm singing.
7. I catch myself thinking costantly about LOTR news updates (DVD updates, TTT updates). "Mom, can I use the internet again? I just thought of something else....."
8. I nearly have a nervous breakdown before the mail comes in the morning, then after it comes - without my membership packet......
9. I know nearly as much about the history of Middle Earth as I do American history.
10. And as for these message boards......I am thinking of them, thinking of them always, my thoughts are bent on them.
- Firiel


10. Your red contact lenses are currently on backorder.
9. You mistakenly invited some friends to a place called "The Boards" insisting that "they have great pints!"
8. Purple goo, silly string, duct tape, and a blender bring to mind something other than wild college parties.
7. You have ordered a custom-made mumu from the local tailor. (You don't want to get caught wearing one of those dreadful rental mumus again!)
6. You have turned down numerous Friday night invitations to debut your parody of Cheap Trick's "I Want You to Want Me"-which you have been working on all week.
5. You keep a large bucket of sponges next to your computer. When asked to explain yourself, you reply that if they ever heard you impersonating Cheap Trick, they'd want a large bucket of sponges too.
4. You'll stake your reputation on the fact that 'the Nazgul who say "NI"' are original LotR characters, and you don't care how many manuscripts you have to go through to prove it.
3. Whenever you come across a commonly used phrase you feel the need to either a.) condense it into an acronym, or b.) translate it into Quenya.
2. You insist that you are extremely adept at dancing the mambo while rolling on the floor. Nevermind that no one in their right mind would ever actually attempt this.
1. You know so many inside jokes that the mere mention of a growing list of everyday words such as "sponge," "eye," "pizza," or "blind date" are enough to send you into socially unacceptable fits of laughter, followed by nervous silence and the mumbled excuse, "I guess you kinda had to be there..."
- Ardulin

You Know You Are Addicted when

1. You go into debt to buy a new ultra modern pc just so you can access the offical "" web site.
2. You go into deeper debt to get connected to a high speed internet access to better down load LOTR screen savers & wallpaper & other cool LOTR web sites.
3. The only cd you play is the officeal LOTR sound track..
4. Your friends & family just stare at you when you tell them how many times you've seen the movie..
5. The only books you have read are LOTR books...including The Official Movie Guide...
6. You go into even deeper debt to buy all the LOTR movie items...including action
7. You spend all your waking hours reading & posting on these boards.
8. You start refering to your 3rd story apartment as the "Flet" (elvin for treehouse).
9. Frodo, Merry, Pippin, Legolas, Aragorn, Gandalf, Boromir, & Sam are now household names...
10. You turn your pc on 1st thing in the morning to watch the Legolas screen saver while you're getting ready for work...
- elvin lady

Top Ten Signs You're Turning Into A LOTR Character

10. When you choose a restaurant, you look for one that has roaring fires, malt beer, and red meat off the bone.

9. If you are caught eavesdropping on someone else’s conversation, you fear being turned into something unnatural.

8. When you’re out for a walk, you stop to gaze into puddles of water.

7. While you’re playing checkers and your opponent kings your piece, you really don’t want to be king.

6. If you’re watching a sad foreign movie with a friend who misses part of the translation for a scene, you tell him that the grief is still to near for you to do it.

5. When you see someone wearing a simple gold ring, you want to take it and use it to help your people.

4. If you travel far and wide you like to wear grey.

3. When you choose a restaurant, you look for one with an all you can eat buffet.

2. When you go out in public, you feel more comfortable with eight other friends.

1. When you see someone wearing a simple gold ring, you want it, my precioussss.
- Dinledhwen

Additions by Lothithil:

12. When you go to the mall, you get really nervous around the jewelry counter, especially the ring-engraving booth.

11. You give presents away at your own birthday parties.

Top 10 one-word things fans will do after seeing the movie tonight.

10. Complain

9. Cheer

8. Post

7. E-Mail

6. Sleep

5. Shop

4. Eat

3. Cry

2. Repeat

And the number one thing...

1. Bathroom
- The Foe Hammer

Top Ten last minute things to do before ROTK

10. Limit fluid intake
9.Search for last minute costume pieces
8. Put on 'onering' necklace.
7. Pack favorite action figure in purse
6. Post one more 'I'm so excited' post
5. Pack tissue Box contest entry
4. Pack a back up tissue box... just in case!
4. Make a "Frodo Lives" poster
2. Listen to the soundtrack on the way to the theater
1. Use the bathroom during opening previews, so you cant make it though the film!
- Rosie

Return to top of page