The Two Towers Parody
Part 3The Taming of Smeagol
*Sam and Frodo look at Mordor*
Sam: We’re lost Mr. Frodo, I told you to stop and ask for directions.
Frodo: We don’t need directions Sam! (Sees Eye of Sauron) Ahhh!!
Sam: What is it?
Frodo: It’s the Eye! Ummm... ummm...
Frodo: I don’t know what to say here.
Sam: Let’s just eat
Frodo: That’s your solution to everything Sam. Does anything dampen your hopes?
Sam: No (hears Thunder) Except for those rain clouds.
*Night, it’s raining Gollum watches the Hobbits*
*The next day...*
Frodo: Oh man, we're going in circles.
Sam: No, we’re on the wrong set again
*Night, Gollum comes towards the Hobbits*
Gollum: Filthy little thieves... We wants my precious...
Frodo & Sam: Not today (they catch Gollum)
*The next morning...*
Sam: Every Orc in Mordor is gonna hear this!
*Over in Mordor...*
Orc 1: More tea?
Orc 2: Yes please. Hey what is that sound?
Orc 1: It’s Gollum yelling over in Emyn Muil.
Orc 2: Ah
*Back in Emyn Muil...*
Sam: Lets tie him up
Frodo: I pity him, untie him.
*Sam unties Gollum, he leads them*
Gollum: This way, Hobbitses!
Sam: When I said we should ask someone for directions, this isn't exactly what I had in mind.
Frodo: Next time maybe you should be a little more specific when you criticize my quest-leading skills.
Sam: Are we there yet?
Part 4: The Uruk-Hai
*The Uruk-hai run carrying Merry and Pippin*
Pippin: Merry! Merry! Merry, are you awake?
Merry: Yes, somebody keeps yelling at me!
Pippin: That’s a real drag. But don't worry, I'm sure the other are already looking for us.
Merry: I bet they haven't even noticed we're missing.
*The Orcs stop*
Uruk 1: What is it?
Uruk 2: I smell something.
Orc 1: What?
Uruk 1: Hey, aren’t you Uruk 3?
Orc 4: No, that’s him over there.
Uruk 2: That can’t be, how could you be Orc 4? Where’s 2 and 3?
Orc 2 & 3: We were taking our 3-hour coffee break.
Uruk 1: Don’t we all have names?
Orc 1: The writer doesn’t feel like looking them up at the moment.
Pippin: Hey I hate to burst your bubble, but you’re dragging this scene on for too long.
Uruk 2: The munchkin’s right, let’s get moving.
Pippin: And I can’t stand this leaf on my cloak, I’m taking it off!