The Two Towers Parody

by Lordofthejedi17

Part 3

The Taming of Smeagol

*Sam and Frodo look at Mordor*

Sam: We’re lost Mr. Frodo, I told you to stop and ask for directions.

Frodo: We don’t need directions Sam! (Sees Eye of Sauron) Ahhh!!

Sam: What is it?

Frodo: It’s the Eye! Ummm... ummm...

Sam: Yes?

Frodo: I don’t know what to say here.

Sam: Let’s just eat

Frodo: That’s your solution to everything Sam. Does anything dampen your hopes?

Sam: No (hears Thunder) Except for those rain clouds.

*Night, it’s raining Gollum watches the Hobbits*

*The next day...*

Frodo: Oh man, we're going in circles.

Sam: No, we’re on the wrong set again

*Night, Gollum comes towards the Hobbits*

Gollum: Filthy little thieves... We wants my precious...

Frodo & Sam: Not today (they catch Gollum)

*The next morning...*

Gollum: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Sam: Every Orc in Mordor is gonna hear this!

*Over in Mordor...*

Orc 1: More tea?

Orc 2: Yes please. Hey what is that sound?

Orc 1: It’s Gollum yelling over in Emyn Muil.

Orc 2: Ah

*Back in Emyn Muil...*

Sam: Lets tie him up

Gollum: No!

Frodo: I pity him, untie him.

*Sam unties Gollum, he leads them*

Gollum: This way, Hobbitses!

Sam: When I said we should ask someone for directions, this isn't exactly what I had in mind.

Frodo: Next time maybe you should be a little more specific when you criticize my quest-leading skills.

Sam: Are we there yet?

Part 4: The Uruk-Hai

*The Uruk-hai run carrying Merry and Pippin*

Pippin: Merry! Merry! Merry, are you awake?

Merry: Yes, somebody keeps yelling at me!

Pippin: That’s a real drag. But don't worry, I'm sure the other are already looking for us.

Merry: I bet they haven't even noticed we're missing.

Pippin: Eh...

*The Orcs stop*

Uruk 1: What is it?

Uruk 2: I smell something.

Orc 1: What?

Uruk 1: Hey, aren’t you Uruk 3?

Orc 4: No, that’s him over there.

Uruk 2: That can’t be, how could you be Orc 4? Where’s 2 and 3?

Orc 2 & 3: We were taking our 3-hour coffee break.

Uruk 1: Don’t we all have names?

Orc 1: The writer doesn’t feel like looking them up at the moment.

Pippin: Hey I hate to burst your bubble, but you’re dragging this scene on for too long.

Uruk 2: The munchkin’s right, let’s get moving.

Pippin: And I can’t stand this leaf on my cloak, I’m taking it off!