Shire Talk Reports: Classified Ads

by Lothithil & various

Lost and Found:

Missing! One elderly Hobbit,
aged 111 years,
Wearing red velvet smoking jacket
and embroidered waistcoat.
If found, do not approach!
Is considered 'Mad'.
Last seen in Party Field,
Sept 22, S.R. 1401
Forward info to Sherriff Smallborough
Three Farthing Stone, Frogmorton.
Reward offered.


Missing, one trifle of a
small gold plated ring.
Sentimental value only.
If found, send eMail to
(baraddur@ mordor.eye)
Will send recovery team.


Lost in the vicinity of Mordor, one well
used and much-loved frying pan. Has
initials SG on handle, slightly dented from
contact with hard heads.

If found please forward to Samwise Gamgee,
Bag End, the Shire, if not in please leave
message at Bywater PO.


Missing! One ranger...goes by the
names of Aragorn, Elessar, Strider, ect...

Was last seen going off a cliff...

Is about 6'2", hasn't had a shower in
weeks, is probably very bloody.

If found, please return to Gimli son
of Gloin or Eowyn, the sister-daughter
of King Thoeden. A reward will be given.

One mood ring, in the mud outside Helm's Deep.
Size 18, with WhiteHand logo
Always displays black
Inscription reads: "Naj garrund shlob pushdug"
(translation from Blackspeech:
 "Don't say I never gave you anything")

If found, return to Snaga,
at Orthanc, Ring of Isengard.
Sentimental value only

For Sale:

Multi-room smial, 3 cellars, and
4 pantries(no garage or attic)
Located in Hobbiton.
Excellent view of Bywater Pool.
Only three previous owners.
Silent bids accepted no later
than September 22.
Re: Frodo Baggins, the Hill
(legitimate offers only,
please. No wraiths)


For sale: Last Homely House, also
known as Rivendell. Home is situated
almong woodlands, rivers and waterfalls.
Faded grandeur needs just a little TLC
to be restored to former beauty. Original
mural art, elven statues and rare book
collection included. As wing for children
or hobbits or other small beings. Best offer.
Owner vacating Middle Earth and must sell.


Garage Sales

Huge Garage Sale - Many old Mathoms

some hardly ever used - also, a nice
collection of old winyard bottles
(Empty) - several books and journals,
a nice collection of maps and some
large pictures of dragons (no longer living)
sale to be held rain or shine at the SB's of
Bag End - Saturday only 7am to 1pm - all sales