The Archer Mice of Middle-earth

by Varda

The Mice that Can't Say No

‘I could murder a beer.’ said Boromouse, looking up and down the windswept promenade of Bray seafront,
dominated by Bray Head, also knows as the Headburg, or Bray Deep….
‘Well you can’t have one!’ snapped Aramouse. ‘This is a serious quest, not a pub crawl.’
‘Can you depose a king before he is crowned?’ mused Boromouse.

‘Stop it you two!’ thundered Wizardmouse. ‘We have other things to worry about. Where is King Théomouse and
the Rohirrimice?’
‘They’re coming down on the next train!’ piped up Pipsqueak.
‘..and where is Legomouse?’
‘He got caught in the train doors when we were getting off.’said Merrimouse.
’Did he shout ‘Aieee’?' asked Gilmouse with a wicked gleam in his eye.
‘That is not funny’ said Frodent sternly. ‘Is he all right?’
‘He’s fine’ said Boromouse ‘But his hair is ruined….here he is…’

‘I don’t BELIEVE you brought me to Bray!’ sobbed Legomouse, looking dishevelled. ‘It is SO fifties!’
‘Look!’ cried Pipsqueak and Merrimouse. ‘Dodgems!’
‘No way!’ snorted Wizardmouse.’I am not going down that road again, I used up all my spells trying to ram Aramouse last time….’

‘Why do we have to wait for the Rohirrimice?’ asked Frodent.

‘They are mighty warriors, and valiant…’ said Wizardmouse. ‘They are the Knights That Can’t Say No.’
‘Surely..’ said Aramouse, appalled ‘You mean the Knights That Never Say Die?’
‘No’ said Frodent ‘They are the Knights That Can’t Let Go…’

‘Here’ whispered Boromouse to Merrimouse and Pipsqueak, pointing to Madigans Lounge across the promenade.
‘Let’s try three creamy pints of Guinness while this lot argue it out….’
'It comes in pints?' gasped Pip thirstily.
'Yes and they are on Gondormouse....' said Boromouse.

And the three mice set off across the bleak expanse of Bray Prom, whiskers twitching….