The Archer Mice of Middle-earth
Revenge of the Mice
I did not hear anything from the Mice about how they
liked the film, but yesterday in the shop I overheard the vet say....
'I've been snowed under with cats from Waterloo Road...'
'Waterloo Road! How posh!'
'Yes, nothing but Persians and Siamese and Burmese with jeweled
'And what is wrong with them?'
'All peppered with tiny darts, for all the world like little arrows...'
'There! Got it! Sorry, kitty...oh, look at that, a tiny arrow, fletched
with the feathers of a wren, such as the Elf-mice of Lórien
'I beg your pardon?'
'sorry! just thinking out loud...what do you call your kitty?'
'Sauron The Great'
'Er, that is a strange name for a cat'
'I thought it would encourage it to eliminate the mice....'
'Eliminate the Mice! you heard them! That is our common doom, none can
'oh NOT this speech again...' said Boromouse
'You're just annoyed you weren't in the film!' snapped Aramouse.
'Well my bro Faramouse was....I think' answered Boromouse doubtfully.
'Enough of film criticism!' said Aramouse 'tonight we mount an assault
on Dublin 4! The Quest has begun!'
'At last' muttered Frodent.
'When's dinner?' asked Sammouse
'What is that?' cried Legomouse in horror. They all looked up. Above
them floated a banner; a white mouse running on a green field,
surmounted by nine stars.
'That's our banner' answered Merimouse proudly.
'Well' said Legomouse tossing his head 'that green does not suit me, I
can't possibly fight under it'
'Never mind the banner!' said Aramouse 'just try not to hit me with it!
We cross the bridge at midnight..'
'Not the bridge!' piped up Pipsqueak 'I'm afraid of the buses!'
'Would you rather swim the canal?' asked Boromouse
'Let's cross the bridge...' said Pipsqueak.