The Archer Mice of Middle-earth
The Return of Boromouse
‘I have come back to you now, at the turning of the tide
in Dublin Bay...’ said Wizardmouse
‘It cannot be!’ cried Aramouse ‘You fell, off Baggot Street Bridge,
into the canal...’
‘Long I fell!’ said Wizardmouse, brandishing his white staff which
looked suspiciously like a cocktail stick.
‘And my enemy fell with me...’
‘What enemy was that?’ piped up Pipsqueak
‘A Balduck of Morgothrat!’ thundered Wizardmouse.
‘Mauled by a mallard’ murmured Boromouse. Wizardmouse gave him a
‘Aren’t you dead or something?’
‘You can hardly talk...' retorted Boromouse
‘If Wizardmouse can stage a comeback, so can Boromouse!’ said Aramouse.
‘That makes sense’
‘Who sticks to the book anyway?’
‘So it’s unanimouse, Boromouse is back’ said Aramouse.
'Welcome back!' said Merrimouse
'Thanks,' said Boromouse 'I don't even feel as if I have been away.'
'That is because you haven't been away' said Frodent.
'Now don't start one of your philosophical discussions, Frodent' said
'You know it makes my head hurt..'
‘Hello? Excuse me?' said Wizardmouse. 'This is supposed to be MY
comeback scene, if you don’t mind’
‘Oh, sorry, mate’
‘Fire away, it won’t happen again’
‘Anyway, as I was saying, through fire, and water, and ducks, I come
back to you now not as the Grey Wizardmouse but as the White
Wizardmouse!’ and he cast his grey cloak aside to reveal a shining coat
of white fur.
‘It’s very nice’
‘Suits you better than the grey’
‘Did you dye it yourself?’
‘Isengasworks is unleashed on the world!’ cried Wizardmouse, ignoring
‘Sarumouse is marching on the stronghold of the Rohirrimice, the
deserted flour mill, the Mouseburg’
The Archer Mice looked aghast.
‘King Théomouse flees to the bakery when he should stand and
fight!’ said Gilmouse
‘He is only doing what he thinks is best for his mice’ objected
‘There is no way out of that bakery’ cried Wizardmouse
‘Théomouse is walking into a mousetrap!’
Seizing his cocktail stick The White Wizardmouse said;
‘I am going to get help’
‘From where?’ they all asked.
‘From Eomouse! He is still loyal….’
‘Aieee!’ cried Legomouse
'What?' they all asked
'Have you SEEN the state of his hair...?’