The Archer Mice of Middle-earth

by Varda


The Council of Peppercanister


The war between the Archer Mice of Middle Earth and the Uruk-Rats took a desperate turn with the present storm, which flooded our brave rodents out of Minas St Mary and forced them across The Bridge of Khazad-Baggot Street into the uncharted lands of Dublin Two. The Granduin Canal marks the border.

Dublin Two is very different from the bohemian warren of alleys of Dublin Four. No discarded sandwiches to feast on. It has vast squares of ghostly mansions of the departed aristocracy (Minas Merrion Square) and Government Buildings (Minas Morghul). These are inhabited by the Bureaurats.

Our heroes were met by the leader (elected by proportional rodentation) of the Bureaurats, MacWormtongue, who smiled unctuously and proffered in his plump pink paw a form,
'Application For Temporary Rodent Residency. This Form Is Also Available In Irish'
'Fill this out and you might be able to stay'
'But..'
'In triplicate..'
'But..'
'Accompanied by three signed passport photographs'

'Oh forget it!'

Our disgruntled heroes then took refuge in Merrion Gardens but when night fell they found this leafy area was haunted by the Foxwraiths, who love mice, preferably with chips. By moonlight the Archer Mice fled down Mount Street and took refuge in the Peppercanister Church, where they were greeted warmly by the Halfrodents, who being poor as church mice, never attained more than half the average mouse height.

Here a great council was held, the Council of Peppercanister, attended by representatives of all free rodents, where it was decided to risk all to regain the ancient kingdom of Dublin Four, or Minas Mouse, and throw back the dark forces of the Uruk-rats and Balmogs.