The Fellowship of the Ring Parody

by Lordofthejedi17


Part 47

*The Fellowship is going down the Anduin River*

Tom Bombadil: Ahoy! La... la... la...

Gimli: WHY did he have to be on our boat! Can I please throw him overboard?

Legolas: No, Gimli, not yet

*Boat 2...*

Sam: Do you think the Ring’s beginning to affect Mr. Frodo yet?

Frodo has big firey eyes like the Eye of Sauron

Aragorn: I don’t know, but he should cut back on all that coffee.

*Boat 3...*

Boromir: Ok, we’re too heavy (looks at Pippin).

Pippin: But Sam is on the other boat... I’m not fat! Its Glorfindel!

Glorfindel: I’m not fat!

*Along the edge of the water one night*

Frodo: Sam, I’m ditching everyone tomorrow.

Sam: Alrighty, and I’m coming.

Frodo: GRRR...

Later...

Boromir: We have to go to Minas Tirith! I left my stove on!

Aragorn: Like I’m falling for that.

Boromir: BUT I DON’T WANNA DIE!

Aragorn: Just shut up already! I don’t want to go anwhere near Minas Tirith without a dead army!

Boromir: But...

*Next day...*

Aragorn: Look Frodo, big statue of kings.

Statues of King: You shall not pass!

Aragorn: Too late, we already did.

Statues of King: We are pretty bad at this job. And I got a itch on my nose!

Tom Bombadil: Ahoy! La... la... la..

Everyone: SHUT UP!


Part 48: Parth Galen

I.

*The Fellowship arrives at Parth Galen*

Aragorn: Ok, we are going to go down the Parth Galen waterslide tomorrow, did everyone brings their swinsuits?

Pippin: Ummm...

Merry: Well...

Tom Bombadil: Ahoy! Old tom bought some, so let’s sing to it! La, la, la

Boromir: (reaching for his sword) I CAN’T TAKE THIS!!!!

Aragorn: (Grabs Boromir’s hand) NO!!! Do you want the writer of this parody to kill you off for that?

Boromir: Well, I’m going to die anyway so why did I care?

Aragorn: Good point. Now go get some wood!

Boromir: But...

Lordofthejedi17: You heard the man, GET SOME WOOD!

Aragorn: Now where was I? Oh, ok, we are going to cross the lake and go to Mordor that way.

Gimli: That mean we’ll have to go through Emyn Muil, rocks so sharp they can cut you in pieces. (Pippin’s eyes widen) Then we have to go through the Dead Marshes, that smell like their’s no tomorrow! (Pippin’s eyes widen out of his head) And finally, we got very steep moun... (BOOM!)

Pippin’s head explodes

Gimli: ...tain.

Merry: Pippin’s head just blew up.

Lordofthejedi17: Sigh, I know one person who wouldn’t be happy about this... (Pippin’s head reappears) there. Now if you’ll excuse me, the Parody Police are after me!!!!

Sam: Hey, where did Frodo go?

Aragorn: Oh no! Boromir and Tom Bombadil are both gone too!

Gimli: Oh no! I lost the strands of Galadriel’s hair!

Glorfindel: Oh no! I haven’t had a line in this scene yet!

Merry: Oh no! The Parody Police are after Lordofthejedi17!

Legolas: Oh no, I’m out of hair care products!

II.

*Frodo and Boromir are talking*

Boromir: Can I have the ring Frodo?

Frodo: Let me think... no!

Boromir: What if I try to steal it from you?

Frodo: Your gonna have to figure out which one it is! (Holds up 20 fake rings)

Boromir: I’ll take them all!!!!

Frodo: NO!!!!!!

Boromir: (whining) But I don’t wanna die!

Glorfindel: No, I want the ring

Frodo: Great, now you?

Glorfindel: Yeah, the writer is messing up beacuse the parody police are after him!

Lordofthejedi17: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Parody Police: GET BACK HERE!!!!

Boromir: I think I'll try to steal that ring now.

Frodo: You want the ring? (goes invisible) Good luck stealing it when I'm invisible.

Boromir: Well!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Frodo: (running away) Drink some decaf next time!

Boromir: Fine then, I'll just have an epiphany instead.

III.


*Frodo sees the Eye of Sauron*

Eye of Sauron: Hello again.

Frodo: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! (falls to the ground)

Aragorn: Watch where you fall Frodo, some of us are trying to find you!

Frodo: The ring has taken Boromir...

Aragorn: That’s no suprise.

Frodo: ...and Glorfindel!

Aragorn: Glorfindel? Now that I didn’t see coming. What is going through the mind of the writer?

Tom Bombadil: Because I have the Parody Police after him.

Aragorn: What?

Tom Bombadil: I am none other than... (pulls off mask) J.R.R. Tolkien himself!

Frodo and Aragorn: OH MY!!!! Mr Tolkien I have alot of questions for you!!

J.R.R. Tolkien: Ask away.

Frodo: Who or what is Tom Bombadil?

Aragorn: Is the Lord of the Rings Glorfindel the same one that’s in The Silmarillion?

J.R.R. Tolkien: Old Tom is me with a different name, can’t you figure that out? They are two different Glorfindels. That concludes our question part. Now if you excuse me, I have to go speak to Peter Jackson and George Lucas.

Uruk-Hai: Hey, we’re waiting to battle over here!

Aragorn: Right on, (pulls out lightsaber) Bring it on!


Part 49: The Breaking of the Fellowship

*Aragorn fight*

Uruk-Hai 1: Ow!

Uruk-Hai 2: Ow!

Lurtz: Find the Hobbits!

Aragorn: I won’t let you!

Legolas and Gimli: We’ll help him with that!

Glorfindel: (running in circles) What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?!

*Somewhere else...*

Merry: Frodo, hide with us.

Frodo: No way, I’m ditching all of you!

Pippin: Gimmie the ring!

Uruk-Hai 1: Hey you!

Merry: Ohh... RUN!!!!!

*Somewhere else...*

Lordofthejedi17: (with lightsabers) Take that and that!

Uruk-Hai 2: You don’t fight fair!

Lordofthejedi17: I’m the writer, I can do whatever I want!

*Boromir protects the Hobbits*

Boromir: I’ll I’m gonna die! I need help!

Uruk-Hai: No ones gonna here you, now die!

Boromir: If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful then you can possibly imagine!

Uruk-Hai: Fine then, but we're still going to kill you.

Boromir: (blowing his horn) I need help!

Pippin: I’ll throw rocks!

Lurtz: Not gonna help (shoots Boromir)

Boromir: That really hurt, I’m gonna have a lump there now! Who shoots arrows?

Lurtz: Now I see why Tolkien killed you off, you’re such a whiner!

Merry: We’re under attack, Boromir’s dying, and we’re about to get captured. What do we do?

Pippin: Get drunk?

Merry: That’s your excuse for everything.

*Both Merry and Pippin are captured and the Uruk-Hai run off*

Lurtz: Why won’t you die?

Boromir: I’m wondering the samething...

Aragorn: I’m sorry Lurtz, but since you’re not a book person, I’m gonna have to kill you off.

Lurtz: Nuts (dies).