The Fellowship of the Ring Parody

by Lordofthejedi17


Part 44

*Frodo and Galadriel are looking into the Mirror of Galadriel*

Galadriel: You wanna look into my mirror?

Frodo: Is that an insult!?

Galadriel: NO! This scene is from the book. You have to look!

Frodo: If I may point out, Sam is also in this scene in the book.

Galadriel: Sam wanted way too much money to do this scene so we cut him out.

Frodo: Fair enough (looks into the mirror).

Galadriel: So what do you see?

Frodo: I really need a hair cut.

Galadriel: Anything else?

Frodo: (sees Shire being destroyed) Nothing important... (sees Hobbits being tortured) this is getting boring... (sees Middle-Earth burning) Zzzzz... zzzz.... (sees Orcs shopping at the clearance sale at Hobbits R’ Us) NOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Galadriel: Important stuff, right?

Frodo: I dunno... something about doom. I wasn't really paying attention. Anyway, take the ring, I don’t want it anymore.

Galadriel: But if I take the ring, I will become a evil queen THAT CAN RULE THE WORLD!

Frodo: Fine! Then I won’t give you the Ring!

Galadriel: I already got one and mine’s better! Anyway, Frodo, you gotta break from the Fellowship. (Darth Vader breathing) It is your destiny, look inside you’ll see the truth!

Frodo: You read my mine, I was planning on blowing the joint anyway.

Part 45

*Saruman and Lurtz are talking*

Saruman: Do you know how the Orcs first came into being?

Lurtz: Ohh... not The Talk!

Saruman: They were Elves that something, something, something, turned into evil. Now, I got a job for you...

*Outside in Isengard*

Saruman: Now, find a Hobbit named Frodo Baggins, here’s a picture! (Holds up a picture of Pippin) Find him and bring him here, tell him he lost... he lost... his mind.

Lurtz: Are you kidding me?

Saruman: No, now go find HIM!

Lurtz: But...

Saruman: No buts or you will meet the back end of my staff!


Part 46


*Back in Lothlorien...*

Celeborn: Here are some spare cloaks I found in my closet.

Boromir: These really itch.

Merry: Yeah, they do.

Celeborn: Just live with it...

*Lembos bread...*

Legolas: Lembos. This will fill you up with one small bite.

Merry: Should we tell him that it takes 4 to fill us up?

Pippin: Nah... (passes gas)

*Celeborn talks with Aragorn*

Celeborn: Now what road are you gonna take?

Aragorn: I don’t know... like I know Middle-Earth geology.

Celeborn: You got a map in your back pocket!

Aragorn: I won’t lie to you... this is a map of my backyard. I just looks like Middle-Earth.

Celeborn: The book says you been everwhere in Middle-Earth... including the far lands of Rhun!

Aragorn: Hold on... just where in Middle-Earth is Rhun?

Celeborn: Like I care... I think it thatta way... (points east)

*Galadriel is giving out gifts*

Galadriel: I am so, so sad to see you all go.

Merry: Just make with the gifts already.

Galadriel: Alrighty... to Legolas I give you this bow, the best we’ve ever made...

*Legolas pulls back the bow to have it break in half*

Galadriel: Ummm... you voided the bow’s warrenty! Now to Merry and Pippin, I give you these daggers.

Pippin: What do we need with these?

Galadriel: I don’t know, like I ever read the book. Now, to Aragorn, I supposed to give you a sheath for your sword, but since the book was changed when the movie was written, I GIVE YOU NOTHING! Except some stupid speech about that jewel you have.

Aragorn: Well, there is one thing I could use...

Galadriel: I know, ear cotton, so you don’t have to listen to Tom Bombadil.

Aragorn: Thanks a million!

Galadriel: Now to Sam, I give you some dirt.

Sam: But in the movie, I get a rope.

Galadriel: The writer of this Parody knows that! Here’s the rope (gives Sam the rope). Now to Gimli, I give you chunk of my hair, and to Frodo I give you a vile of water that’ll glow when you yell a word! Am I forgetting anyone?

*Boromir clears his throat*

Galadriel: Oh yeah, to Tom Bombadil, I give you bubble gum and to Glorfindel I give you a Life Insurance policy.

Glorfindel: (reading the Life Insurance policy) ‘Void if your death is caused by a Balrog’.

Galadriel: And that’s everyone! NOW get out of here!

*On the boats*

Boromir: I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS! THAT...

Lordofthejedi17: WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE IN FRONT OF THE MODS!!!!

Boromir: Ok, you stupid...

Lordofthejedi17: That’s it! (1000 Orcs appear out of nowhere)

Boromir: SORRY! (Orcs vanish) I can’t believe this, the writer tries to kill me, yet he can’t kill Tom Bombadil off!

Pippin: I heard that Tom Bombadil paid to be in this Parody.

Boromir: (evil grin) That gives me an idea...