The Fellowship of the Ring Parody

by Lordofthejedi17


Part 41

*Gandalf urges the Fellowship towards the Bridge of Khazad-Dum*

Gandalf: Run! Run! Fly!

Frodo: Gandalf, we can’t fly!

Balrog: Hi there, my name is Bob the Balrog.

Gandalf: You got some very hot breath there, Bob, have some Tic Tacs.

Bob the Balrog: Nah, I wanna fight...

Back at the bridge...

Frodo: You got to be kidding, the bridge is this narrow!

Sam: I have a fear of heights.

Aragorn: Don’t worry, we’ll be computer generated then we’ll run across.

Gandalf: AHHH!!!!!!

Bob the Balrog: Come on, you don’t like the way I play?

Gandalf: I don’t play with fire whips and swords!

*The Fellowship runs across the bridge; Gandalf stops midway.*

Gandalf: You shall not pass!

Frodo: Gandalf! You’re wasting screen time!

Gandalf: Hey, I got some flame that I serve, yada, yada, yada... anyway, Mr. Worf, shields up!

Mr. Worf: Aye Sir.

Pippin: Where did he come from?

Bob the Balrog: Boo! Eat my fire sword!

Gandalf: Can’t, I’m already eating the Witch-King’s fire sword in Return of the King.

Bob the Balrog: Well, then eat my fire whip!

Gandalf: Hey, didn’t your parents teach you not to play with fire? For that, I’ll break the bridge!

Bob the Balrog: AHHH!!! (Falls in a deep hole)

Gandalf: Done...

Bob the Balrog: Not today! (throws up fire whip and grabs Gandalf).

Gandalf: AHHH!!!

Frodo: Oh no, you killed Gandalf! Anyway, lets go!

Gandalf: I can’t fly you fools! (Falls in with the Balrog)

Boromir: AHH!!! RUN!

*They all run out of Moria*

Frodo: Cool, I’ve killed Gandalf!

Aragorn: Frodo, the script says that you’re supposed to bawl your eyes out!

Frodo: I am? Well (steps in really cold water and starts crying) there!

Aragorn: Now lets get to Lothlorien before we’re knee-deep in Orcs and we run out of screen time!


Part 42

*The Fellowship runs into a Forest*

Legolas: So what are we looking for?

Aragorn: Nothing, I just like these trees.

Gimli: We gotta turn back, I left my good ax back in Moria!

Boromir: Dwarves...

Gimli: Stay near me, Hobbits, Elfs of great power live here! And they take people and they are never seen again.

Frodo: I’ve heard that a thousand times.

Aragorn: Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's get moving before the casual audience gets bored.

Gimli: Well, here’s one dwarf that won’t be taken, I have the eyes of a Hawk, the ears of a Fox...

Haldir: ...and the intelligence of a Goldfish.

*They have arrows held to their heads*

Haldir: The dwarf talks so loud, we’ve could’ve shot him in the dark.

Gimli: Now listen up here... (Alot of stuff falls out of his beard) Oops!

*Night, Haldir and the Men are talking.*

Haldir: (In elvish) Ah, Legolas! Come here to party?

Legolas: (In elvish) No, help me here! They all smell bad! I can’t take it anymore! Aragorn is the worst...

Aragorn: (In elvish) Legolas, I can understand Elvish.

Legolas: (In elvish) Oh shoot! Look, I can explain!

Gimli: HEY! SPEAK WORDS WE CAN ALL UNDERSTAND!

Haldir: You emotions are beginning to affect your judgment...

Aragorn: Haldir, this is Lord of the Rings, not Star Trek.

Gimli says something really bad in dwarfish.

Aragorn: Gimli, I’m gonna get a bar of soap...

Gimli: ...and wash yourself with it! HA!

Haldir: (sees Frodo) AHHH! AHHH! AHHH! He’s got an evil ring of power! You’re all under arrest for carrying rings of power!

Boromir: I demand to see you boss! You do not arrest the son of the Steward of Gondor!


Part 43

*The Fellowship is walking through the woods*

Haldir: That is Caras Galadhon, the CG home of... blah, blah, blah!!!

*Later inside Caras Galadhon...*

Celeborn: Oh my, where’s Gandalf! He’s got my credit card!

Aragorn: Ummm...

Boromir: Ummm...

Legolas: Gandalf fell in Moria, with a Balrog!

Celeborn: OH NO! I don’t know what a Balrog is, but I’ll look scared anyway!

Galadriel: Yep, Now rest here while I tell Frodo something stupid!

Celeborn: You’ll have to ignore my wife here, I think she’s eating mushrooms.

Sam: Wait a minute... (check bag) where did my halucanagentic Mushrooms go?

Galadriel: (mouth full) Why are you lookin’ at me?

Glorfindel: PLEASE JUST LET ME BE IN THE MOVIE! One scene!

Frodo: Oh man, ok.

*Later...*

Legolas: They’re singing for Gandalf.

Merry: What are they saying.

Legolas: I don’t know, I can’t speak Elvish.

Aragorn: Boromir, calm down!

Boromir: I can’t! Minas Tirith will fall and my old man is gonna die!

Aragorn: You think that's bad? We gotta bring Glorfindel along now!

Boromir: Hold on a minute, Glorfindel doesn't come with us in the book.

Aragorn: Well, this is the kinda stuff you get when you change a book into a movie! Well, it could be worse, Tom Bombadil could be coming with...

Tom Bombadil: Oy, did someone call old Tom's name?

Aragorn: Boromir, hope you bought ear cotton.