The Fellowship of the Ring Parody
*The Fellowship walks into the huge mines*
Gandalf: Ah... Its the great dwarf city whose name I can’t remember.
Sam: Why did the dwarves build a tall city when they’re so tiny?
Gimli: Because when you party, that ceiling can look alot closer!
*Gimli sees the Tomb of Balin*
Gimli: Oh no!
Gandalf: Gimli, this is no time to party!
*Gimli sees the tomb. He falls to his knees.*
Gandalf: (Reading the tomb) Here is a empty stone block that is supposed to be Balin’s tomb. Hmmm...
Sam: Is that the same Balin from The Hobbit?
Gandalf: I believe it is. (sees a book) Hmmm... I need a new wizard,
Peregrin Took! You’re the new wizard, here is a staff and hat. Good
job, Peregrin the brown!
Pippin: I’m a wizard now, cool! Now all I need is a long beard...
Gandalf: (Reading the book) “They are dumb, I don’t even know what
I’m writing, we can’t get out, but I continue to write, and I’m trying
to write the longest sentence possible and using so many commas, its
Gonna Drive The READER MAD!!!!!!!!”
Pippin: I’m gonna make a bunch of noise. (Makes a body fall into a well)
Gandalf: Fool of a Brandybuck!
Merry: Hey, It wasn't me.
Gandalf: Sorry, I can't tell you two apart. Peregrin the brown, I
hereby kick you out of the wizarding order. Your staff is broken!
Pippin: Gandalf, this is your staff.
Gandalf: Oops, wouldn’t want to break it then!
*Gandalf hears drums beating*
Gandalf: Peregrin, that better be your stomach.
Pippin: I wish it was...
Sam: Frodo, your sword is starting to CG-glow!
Legolas: I wonder if there is anything alive down here anymore?
Boromir: You’re very slow, Legolas. (Runs to the door) AH! (Several arrows miss him) Uh oh, big troll!
Aragorn: Everyone back now! (Runs to the door) Hey...
*The door blows down, Orcs come running in*
Aragorn: You have to fight dirty! (He takes an Orc’s paycheck and rips its up)
Legolas: I am not slow! What, we’re under attack?
Troll: Hi! Eat my club!
Boromir: Hey, we don’t like clubs (He is holding the Troll’s chain) Uh oh.
Aragorn: Not today! (saves Boromir)
Gimli: I can’t stand up because my beard is so heavy
Sam: I found a better way of fighting, with frying-pans!
Legolas: I have to use my best suction cup arrows to bring the troll down! (licks a suction cup, then shoots it at the troll)
Troll: Ow, that hurt!
Frodo: Hey, some help?
Troll: Ok (Stabs Frodo).
Frodo: Ouch! Some help you are. (falls over)
Merry and Pippin: Die, Troll, you killed Frodo and he owes us money!
Troll: Oh no... (Dies)
Pippin: That was easy.
Merry: Well, he was only CG.
Sam: Ack! Frodo! What will we do now?
Gandalf: How did you live?
Frodo: I’m under contract, I’m not just gonna die!
*They hear Orcs coming*
Gandalf: Lets get out of here! AHHHHHH...
*The Fellowship takes off screaming, they are soon stopped by Orcs*
Gimli: Get ready to eat my ax!
Everyone hear a growl, the Orcs take off.
Boromir: What is that?
Gandalf: It’s a Balrog, a demen of the old world, but that’s not
important right now. What’s important is that you’re stepping on my
Boromir: Sorry, I think we should run!
*Everyone but Gandalf takes off running*
Aragorn: Gandalf, what are you waiting for!
Gandalf: I’m waiting for the CG department to add the Balrog in.
Aragorn: NO TIME!
*They run through a door, then onto a staircase*
Boromir: Whoa! (stairs end)
Legolas: I got you. (Boromir falls on him) Wow, there are fouler things than orcs in the deep places of the world!
Aragorn: What do we do, Gandalf?
Gandalf: I’m gonna fight the Balrog, you just stand around.
*They start running down the stairs*
Boromir: Just our luck, a hole in the stairs!
Legolas: I can simply jump.
Gandalf: Me too.
Boromir: I can too, but I have to take Merry and Pippin!
Aragorn: Just great Boromir, you made the hole bigger.
Sam: Aragorn, you'll have to throw us across!
Aragorn: Sure thing. Just sign this first.
Sam: What is it?
Aragorn: A waiver, just in case I'm a little off (Throws Sam across).
Gimli: I think I'll take my chances jumping. Besides, no one tosses a
Dwarf. (Jumps, nearly falls, Legolas grabs his beard). NOT THE BEARD!
Frodo: Great job, Aragorn, you made the hole even bigger!
Aragorn: I can't help it, that was Sam fault!
*The Balrog is getting closer, a rock breaks another part of the bridge.*
Frodo: Ah! I'm gonna die... and then get sued!
Aragorn: Not today (Aragorn saves the day again).
Gandalf: RUN! Weta Digital almost got the Balrog in!