The Fellowship of the Ring Parody

by Lordofthejedi17

Part 26

*Arwen heads for the ford.*

Arwen: La, la, la, just running on my horse...

Nazgul 1: Hi! We are the Nazgul, you will be assimilated! Resistance is futile!

Arwen: What is this! Lord of the Rings or Star Trek?

Nazgul 1: Well... GIVE US THE RING!

Arwen: No way!

Nazgul 1: The I’ll get all my friends! (All the Nazgul come)

Arwen: Ahhh!!!!! Run faster!!!!! (hears horns) Lunch Break!

*All the horses stop and eat Lunch*

Witch-King: Lets see what I got today... (Opens his lunch box) Ohhhh... I told my wife to to cut my peanut butter and jelly sandwich in half across, not diagonally!

Nazgul 1: (Looking at his watch) Oh, come on, lets take the Hobbit!

Witch-King: (Packing his mouth) Not while I’m eating!

Arwen: I packed a lunch today! (Takes off)

Nazgul 1: She tricked us!

*The Nazgul take off after Arwen. She reaches a river and crosses it.*

Arwen: Ha, I’m safe!

Nazgul 2: You ruined our lunch breaks!

Witch-King: Yeh, so give us the Hobbit, She-elf!

Nazgul 1: We’ll take you to Mordor!

Arwen: Do go there with me! Come and get the Hobbit then!

Witch-King: Ok. (The Nazgul go into the river)

Arwen: (in elvish) Computer experts of Weta Digital, create a lot of CG water to wipe out the Nazgul.

All the Nazgul: AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!


Frodo: Ohhhh...

*Screen fades white*

Frodo: Oh, my eyes hurt from this white fade-out.

Elrond: (in elvish) Mr. Anderson, welcome.

Part 27

*Fades into Frodo in bed.*

Frodo: Hey... where am I, and am I getting sued?

Gandalf: You're in Rivendell: exposition capital of Middle-Earth and no, we saved you from the lawyers.

Frodo: Gandalf, you’re late! What day is it?

Gandalf: October 24th, 3018 T.A.

Frodo: OHHHH!!!! I missed the clearance sale at Hobbits R’ Us! Hold on, how did you get off that tower?

Gandalf: This flashback will show you.

*Shows flashback of Saruman and Gandalf fighting.*

Gandalf: Ouch!

Saruman: Turn to the dark side, master Gandalf! Oh, welcome to the flashback. I'm the guy that captured Gandalf while you guys were in Bree.

Gandalf: Hey, you know something Saruman? Just like you lost Obi-Wan in Star Wars, you will lose me too.

Saruman: How?

Gwaihir the Eagle: Hi, I'm here to rescue Gandalf.

Gandalf jumps onto Gwaihir and flies off.

Saruman: Stupid moth!

*Cuts back to Frodo in bed.*

Frodo: Wow, cool!

Gandalf: Yep, Frodo.


Gandalf: Sam stayed by your side the whole time you were here.

Frodo: Aww, that's so nice.

Sam: I was reading up legal stuff just in case New Line decided to sue you.

Gandalf: Merry and Pippin made it here alive, too.

Frodo: ehhhh...

Elrond: Hello, Mr. And... Frodo!!

*Shows beauty shot of Rivendell*

Frodo: Just love the Elves with Hobbit railings.

Merry and Pippin: HI, Frodo.

Frodo: Yeh, yeh... (Sees Bilbo) BILBO!!!

Bilbo: Yeh, Frodo, its me. Check out my book.

Frodo: You copied The Hobbit.

Bilbo: Well, that what’s The Hobbit is about!

Frodo: Well, I wanted to make a Hobbit story too, but I got stabbed and sued. I’m not you Bilbo.

Sam is packing his bags.

Frodo: Where are you going Sam?

Sam: To the boardroom to see in the boss is gonna fire me or not.

Frodo: Don’t worry, he won’t. But if he does, I’ll go dump this ring in the trash and come with you. I might have better luck on the return journey.

Part 28

*Elrond and Gandalf are talking*

Elrond: Who should I fire?

Gandalf: None on them, fire Bilbo, he’s useless.

Elrond: Still after half a movie, the Hobbit got the ring yet. What should we do with it?

Gandalf: We have to return it to the store, its the wrong size.

Elrond: The store won’t take it back, I lost the receipt. Weren’t you saying that the ring’s warranty will expire soon?

Gandalf: It expires April 1st of next year. And if we oh, destroy the ring, we would get a huge amount of money.

Elrond: Cool! I owe alot of taxes and unpaid parking tickets.

*Boromir, Legolas, Gimli, and others enter.*

Gandalf: Who invited them?

Elrond: I did, we need them for the fellowship. So I holding a big party later. I’m leaving this shore.

Gandalf: Yeh, I know, that river can give you a headache.

Elrond: No! I’m leaving Middle-earth and going to Left-earth, where there are no tax collectors. Hey Gandalf, care for some back story?

Gandalf: Since I already know this stuff anyway... sure.

Elrond: Men are dumb, Isildur could’ve stopped this story before it ever got off the ground.

*Shows a flashback scene of Elrond and Isildur.*

Isildur: Ummm... CHOP YOUR FINGERS OFF!!

Sauron: Why did you do that. (runs away crying)

Isildur: Hmm... he left his ring here. Nice writing on it, i’m gonna take it.

Elrond: Isildur, come with me.

Elrond leads Isildur into the Cracks of Doom.

Elrond: Throw it in!

Isildur: Yo, this is a flashback scene and there is a movie revolving around this ring, so no. Its mine, my own, my precious! So why don’t you run off to your little Validor and play around.

Elrond: See, Gandalf? Isildur kept the ring and we got a movie now.

Gandalf: There is "you know who", he could become king of men give Sauron what he needs, a good kick in the rear! He’s in the next scene.