The Fellowship of the Ring Parody

by Lordofthejedi17

Part 24

*Cuts back to Isengard where all the trees are gone and there are caves. Gandalf is still on top of the Tower.*

Gandalf: Wow, lot of caves and no trees, what does this remind me of? (A moth comes) Get away, stupid moth! Hold on, (catches moth) I need you to... (whispers to moth who takes off) And make it fast!

*Back in the caves, orcs are making sword and helmets. At the very bottom of the caves, orcs are growing something in the floor.*

Orc 1: What are we growing?

Saruman: Like I know... the producers never told me!

*Lurtz the Uruk-Hai comes out of the mud and kill one of the Orcs.*

Lurtz: Hi, I’m the new guy.

The Orcs go to the book.

Orc 1: Hey, I can’t find this guy in the book!

Saruman: I don’t think you’ll find him.

Orc 1: Well, I’ll find him!!!!!!

Saruman: Go right ahead, then!

Lurtz: Ohhhh... Let me go find the ring!!!!

Saruman: When the time comes...

Part 25

*Cuts over to Trollshaws forest. Frodo is laying on the ground.*

Frodo: Oh, look its those trolls that Bilbo fought in The Hobbit...

Sam: Hey Frodo, we just found a whole bunch of swords and...

Frodo: Sam, this is Lord of the Rings, not The Hobbit!

Sam: Oh, (Throws swords out) well... you’re freezing Frodo, have you been in the Freezer again?

Frodo: No Sam... ohhhhhh...

Pippin: Is he gonna die?

Strider: Of course not, he’s under an ironclad contract.

*The group hears a Nazgul screech.*

Nazgul 1: Hello? Hello?

Merry: Oh, that's just great! Why can’t these trolls be around now, when you really need them!

Strider: Sam, go find some kings foil weed.

Sam: Why?

Strider: Because I told you to! Hurry!

*Strider and Sam find some Kings foil. Tom Bombadil and Glorfindel enters.*

Tom Bombadil: I never was told why I was cut from the movie!

Glorfindel: Because we want the scariest character to be Sauron! Ha, at least they didn’t cut me out and...

Strider: (looking at the script) Actually, they did cut you out.

Glorfindel: WHAT! I’m too important to the story! How does the story work without me?

Legolas: They use me and...

Strider: Ummm... Legolas, it isn’t you either.

Glorfindel and Legolas: Then who is it?

Arwen: Hi...

Tom Bombadil: I’m going to “talk “ to the director!

Glorfindel: Ummm... I think I will to... TOM, WAIT UP!

Strider: That got rid of them. Oh Arwen...

Frodo: Hate to break up your little meeting, but if you don’t save me soon, I’m gonna get sued!

Arwen: Well, that’s a mood killer!

Strider picks up Frodo and puts him on Arwen’s horse.

Strider: Quick Arwen, you take Frodo to Rivendell. We'll wait here.

Arwen: Won't the Ringwraiths get you here?

Strider: Don't worry. They'll ignore us until they consider us a threat.

Arwen: (in elvish) Well, nice seeing you.

Strider: (in elvish) I don’t understand a single word of what you’re saying.

Merry: Where are you taking him?

Strider: Like I know! Arwen, get out of here, don’t look back... don’t look back...

Arwen: Don’t look back? What are we making here? Lord of the Rings or a remake of Star Wars Episode I?

Pippin: Can I get some more lines in this scene?

*Arwen leaves, Sam complains.*

Sam: They’re gonna get assimilated by the Nazgul-Borg!