The Fellowship of the Ring Parody

by Lordofthejedi17

Part 22


*Cuts to Isengard where Saruman is hovering his and over the Palantir.*

Saruman: Hey, Sauron! Hello? Its Saruman, the Wizard of Oz! (Shows the Palantir with the words: Please insert CG Eye here) Hello?

Eye of Sauron: Hey, old man, I need a... (cuts to some automated voice) If you wish to keep talking, please deposit 25 cents now.

Saruman: Darn Numenorens! The only people who have to make a pay-Palantir! (deposits 25 cents) For an island that is sunk, they sure make alot of money! Sauron, are you still there?

Eye of Sauron: Ok, I need a big army that can be killed easily.

Saruman: That will take a entire movie to do.

Eye of Sauron: Then get to work, old man!

*Shows Saruman sitting as several orcs enter.*

Orc 1: Hey, what does the Eye want?

Saruman: The Eye wants us to make an army for the next movie.

*The Orcs start to pull down trees. Gandalf wakes up on top of the tower.*


Gandalf: Ohhh... I got a headache. Man its raining, and what's all that sound?

Gandalf watches the Orcs pull down the trees. Saruman comes up to the orcs.

Orc 1: Hey, it was raining in the previous scene, but now its not!

Saruman: Its magic, and now it will rain.

Orc 2: Hey, stop talking about rain, we got to pull all these trees down and have a bunch of caves running by the next scene!

Back on top of the tower...

Gandalf: Well, I should not have worn my dry-clean only clothes.


Part 23

*Strider and the Hobbits reach Weathertop.*

Strider: Here it is, Weathertop, it has the only working bathroom in Middle-earth.

*The Hobbits take off their bags and lay down. Strider unwraps 4 swords.*

Strider: Oh, I happen to have 4 hobbits swords on me for some reason. You want them?

Merry and Pippin: OK!

Strider: Do you actually think I would give you two swords? I don’t trust you with twigs!

Merry and Pippin: OHHHHHHHH...

Strider: I’m going somewhere...

Sam: Where?

Strider: I’m going back to the Prancing Pony... and no, Sam, you can’t come!

*Frodo wakes up as Sam, Merry and Pippin are cooking.*

Frodo: Hey, what are you doing?

Merry: We’re eating, and attracting Ringwraiths!

Frodo: NOOOOOO!!!! (Steps on fire) OWWW!!!

Merry: You got ash on my Bacon!!!!

The Nazgul screech. Frodo and the others walk to the top of the tower.

Frodo: Ok, we’ll use these little Hobbit swords against 7-foot Nazguls... is anyone else guessing the odd?

Merry: (In Spock voice) The odds that we will get away from the Nazgul is 1,345,125 to 1 and...

Frodo: Merry, shut up.

The Witch-King and 4 other Nazgul enter.

Nazgul 1: I told you that I would get my boss!

Frodo: I’m not scared of him!

Nazgul 2: (In Yoda voice) You will be, you will be...

Frodo: Don’t make me laugh!!!!!


Witch-King: I'll make you laugh, how many hobbits does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Frodo: Ummm...

Witch-King: 4, one to screw the bulb in and the other 3 to hold the first one up!

Pippin: I don’t get it.

Nazgul 1: Then eat our swords!!!

The Nazgul hold up there swords at the Hobbits.

Sam: I’ll face you all, I challenge you to a duel!

Nazgul 2 knocks Sam, Merry and Pippin out of the way.

Sam: (crying) No Fair!!!!!

Frodo: Ohhh... (Drops sword) I know, I’ll put the ring on!

Witch-King: Ring? What Ring?

Frodo: You never told me, who are you?

Witch-King: My name is King, Witch-King. I’m here to get that ring back!

The Witch-King draws a Morgul Blade.

Witch-King: Check out my Hobbit sword.

Frodo: Tell you what... I’ll give you the ring... When Mordor freezes over!

*Frodo puts the ring on. He goes into the Twilight World.*

Frodo: Oh my, they really are movie extras gone bad!

Witch-King: Actually, I’m an actor... and I still want that ring!

Frodo: NO! I already told you...

Witch-King: (Holds up blade) Then I’ll stab... (Cellphone rings) Hold on, ohhh, its my Wife, the Witch-Queen! (answers Cellphone) Yes, well I’m in the middle of something, NOT I’M NOT!!! Ok, I’ll be right home, you want milk? Ok, I’ll pick up a gallon...

Frodo: Hey, you’re wasting my time!!!!

Witch-King: Ohhh, sorry. (Stab Frodo in the shoulder) There!

Frodo: OWWW!!! THAT REALLY HURT, I’M GONNA HAVE A LUMP THERE!

Strider: Never fear! Strider is here!

Witch-King: Uh oh!

Strider starts attacking the Nazgul with fire.

Nazgul 1: Hey, you lit my brand new cloak on fire!

*Frodo pulls off the Ring. Strider drives off the Nazgul!*

Sam: Houston, we got a problem here!

Strider: Oh, Frodo been stabbed by a Morgul Blade. Now watch it will turn into CG dust. (Blade turns into dust) See?

Sam: What about Frodo?

Strider: Why are you telling me? I’m not a doctor!

Sam: Do you know any?

Strider: Well, he can go to my doctor, Elrond of Rivendell.

Pippin: Is that the same Elrond from The Hobbit? He’s a doctor now!

Strider picks up Frodo and they leave Weathertop.

Sam: Frodo will never make it! Rivendell is 15 minutes screentime away!

Frodo: GANDALF, GET OFF THAT TOWER!!!!!