The Fellowship of the Ring Parody
*The Gatekeeper gets up and walks over to the gate.*
Witch-King: Hi, can we bust the door down and kill you?
Witch-King’s Horse: FORGET IT! (Busts gate down, Witch-king and 4 other Nazgul come into Bree.)
Witch-King: Lets stop at the Bar!
*Witch-King and the other Nazgul walks into the Prancing Pony, Butterbur is under a table.*
Butterbur: (on the phone) HELP! Peter Jackson, HELP ME! (Witch-King sees him) Oh!
Witch-King: Hi, my name is King, Witch-King and I’m looking for a Baggins. He has a ring that belongs to my boss.
Butterbur: He’s upstairs and to the left!
*One of the other Nazgul grabs him.*
Butterbur: OK, THE RIGHT!
Witch-King: Thanks... we’ll just go upstairs and kil... talk to Baggins!
Butterbur: Ok, (gets back on phone and calls someone else) Hey, Harry Potter, its Hagrid, I need your help...
*The Hobbits are in bed. The Nazgul enter.*
Nazgul 1: Hey, lets stab the beds.
Nazgul 2: Nah, lets pull an Othello instead.
Nazgul 1: Its the blades, W-king said so!
Sam: (talking in his sleep) Hmmm... No! No! DON’T! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Nazgul 1: STAB! (Stabs the beds, then pull away the blankets to see
only pillows.) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The boss won’t be happy about this!
*The Hobbits awake in another room with Strider.*
Merry, Pippin and Sam: What the...
Frodo: What are they?
Strider: They were once movie extras, great movie extras. Then Peter
Jackson the deceiver gave to them 9 fat paychecks to be in this movie.
Blinded by greed, they took them without question, one by one, falling
into the rolls.
Frodo: Hmmm... oh, I fell asleep!
*Strider and the Hobbits leave Bree*
Frodo: Where are you taking us?
Strider: Somewhere. (hits the camera)
Cameraman: Ow! Strider! That really hurt!
Strider: Shut up!
Sam: Are we sure to trust this guy?
Frodo: The Screen Actor’s Guild said we had to!
Sam: Where is he taking us?
Strider: I’m taking you to Rivendell, fat boy!
Sam: Rivendell? Are we doing a remake of The Hobbit?