The Fellowship of the Ring Parody
*Gandalf rides to Isengard.*
Saurman: (voice over) This is a boring voice-over. Well, Gandalf is here...
Gandalf: Count Dooku... I MEANT SAURMAN!
*Saurman and Gandalf are walking.*
Saurman: So you found the ring, can I have it?
Gandalf: NO! It was at 5 Bag End Road all this time when we searching the insides of are pockets.
Saurman: Wow, are you done?
Gandalf: Yes... But we need to overthrow Sauron before we get too far into this movie...
Saurman: Its too late!
*Saurman and Gandalf are in a room inside the tower.*
Saurman: Sauron has regained all his strength. He’s still a sprit, but
he can see everything. His sight goes though everything: Clouds, dirt,
and shadow. He can even see if your are wearing boxers or briefs. Its a
big CG eye.
Gandalf: The Eye of Sauron...
Saurman: He’s got all evil: Orcs, Siths, Klingons, and... Borg!
Gandalf: How do you know all this? Did you go to Mordor?
*Gandalf and Saurman walk into a another room with a Palantir.*
Gandalf: You didn’t?
Saurman: Yes, I did! I used the Palantir.
Gandalf: You’ve lost your mine! What else did you see?
Saurman: That the ring’s 5000 year warranty is gonna expire next March...
Gandalf: Yes, finally, the ring could be destroyed and claimed under warranty to pay for the broken sword!
Saurman: You still going on about the sword! Besides, the Nazgul are after the ring! They will kill who or what has the ring!
Gandalf: FRODO! (runs for the door, but Saurman slams shut all the door)
Saurman: Did you really think a Hobbit will claim the ring’s under warranty? Nobody can! I’m turning over to the Dark side!
Saurman: Because my name and Sauron’s name are almost the same... So...
you must join me, Obi-Wan and together, we will destroyed the Sith!
Gandalf: I’ll never join you, Count Saurman!
Saurman: HOW DARE YOU CALL ME THAT! (sends Gandalf flying into the wall, then drops him)
Gandalf and Saurman fight with magic.
Saurman: It is obvious that this contest cannot be decided by our
knowledge of the Force, but by our skills with a lightsaber. (pulls out
Gandalf: Saurman, this is Lord of the Rings, not Star Wars and Peter Jackson is directing, not George Lucas!
Saurman: HOW DARE YOU AGAIN! (sends Gandalf flying up to the top of the tower)
*Cuts over to corn field*
Sam: Mr. Frodo? Mr. Frodo! FRODO! (Frodo comes running)
Sam: You didn’t answer when I yelled... (says something very bad under his breath)
Frodo: WHAT! Sam, (in Donald Trump accent) You’re fired!
Sam: (crying) You can’t fire me, I quit! I’m turning around!
Frodo: (drawing his sword) Oh no, your not!
Sam: Frodo, we don’t get are swords until 30 minutes from now when we’re on Weathertop.
Frodo: Oops (throws sword out) Now, Sam what’s your problem?
Sam: I just noticed that we’re 50 minutes into the movie, we’re still
in the Shire, we don’t got any Fellowship and we only got 2 more movies
to get that ring to Mordor! Don’t you see it? The screen time is taking
you, Mr. Frodo, we got to get the Fellowship... (Merry and Pippin run
Pippin: Oh, Frodo!
Merry: Hey, Frodo, remember us? We’re the ones that lit that firework inside the tent at the party 17 years ago!
Sam: Oh, you two. Aren’t you still scrubbing all those portapottys from that time?
Merry: We stopped the moment Gandalf left...
Sam: Are you stealing all of Farmer Maggot’s crop again?
Pippin: That’s what you think! There all wax! Ha!
Farmer Maggot: Hey, come back here! I know it was you who left this copy of the script!
Sam: (Holding all the crop) Oh NO! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......
Merry: Why is he upset?
Pippin: Maybe its the Elf Money we gave him once... or the McLembas Map of Middle-Earth we gave him?
*Frodo, Merry, and Pippin stop at the edge of a cliff.*
Pippin: Either that’s a Solar eclipse or that’s Sam coming!!
Frodo, Merry, and Pippin: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
*Sam runs into them and they all fall down the cliff.*
Pippin: (looking at a pile of poo) Oh, that was close.
Merry: Oh, I broke something. (Pulls out carrot) My lucky carrot!
Sam: Oh, FOOL OF A TOOK! I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore...
Pippin: Hey, what did I do? Besides, we’re now in... New Zealand!
Frodo: Sam, get off of me or we’re gonna end up in China!
Sam: Sorry... (gets up)
Pippin: Hey, A short cut to Mushrooms!
Sam and Merry push Pippin down to run over to the Mushrooms.
Sam: Be careful, those are poisonus, those are halucanagentic...
Frodo: Guys, we should get off the road. (sees strange stuff) GET OFF THE ROAD, NOW!
Merry: Frodo, are you eating the halucanagentic Mushrooms again?
Frodo: NOOOOOOOO!!!!! A NAZGUL!!!!!!!!!
Merry, Pippin and Sam: Ahhhhhhh!!!!
*All the Hobbits hide in a tree root. Nazgul comes*
Nazgul: Hmmm... (starts Darth Vader breathing) I sense something. (gets
off his horse and bows down to the tree root.) Hmm... I smell
Frodo: Hey, put the George Forman Grill out!
Merry: (Big spider comes walking out on his shoulder) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
I HATE SPIDERS! (Gets out from the tree root and pulls off all his clothes) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Nazgul: Hey, get back in the tree root!
Frodo: I will put the ring on now!
Sam: NO! (Merry throws bag, Nazgul goes after it)
Nazgul’s horse: Hey, there running away.
Nazgul: I’m not falling for that one again!
The Hobbits run away until there ten feet away.
Nazgul: Hey, I can still see you!
All the Hobbits: Oops! (they all run a little further)
Pippin: What was that?
Frodo: Hey, do you see a grey hat on me?
Pippin: Yeh! (pointing at hat)
Frodo: Oh, Gandalf gave it to me...