Boromir Experiences the Power of Cheese

by Linaewen


Boromir and Frodo are out in the yard, busily correographing their fight scene on Amon Hen.

Boromir: ...Right, so I have just said "You fool" and I am quite irritated...

Frodo: Angry, in fact.

Boromir: Well, yes, angry...and I start coming at you. You back away, and I will run towards you, shouting then you turn to run, and then you fall down.

Frodo: (sighing) Right, I fall down. That sounds familiar. Do I have to fall down this time? Maybe if I just trip and catch myself?

Boromir: Frodo, we are all afraid of falling down, but this task is appointed for you; if you do not do it, nobody will.

Frodo looks doubtful. Boromir sighs and thinks for a moment.

Boromir: Well, how about if I trip you up, then you fall? (Frodo hesitates.) All right, I will fall down as well...on my face.

Frodo: (smiling) It's a deal! So, you trip me up, then what?

At that moment, Linaewen walks by, carrying a picnic basket and a lawn chair.

Lin: What are you two up to?

Boromir: We are rehearsing today's inkling. (Boromir catches sight of the picnic basket.) What is this?

Lin: This is a picnic basket, full of nice things to eat for the picnic I'm going on today.

Frodo: Picnic? That sounds like fun. When is this picnic?

Lin: After the parade.

Boromir looks at Linaewen suspiciously.

Boromir: Parade? You said nothing about a parade today. What sort of a parade?

Lin: It's a parade in honor of Memorial Day, a holiday that remembers those who have fought in our wars. It also is a good day
 to have a family picnic in the park, so that's what this basket of food is for.

Boromir: (frowning fiercely) So! This is another one of those Monday holidays, is it not?

Lin: Well...yes.

Boromir: And do you plan to post our new chapter today?

Lin: (looking somewhat embarrassed) Well, the truth is, I'm not quite ready, so I thought I'd take the day off and post it on Tuesday instead.
Besides, I'll be away for most of the day, at the parade and then at the picnic in the park. Better to wait until tomorrow I think.

Boromir sighs heavily.

Boromir: So you were going to go out for the day...without me?

Lin: (looking aghast) Boromir! You know I never go anywhere without you, of course you're coming with me!

Boromir, mollifed, pulls Frodo forward.

Boromir: And Frodo?

Lin: (smiling) Of course Frodo is invited, I'd love for him to come with us.

Suddenly there is a rustling noise in a nearby bush, and Sam jumps out. He runs to stand in front of Frodo, keeping one eye on the picnic basket.

Sam: Here! Mr. Frodo's not going anywhere without me!

Sam has no sooner finished speaking, then Merry and Pippin run up, pushing past Boromir to stand beside Frodo and Sam.

Merry: Wait! We're coming, too! You'll have to tie us up in a sack to keep us from coming!

Linaewen: No need for that, you are all welcome to come along.

Pippin: Where are we going?

Frodo: To a parade, and then a picnic.

Boromir shakes his head doubtfully and starts to speak, but he is interrupted by Pippin.

Pippin: A picnic! Very good! I'm feeling a bit eleven o'clockish. So what's for luncheon?

Lin: Well, there will be lots and lots of good food...bratwurst...cheese...All the good things Wisconsin is famous for.

Boromir: (puzzled) Bratwurst?

Sam: It's a kind of sausage, very tasty!

Lin: Shall we be on our way then? The parade will start soon and the Linaewen family is waiting.

The hobbits run off, but Boromir hesitates.

Boromir: I feel like I am shirking my duty to our story. Our readers will be most disappointed.....but...You did say there would be cheese?

Linaewen rummages in the picnic basket and pulls out a package and waves it under Boromir's nose, before
returning it to the basket.

Lin: Of course; it wouldn't be a proper picnic without cheese! And it's your favorite kind, too.

Boromir: (looking hopeful) You mean...

Linaewen: Yes, sharpe cheddar.

Boromir: Ahhhh!

Story forgotten, Boromir takes the basket and lawn chair from Linaewen, and offering her his other arm, they follow after the hobbits.