The Lord of the Coffee

In no particular order, by Lothithil mostly, with various others stirred in.
(Collected by Lothithil, Onone, and Primula)

Coffee in Ithilien

NescaFrodo yawned and stretched. 'You should have been resting, Sanka,' he said. 'And making coffee is dangerous in these parts. But I do feel thirsty. Hmmm! Can I smell it from here? What have you brewed?'

'A present from Smeagollatte', said Sanka: 'A brace of young Columbian Coffee beans; though I fancy Gulp'um's regretting them now. But there is naught to go with them but a few Elf-biscotti.'

Coffee in the Dead Marshes

Smeagollatte:  "The Dregs Marshes, yes that is their name! Don't follow the lights! The candles of corpse-cafe!"
Sanka:  "The drinkers can't really be there, after all this time in line at StarBrandybucks!!"

NescaFrodo:  "They lie in the pools of caffeine. I have seen them. Their faces pale and fair, with coffee grounds in their hair... but all dunked, all creamed, all decafed!"

Coffee in the Morannon

"The Black Coffee of Mordor!"  whined Smeagollatte.
Sanka peered out at the sight with puckered eyes.  "We can't get danish with that!" he said with dispair, then "Look! The cafe... it's opening! I can see biscotti...aaarrrrggghhh!!"

NescaFrodo leans over the brink and calls frantically, "Sanka!! Don't forget the scones!!"