Frodo: Gandalf!
Sam: What is it, Mr. Frodo?
Frodo: Nothing. Just COFFEE.
Éomer: Too long have you watched my COFFEE, too long have you haunted IT’S BEANS.
Legolas: IT runs as if the very whips of IT’S BREWERS were behind it.
Aragorn: Rohan. Home of the COFFEE-lords. There is something strange at work here. Some evil gives speed to THEIR PERCOLATORS, sets its will against us.
Uglúk: What is it? What do you smell?
Maúhur: COFFEE.
Pippin: ILLY!
Frodo: You will lead us to the BLACK COFFEE.
Sam: Mr. Frodo? It’s the COFFEE, isn’t it?
Frodo: It’s getting STRONGER.
Frodo: This is NESTLE. You’ve seen it before, haven’t you... Gollum! Release him or I’ll BREAK your MUG.
Saruman: COFFEE, my lord, is ready to BREW.
Pippin: What’s making that noise?
Merry: It’s the BEANS.
Pippin: What?
Merry: Do you remember the Old COFFEE? On the borders of Buckland? Folk used to say that there was something in the water that made the BEANS grow tall... and come alive.
Pippin: Alive?
Merry: BEANS that could whisper. Talk to each other. Even move.
Uglúk: Looks like COFFEE’s back on the menu, boys!!
Legolas: The red BEAN rises. COFFEE has been spilled this night.
Éomer: What COFFEE does an Elf, a man and a Dwarf have in the
Riddermark? Speak quickly!
Gimli: Give me your COFFEE, Horsemaster, and I shall give you mine.
Éomer: I would cut off your BEANS, Dwarf, if THEY stood but a little higher from the ground.
Legolas: You would die before your COFFEE fell!
Gimli: NESTLE. What madness drove them in there?
Treebeard: COFFEE? Never heard of COFFEE before. Sounds like BEAN mischief to me! They come with MILK, they come with SUGAR. DRINKING, SLURPING, GUZZLING, SPITING, SCULLING! BREWERS and DRINKERS, curse them!
Gollum: Cold be CUP and MUG and SPOON. Cold be BREWERS far from home.
Frodo: He said your COFFEE was a sad story.
Gollum: They do not see what lies ahead, when ROASTER has failed and BEAN is dead.
Gollum: COFFEE! COFFEE on wings!
Legolas: The White COFFEE approaches.
Second batch: I know some of them don't make sense, but 'it's just a bit of fun!'
(This one is after Gimli tells Eowyn that ther are no Dwarf Women and he falls off the horse)
Gimli: It’s alright, it’s alright. Nobody panic. It was decaffeinated. It was decaffeinated.
Aragorn: I am awake. This is coffee.
Arwen: Then it is good coffee. Sleep…
Elrond: Our time here is ending. Arwen’s time is ending. Let her go. Let her take the cup into the cafe. Let her bear away her beans for you to the Undying Lands. There it will be decaffienated.
Aragorn: But never more than instant coffee.
Elrond: I will not leave my daughter here to coffee!
Aragorn: She stays because she still has beans.
Elrond: She stays for YOU! She belongs with her brewer!
Aragorn: I am caffeinated; you are decaffeinated. It was a dream, Arwen, nothing more.
Théoden: What is it? What do you see?
Aragorn: Coffee! We are under attack!
Théoden: You must lead the people to Helm’s Deep. And make coffee!
Théoden:Get the wounded on coffee. The beans of Isengard will return. Leave the dead.
Éowyn: Lord Coffee, where is he?
Gimli: He fell...
Saruman: If the cup is breached, Coffee will fall.
Saruman: A new coffee is brewing. Starbucks is at hand!
Saruman: To coffee!!
Pippin: Look! There’s coffee to the south!
Arwen: I have made my coffee.
Arwen: There is still coffee.
Elrond: Arwen... there is nothing for you here, only coffee.
Frodo: We are coffees of the Shire. Frodo Baggins is my name and this is
Samwise Gamgee.
Faramir: Your grinder?
Sam: His brewer.
Faramir: You were a friend of Coffee?
Frodo: Yes... for my part.
Frodo: Wait! This coffee is bound to me. And I to it. It is our guide. Please, let me go down to it.
Frodo: Don’t hurt him! Coffee don’t struggle! Coffee listen to me!
Gollum: Filthy little coffees. They stole it from us.
Treebeard: My business is with Coffee tonight. With milk and sugar!
Treebeard: Many of these coffees were my friends. Creatures I had known from bean and leaf.
Treebeard: Hoorarooom... Come my friends. The Coffees are going to war. It is likely that we go to our doom. The last march of the Coffees!
Frodo: It’s calling to him, Sam. His coffee is almost on me.
Sam: You want to know what happened to Boromir? You want to know why your brother died? He tried to take the Coffee from Frodo! After swearing an oath to protect him, he tried to kill him! The Coffee drove your brother mad!
Théoden: The coffee is taken. It is over.
Théoden: So much coffee. What can men do against such reckless caffeine?
Treebeard: Break the cup! Release the coffee!
Sam: It’s me. It’s your Coffee. Don’t you know your Coffee?
Théoden: Victory! We have coffee!
Frodo: What are we holding on to, Sam?
Sam: There’s some coffee in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for.
Sam: I wonder if we’ll ever be put into coffee or tea.
Gollum: Coffee broke his promise.
Sméagol: The fat coffee, he knows. He’s always watching.
AND FINALLY:
Sam: I wonder if people will ever say, ‘let’s hear about Nesfrodo and the Coffee.’ And they’ll say ‘yes, that’s one of my favorite stories. Nesfrodo was really courageous, wasn’t he, dad.’ ‘Yes, my boy, the most famousest of beans. And that’s saying a lot.’
Sam: What is it, Mr. Frodo?
Frodo: Nothing. Just COFFEE.
Éomer: Too long have you watched my COFFEE, too long have you haunted IT’S BEANS.
Legolas: IT runs as if the very whips of IT’S BREWERS were behind it.
Aragorn: Rohan. Home of the COFFEE-lords. There is something strange at work here. Some evil gives speed to THEIR PERCOLATORS, sets its will against us.
Uglúk: What is it? What do you smell?
Maúhur: COFFEE.
Pippin: ILLY!
Frodo: You will lead us to the BLACK COFFEE.
Sam: Mr. Frodo? It’s the COFFEE, isn’t it?
Frodo: It’s getting STRONGER.
Frodo: This is NESTLE. You’ve seen it before, haven’t you... Gollum! Release him or I’ll BREAK your MUG.
Saruman: COFFEE, my lord, is ready to BREW.
Pippin: What’s making that noise?
Merry: It’s the BEANS.
Pippin: What?
Merry: Do you remember the Old COFFEE? On the borders of Buckland? Folk used to say that there was something in the water that made the BEANS grow tall... and come alive.
Pippin: Alive?
Merry: BEANS that could whisper. Talk to each other. Even move.
Uglúk: Looks like COFFEE’s back on the menu, boys!!
Legolas: The red BEAN rises. COFFEE has been spilled this night.
Éomer: What COFFEE does an Elf, a man and a Dwarf have in the
Riddermark? Speak quickly!
Gimli: Give me your COFFEE, Horsemaster, and I shall give you mine.
Éomer: I would cut off your BEANS, Dwarf, if THEY stood but a little higher from the ground.
Legolas: You would die before your COFFEE fell!
Gimli: NESTLE. What madness drove them in there?
Treebeard: COFFEE? Never heard of COFFEE before. Sounds like BEAN mischief to me! They come with MILK, they come with SUGAR. DRINKING, SLURPING, GUZZLING, SPITING, SCULLING! BREWERS and DRINKERS, curse them!
Gollum: Cold be CUP and MUG and SPOON. Cold be BREWERS far from home.
Frodo: He said your COFFEE was a sad story.
Gollum: They do not see what lies ahead, when ROASTER has failed and BEAN is dead.
Gollum: COFFEE! COFFEE on wings!
Legolas: The White COFFEE approaches.
Second batch: I know some of them don't make sense, but 'it's just a bit of fun!'
(This one is after Gimli tells Eowyn that ther are no Dwarf Women and he falls off the horse)
Gimli: It’s alright, it’s alright. Nobody panic. It was decaffeinated. It was decaffeinated.
Aragorn: I am awake. This is coffee.
Arwen: Then it is good coffee. Sleep…
Elrond: Our time here is ending. Arwen’s time is ending. Let her go. Let her take the cup into the cafe. Let her bear away her beans for you to the Undying Lands. There it will be decaffienated.
Aragorn: But never more than instant coffee.
Elrond: I will not leave my daughter here to coffee!
Aragorn: She stays because she still has beans.
Elrond: She stays for YOU! She belongs with her brewer!
Aragorn: I am caffeinated; you are decaffeinated. It was a dream, Arwen, nothing more.
Théoden: What is it? What do you see?
Aragorn: Coffee! We are under attack!
Théoden: You must lead the people to Helm’s Deep. And make coffee!
Théoden:Get the wounded on coffee. The beans of Isengard will return. Leave the dead.
Éowyn: Lord Coffee, where is he?
Gimli: He fell...
Saruman: If the cup is breached, Coffee will fall.
Saruman: A new coffee is brewing. Starbucks is at hand!
Saruman: To coffee!!
Pippin: Look! There’s coffee to the south!
Arwen: I have made my coffee.
Arwen: There is still coffee.
Elrond: Arwen... there is nothing for you here, only coffee.
Frodo: We are coffees of the Shire. Frodo Baggins is my name and this is
Samwise Gamgee.
Faramir: Your grinder?
Sam: His brewer.
Faramir: You were a friend of Coffee?
Frodo: Yes... for my part.
Frodo: Wait! This coffee is bound to me. And I to it. It is our guide. Please, let me go down to it.
Frodo: Don’t hurt him! Coffee don’t struggle! Coffee listen to me!
Gollum: Filthy little coffees. They stole it from us.
Treebeard: My business is with Coffee tonight. With milk and sugar!
Treebeard: Many of these coffees were my friends. Creatures I had known from bean and leaf.
Treebeard: Hoorarooom... Come my friends. The Coffees are going to war. It is likely that we go to our doom. The last march of the Coffees!
Frodo: It’s calling to him, Sam. His coffee is almost on me.
Sam: You want to know what happened to Boromir? You want to know why your brother died? He tried to take the Coffee from Frodo! After swearing an oath to protect him, he tried to kill him! The Coffee drove your brother mad!
Théoden: The coffee is taken. It is over.
Théoden: So much coffee. What can men do against such reckless caffeine?
Treebeard: Break the cup! Release the coffee!
Sam: It’s me. It’s your Coffee. Don’t you know your Coffee?
Théoden: Victory! We have coffee!
Frodo: What are we holding on to, Sam?
Sam: There’s some coffee in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for.
Sam: I wonder if we’ll ever be put into coffee or tea.
Gollum: Coffee broke his promise.
Sméagol: The fat coffee, he knows. He’s always watching.
AND FINALLY:
Sam: I wonder if people will ever say, ‘let’s hear about Nesfrodo and the Coffee.’ And they’ll say ‘yes, that’s one of my favorite stories. Nesfrodo was really courageous, wasn’t he, dad.’ ‘Yes, my boy, the most famousest of beans. And that’s saying a lot.’
