The Entwife was strolling along
quite happily when all of a sudden she stopped dead in her tracks. What
saw was nothing other than horrific!!!
There it was....as plain as the bark on her face.....someone, or
had scraped onto a rock the words "Harry Potter Rulz!"!!!
looked around in time to see a geeky looking kid with black rimmed
stealing away........"wingardium leviosa, wingardium leviosa!" he kept
The Entwife couldn't believe it....time to make like a tree and leave,
It was a long ride to Isenguard,
and Elladan settled down into the rhythm of his horse, watching all the
around alertly. Elrohir sat side-saddle in his horse,
reading a huge book
and munching on an apple.
Finally after many miles, Elladan's curiosity was aroused. "What
is that, the new Harry Potter book?"
"Nope," said Elrohir, and he tosses his apple core and hits his bother
the head with it. "This, my dim-witted and flea-beleagured
brother, is the
script for LOTR, the movie. I 'borrowed' it from one of those
- in - waiting that always hang aroung Arwen and try to steal
"That is great! Now we can go and be where ever the action is!"
Elladan reaches for the book, but Elrohir holds it outside of his
"Not so fast, Lembas-breath! We gotta plan this carefully.
Let's deliver this blasted message first and then we will go and
fun. According to this," he waves the book temptingly under
and snatches it away again, "There is supposed to be quite a party up
Eriador, in a little tavern where I used to pick up... er, where I used
go to Ranger-moots. It is called the Prancing Pony."
"Coolness! You are the greatest, Elroy!"
"You're not so bad yourself, Elldorf!"
"Elrohir, don't call me that."
horses' hooves devoured the gound as the land of Hollin sped away below
and the last mountain that sheltered the tower of Isengard grew tall on
Tom Bombadil stopped short . . . . the
guy was doing Bambi style eyes . . . . . .he tried to tear away
but found himself drawn to them . . . . .
nooooo . . . tiddly berry . . nope . .. ..
*struggles to resist*
awwwh gosh, I'll get you out just stop with the eyes already . . . .
please . . . stop piddly pom.
(darn that pooh . . . he cant get that song outta his head . . . )
*looks around for somthing to aid him, spots sword in the tramps side
grabs it . . .raises it . . . . .and prepares to amputate*
*the sword comes crashing down................*
Meanwhile, back at the Hedge...
Fredegar waved vaguely at the darkness under
the trees of the Old Forest. "Glad I'm not going in there..." he
"and they'll be wishing they stayed behind with me before long, I'll
He turned back toward the gate just in time to hear it clang-to.
His heart froze as he began to run. "Oh, no! Now what was that
His mind raced to remember all the things he'd seen Mr. Merry do to get
the Buckland Bounder... password, secret sign, hand-shake, decoder
and just as he was reaching for the bell he heard a most terrifying
<insert terrified screech>
Aragorn jerked himself up and bonked the little man over the head. Tom
over backwards and did a triple somersault into a stream.
blinked and looked down at his muddy arm. It was out of the hole all
but he wasn't sure if it was completely attached from the feel of it.
Frodo adjusted the straps on his
light pack and looked up at the dark trees above them. They
the color of the ones on the map, but he was pretty sure it was the
forest anyway. Merry's little hidden way through the Hedge had
full of prickly twigs and aphids for his liking, but he was glad they
on their way in spite of having to deal with Merry and Pippin tagging
Maybe he and Sam could lose them later on.
He looked back at the Hedge where Merry and Pippin were struggling with
pack ponies trying to get them the rest of the way in. He pulled
brownie out of his pocket and chewed on it thoughtfully. "Which
we go?" he called to them. "These trees all look alike in the dark,
the sun will be rising before too much longer... Sam, where's the
Tom: *choke, spluttter . . . . nurses sore head . . . .*
OW ho derry derry, what on earth was that for . . . . .
*grabs The newly feed, undeniably strong and obviously tetchy blokes
arm and yanks it . . . . . *
. . .a shiver ran through the forest at the word
Quick, sound the alarm! These folks who are dripping "Brownie
on our nice clean floor are thinking of lighting a fire!!
You there, Aphids! Quit bothering these creatures and go find
The aphids, including their tiny Queen, roll 5 of their 6 eyes, leaving
one on the brownie . . .
Yes, I know what he's doing . . . it is what they ALL do in the
We'll deal with that later! Tell him to put on that tacky
hat of his and high-tail it to the clearing!
Tiffany, Queen of the Aphids, adjusted her tiny tiara, and replied
'First, Old Forest' she said, in a pouty voice 'I think you forgot to
Old Forest dropped a maple seed, sending it whirling like a blade of
through the swarm of aphids guarding Tiffany. The queen, seeing
pouty voice wasn't going to work, pushed her tiny tiara down over her
and in her best brooklyn accent responded
Time and kindling are wasting, you old tinderbox! Forget saying
and just help us out with the ants. You know what they do to
us and treat us like cattle. I won't even go into how humiliating
is to be attached to an ant-sized milking machine. We will get
the bear, and you will get us and aardvark. Otherwise, we
use our tiny wings and fan the flames!!!
Relenting, the forest promised to find them an aardvark (whatever that
Tiffany agreed to it and called to her troops
"All right, flyboys! Operation Send Smokey is underwing. I
feel the need for speed!
And with that, the aphids swarmed into the night . . .
...back at the Gap of
Rohan, hundreds of leagues and several area codes away....
The two half-elven brothers rode on for
a while without speaking, the only sound was the beat of their horses's
and the low rummbling sound of thunder that grew louder the closer they
to the Wizard's Vale.
After a while, Elladan asked, "Elrohir,
what if this Saurman chappie wants us to take a message back to Elrond?
know that will mean that Ada will send us back again with another note,
and we could be at this for weeks."
"No problem! We just drop it off with Lindar as we ride past
He can deliver the message to El-dad, and if there is another
note to carry,
then Figwit can deliver it or something. It's not like he is busy
"Elrond will not be pleased if we don't deliver it ourselves."
Elrohir snorts with laughter, "Like he wasn't pleased when we let those
dwarves into Rivendell 60 years ago? Lucky that Gandalf and that
hobbit fellow Bilbo was with 'em, or we would still be grounded."
Elladan shuddered, remembering their father's ire at finding the
teeming with Dwarves. He laughed then, "Heh heh! I guess
you are right,
El. Dadrond always did have a rather limited sense of humour.
is the tower of Orthanc at last! Give me the message, Elrohir!
to deliver the last one."
"Did not! You did! It is my turn."
"Awww, come on... you got to go visit Grandma Galadriel last time Arwen
needed an escort."
"So? I had to sit for hours and listen to Grampa Celeborn drone
on and on
about his new tailor and his stupid cow-lick and how he gets his hair
hang straight; as if I care!"
"How about I deliver this message, and you can deliver the next two...
"Deal!" Elrohir rummaged in his saddlebag and came out with the
roll of parchment and handed it to his brother. "Just make it
We don't want the party to start without us!"
A figure standing
in the dark recesses of a window high in the tower watches the brothers
then slowly closes the heavy shutter with a soft *clang*...
Aragorn nearly tripped over Tom
as he turned back to the trees. The little man yanked on his arms hard,
Aragorn whacked him over the head again, but he wouldn't let go. He
kept on tugging and yammering something about a "Hay Doll" and lilies
Finally Aragorn managed to pry him off of his arm climbed a tree until
Tom went away.
Frodo popped the last of the brownie
into his mouth, not realizing he'd eaten an aphid with it, thereby
a martyr for Tiffany's cause. He flicked the crumbs off his
bent to pry lumps of mud off of his cuffs, unaware of the squadron that
over his head into the waning darkness. His hands were cold and he
see a thing.
"Sam! The lantern!" he snapped a bit impatiently. "And be
it has a good bright, hot, crackling, flame. "
The Old forest, frightened
by Frodo's call, became incontinent and let loose a storm of acorns
above the hobbits. Poor Sam, he never knew what hit him.
Sam had been scrambling to get his lantern when....."Ooghf!"
He suddenly was trapped under a pile of acorns. All he could hear were
people running over to help him, one of them trying to hold laughs in,
other two giggling insanely.
All they could hear was a muffled....
When they had finally gotton the acorns off of Sam, he stood up and
looked around. He looked up, and down, everywhere.
"What in Middle Earth? Where did those come fr...." he stopped
He heard a rustling in the leaves of a bush nearby. "Shh!" he told
"Sam, um, there's still an acorn in your ear. I don't think there's any
other noise than that."
Sam payed no attention; Rather, he crept to where he thought he heard
the rustling. He pulled apart the bushes and...
Meanwhile back at Rivendell...
Elrond's recovery was aided by a few shots
of miruvor straight, but the memory of Arwen's love letter to "King
Bear" still haunted him. After much fuming and pacing and a few kicks
at one of the shiftless elves laying nearby singing to a pile of
("Get up, get a job, you lazy git! Do you have any idea how expensive
are to feed?") Elrond decided it was high time to do something about
He returned to his room to examine his family tree
again, searching for a suitably pureblood elf who might distract Arwen
her absurd fascination with mortals.
Aragorn, who had by now climbed
down from the tree, was coming upon even huger worms than before!
he began digging again with a stick.
After only a few minutes in the mud, he was unrecognizable. Then he
across a worms rear-end sticking out of the hole's wall. The ranger dug
mad, and started to sing...sort of.
"Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of
Actually, the resulting sound was more like something between a
terrible cough and someone trying to sing while laughing hard.
Then...the bushes rustled.
Frodo gave another gasp of pain
and hopped around, holding the foot he had used to stamp out the pile
smouldering acorns that still had a lit lantern somewhere down under
He scattered the pile and finally reached the lantern, lifting it up so
could see what in the world the rest of the hobbits were gasping at in
early dawn light.
Their gasping was caused by none
other than the entrance of a large bear, wearing a Mounty Hat!!!
What the devil is going on here! And for heaven's sake, shut your
mouths!!! What?! Were you raised in a BARN?!!??!
I have been driven insane by these aphids and their tiny queen
my ears off that one of you short ones ate her royal wizard! Now
gasping is sucking them in by the hundreds.
the hobbit's jaws click shut, Sam, however is agog, watching as a
strange looking man climbs out of the bushes, rubbing his arm.
'Oh no, not YOU again,' said Smokey, as he went over to the smoldering
acorn pile and stamped out the lantern's flames.
'Tiff, this really is the limit! You drag me from that nice
where I was . . . well . . . uh . . . recovering from meeting
insane fisherman! He snuck up behind me, gave me a wedgie, and
the trout right out of my mouth!
He raised his
face to the overhanging branches and cried, "That is IT!! I am
back to the normal woods where morons just start fires. That I
handle. But being called out of the privy by Aphids to go chase
Big-footed beavers who are starting forest fires while dropping crumbs
onto the DIRT floor of an obsesive/compulsive neat-freak FOREST
is too much for this grizzly!!!!!!
Sorry Ol' Forest, you are on your own! But before I go, all of
young hoodlums--Hand over your flint, you can get more from the roads!
And you there--Angler Boy! Just remember--that fish you caught
was downstream of where the aphids found me. Bone-Appetit!
And with that, the grizzly took off mumbling, "I gotta find a better
tag line. 'Only I can prevent forest fires!' what was I thinking, it
should be 'Only YOU can pre . . .
Thus he wandered out of the woods and
changed his name. Now if you want to prevent forest fires, you
in search of Teddy Ruxbin!
Frodo, who had not understood a word the
strangely attired bear had growled at them, stood very very still and
shut his eyes hoping that when he opened them again it would be gone.
He wondered who the bear had eaten to obtain that hat.
When he carefully cracked one eye back open the bear, to his great
relief, was gone but is his place stood a very scroungy and
disreputable looking Big Person. The wind shifted slightly and a
of hair oil, worm, dirt and fish scent washed over him to his great
revulsion. Flies buzzed.
"Uh, hi. I was just going to get the
queen worm." he mumbled half to himself and then scrambled back into
the bushes. No one followed him, so he sat back down to watch hi hole
for worms and tried to wipe the mud off of his face (which was, at the
moment, completely unrecognizable).
The hobbits all stood and gaped at the
bushes for a bit, but when it became evident that the strange and
smelly Big Person wasn't intending to return they began to relax.
Frodo looked at the others. "This forest really is
creepy" he said, " Let's try to get through it as fast as we can, so we
don't run into any more of these strange inhabitants. Merry,
do we go?"
After they had shared a brief snack, he plunged
into the undergrowth following Merry, with Sam and Pippin leading the
ponies behind. The trees creaked and groaned strangely all around
as they followed what appeared to be a faint path. He hoped Fatty
doing okay back in Crickhollow, and that the ponies were carrying
enough food for lunch!
After walking about the gardens of
Orthanc twice while Saurman complained about the girls who kept
interrupting his studies trying to sell him cookies and the boys
selling their candy bars, Gandalf got testy.
"Now see here Saruman, you sent me a message to get here right away -
before midsummer in fact and here I am. Rode halfway across the
continent to see you and you have nothing to tell me more than
complaining about kids selling you junkfood?!"
walking, Gandalf had taken a good look at his old friend and now that
he could get a word in he voiced his theory on the missing white robe.
"Maybe if you didn't eat so much you could fit into that white robe of
yours." He patted the other wizard's growing stomach.
"So tell me your important news."
After Fatty recovered from his fright
(he could have sworn the screech came from the direction of the house
in Crick Hollow, but there seemed to be some kind of weird echo from
the Old Forest....) he ran straight to Brandy Hall to raise the alarm!
Fear! Fries! Foes!
The horns of Buckland tore the blanket of peace off a sleepy shire!
In his bed in Hobbiton, the Old Gaffer
suddenly sat bolt upright as his blankets were torn off!
"Wha...guh...what th' blazes...?" he mumbled only half-awake. He
thought he heard a distant echo of a horn blowing somewhere in the
distance. "Dratted tweenagers...."
Saruman the kind-of-off-color suddenly
realized his guest had not been paying the slightest attention to his
rambling as they strolled thorugh the garden. He abruptly changed the
"So, Gandalf, you want to know why I wanted you to see me? You know my
specialty is in....erm...jewelry
*wink wink, nudge nudge* And it could possibly have something to
do with that..
Hmmmm? " His thick bushy eyebrows rose as he fixed his
interested gaze rather disconcertingly on his guest. "I doubt you
believe you are here to inquire about my gardening skills or cooking,
for instance... or to comment on my weight. Come inside with me,
friend, and have a cup of tea out of this glaring sunshine while you
tell me how things have been in that strange little place called....Shire
The two wizards stumbled up the steps, tripping over their long robes
and finally made it, gasping into the main hall of Orthanc.
"The sun comes in so strongly here in the afternoons - I don't want it
to fade my furniture. You don't mind if I close the doors do you?"
"Come....sit down. A little bird mentioned to me that you might
know the whereabouts of some....jewelry
*wink wink nudge nudge* that I may be able to help you with."
"Thank you for the tea," Gandalf said as
he took a sip. "And you are most correct, I did not come here to talk
about gardening, cooking or your added weight. I came because of
Radagast's message - the message YOU sent. It said you had important
information for me."
"And just what jewerly are you thinking about? You know the dwarves
hoard their jewels very closely, the elves give theirs freely to
friends and the Hobbits, where I've been visiting, have none to speak
of. In fact, you practically dragged me out of the most pleasant party
I've been to in an age."
Gandalf gave the higher ranking
Wizard a glare. In fact, it was very similar to the glare that had
nearly turned Sam into mush after he was pulled through BagEnd's
window. Gandalf waited, thinking about the little folk he had sent on
thier dangerous errand. He hoped they were in Bree and had met with
Saruman walked over to his chair, which
was made of a nice (unfaded) black leather. It looked very comfortable
from where Gandalf was standing, though when taken in with the rest of
the room it looked quite uninviting.
"Well, old friend?
What were you hinting at in the letter - it sounded important and now
that you've dragged me here from half a continent away I think I have
the right to know."
Saruman slowly eased his creaking joints
into his chair. "Very well then. We shall speak plainly, you and
We who are far above such scrabbling little creatures as men
and...Elves. " He grew thoughtful for a moment. "Sauron is
strength in the land of Mordor. His fortress is being rebuilt,
the scaffolding is going to be quite a headache to take down when it's
done and his minions keep banging the nails in crooked. He will
launch his army to take over all of Middle Earth. I saw the Nine
splash across the river Isen on Midsummer's Eve. They muddied my
gardens most terribly...they seemed to be heading a bit North and
West...looking for something
He paused for dramatic effect, watching his guest carefully.
"All he needs is his.....RING
to accomplish this....you haven't , by any chance, found any such
trinket laying around anywhere, have you? It would be most....helpful
to the cause of us wizards if you had. You can trust me. After
all, we wizards
need to stick
together through thick and thin. And we need to be sure we're
always on the winning side
Grima closed the shutters with a *clang*
wincing as the noise carried echoingly though the tower of stone.
Every sound he made seem magnified, and he only wished to avoid
notice. His Master Saurman, for whom he worked in secret, valued
privacy and quiet. Why he chose to dwell in this drafty, noisy,
uninsulated pile of adamantine Grima could not guess.
two figures on horseback could only mean trouble at this time.
was busy with the Grey Pilgrim, trying to get him to come on with him
on some pyramid program or time-share investment he had learned about
in his travels eastward. He had not confided in Grima, and that
Grima shrugged into his mink housecoat. The
business of wizards was not his business, but someone had to answer the
door. There were no servants in the Orthanc anymore, except for
They were not allowed above ground at the moment, and with his
and Mighty Many-Colouredness otherwise occupied, that left the mundane
chores to Grima. "If only I hadn't answered that chain-letter,"
he sighed again.
A trail of mischance and weird
circumstance had led him to this place, where he was a toady for a
two-faced wizard and a wet-nurse for the King of Rohan, aged beyond his
years by spells and primetime television. What would happen when
was discovered, and his duplicity uncovered? He did not like to
He padded down the hall toward the front door, his bunny slippers
making a soft sursurrus sound on the cold stone floor.
The twins rode around the walls of
Isenguard and entered at the southernmost point where the only gate
pierced the thick stone barrier. They raced their horses past the
siege-towers, gigantic wheels turned by steam or sweating slaves, and
the gaping pits of refuse and ash.
"Whoa! Dude's gardner should be fired! The grass hasn't
been mowed for days!" said Elladan
"And just look at what has happened to the grove of fruitful trees!
Definately an over-pruning problem if ever I saw it!" replied
They hurried to the base of the tower, and Elrohir held the horses's
reins impatiently while Elladan bolted up the stairs three at a time.
Picking up a rock, he pounded on the solid door loudly.
noticed the doorbell, and he rang it politely. The bell sounded a
strange discord of music, not unlike "The Fugue", which echoed all
through the gothic structure. Elladan waited for 30 long seconds
after the music faded, then rang again.
There were distant clanging noises and
an irritating hissing, buzzing sound coming from the other room.
Saruman looked irritated. "Pardon me, just a moment..." He
got up and
waded in his robes back to the main chamber, adjusting the antennae on
a rounded, covered object in the middle of the room as he went.
buzzing stopped. Now for the hissing and clanging.
"Worm," he hissed, "I have a very
guest here right now. Whoever it is, tell them I
am not to be disturbed and send them away...I do not
need any more cookies, gift wrap, magazine subscriptions or pizza
coupons. And gather up your belongings - I'm sending you back to Rohan
soon, before Theoden wakes up too much. You are needed there to
He turned and waded back to the smaller sideroom. "I am so sorry
for the interruption,
Gandalf. You were saying?" He lifted his eyebrows
Grima sighs, straightening his blackmink again over his stooping
shoulders. " 'Worm,
answer the door'
" he mimicked Saurman's voice in a girly
falsetto, " 'Worm,
I have important visitors', 'Worm, throw another orc on the fire'
... the things I do for that wizard... and what thanks do I get?? 'Back to Rohan with
you! I don't care if you are allergic to horses!'
Grima reached for the door and opening it a crack, put his watering eye
to it and blinked into the blinding light.
"Who is it and what do you want?"
Meanwhile, back in the Old Forest . .
Dear me, what shall I do? These dratted creatures keep running
into the woods TOWARD the Withywindle. If they find that new
Waterslide" I have put in, I will have their entire village running
'pell mell' through my forest, dropping slurpy cups all over the place,
and wanting to know if the cotton-candy bags are waterproof.
That just blister's my bark! Oh, but wait . . . that little one
about to carve his initials into Old Man Willow! Perhaps things
work themselves out!
The old forest russled its
limbs together just waiting for the little terror to take a knife to
ol' Willowman--the widowmaker's hide
Frodo's feet and legs were aching from
all the tripping over roots and climbing over fallen logs. The
that Merry was leading them on wasn't really such a great path after
all, if you were thinking in terms of general comfort and event-free
strolling along. He was greatly relieved when they and their
finally shoved out of the undergrowth into a brightly lit valley with a
river winding along through it. Wait...
"A river? I thought we were going to try to avoid this river, weren't
we? Now we're really off track!"
They all stood for a moment, unsure whether to try to backtrack or not.
"Well, at least we can take a break from being in all those
trees and find some nice shady spot to rest and have a snack. I'm
*yawn* famished. Merry, let the ponies graze a bit. Sam,
make us some
sandwiches and break out those mushroom oreos! Pippin...where's
They looked around a bit, not wanting to call
attention to themselves by yelling for him, then peered into the thick
tangle of branches hanging down from a nice shady willow by the stream.
Pippin [for it is he, accept no
subsitutes] had been idling along at the back of the party, dodging the
horse apples in the path and surreptitiously checking by the larger
trees for 'shrooms. This meant that he appeared on the river bank after
the others, and saw them clustered by the old willow. Actually he
noticed that Merry was busying himself amongst the willow wands, Sam
was looking around puzzled, the ponies were beginning to crop the grass
and Frodo was peering about looking faintly shifty.
looks like cousin Frodo is waiting to duck out of sight behind the
willow tree too. There's plenty of other trees though and that one in
the sun by the bank is far better suited to napping against.
He chucked the stick he'd been using to the push the thorns and
brambles aside, into the stream, plopped himself down by an open (if
rutted) portion of willow trunk and asked
"So which way do we go now? Or are we waiting for Sam to make lunch
"and Merry whatever you're doing there stop it, this tree is better
suited for napping against while Sam knocks something munchable up."
He patted the trunk beside him, "I say its a shame this isn't in the
Marish, this tree would coppice well to make several fine sets of golf
It was all old man willow could do
to swallow the creature whole sitting so close to his open maw.
he knew better. Any tree knew the old saying . . . "a Bird in the
was worth two in the bush." 'And four if you are a tree,' he
to himself. Let them have a few 'shrooms, they will all sit down
sleep in the shade. But they shall find no tears in this 'weeping
willow' except their own! And isn't it sweet of them to fatten
themselves up with some dinner before they come into my net.
fools, sitting on my knees! Don't they see that THIS will be the
of their problems?!!?!!?!!?!!
Frodo was mildly annoyed with Pippin for
worrying them, but he felt too sleepy to bother reprimanding him.
were all tired, and falling into a doze. The golden sunshine was
nice and golden and the stream so soporific in it's gentle sound that
...suddenly tripped over a willow root and did a straight-on bellyflop
into the stream!
*agh...blahb...blub...cough...* he splashed and flailed in a sudden
panic as the water closed over his head. "Sam! Sa...blub
As he resurfaced again and gasped for air he heard Sam's
"Stand up! It ain't more 'n a foot 'n a half deep!"
He shoved his feet downward and to his great embarrassment, they
touched the muddy bottom easily. Dripping, he stood up and began
wading back to the shore trying to think of what he could say to cover
up his own clumsiness. "That...tree
pushed me in!" He realized it sounded ridiculous, but it could
be true, right?
Dignity, always dignity.
(Meanwhile, hundreds of leagues away
Elladan drew back from the blood-shot,
watery blue eyeball that appeared in the crack of the door.
down at Grima's mink housecoat and bunny slippers, the Half-elven lad
stiffled a giggle. "M-m-m-message for S-s-saurman T. White
Is your Master home, ma'am?" Elladan began to laugh out loud.
Grima offered him a whithering stare, or tried to, but the peredhel
was oblivious, glancing back to Elrohir and making a 'check-this-out'
gesture toward Wormtongue with his thumb. "Give me the message,
shut up! This is a dressing gown, not a frock! I am not a
"Thank Eru for that!" said Elladan.
"Well? Where is the message?" Grima demanded impatiently.
was getting all frizzy standing in the sun and wind, and his
prescription conditioner said to leave on for no longer than 10
minutes. "Come on," he urged as Elladan searched his tunic
fruitlessly, "I need to rinse! Hurry!"
Elladan ran back to
his horse and riffled his saddlebags, then his brother's saddle bags,
then indeed his brother, but did not find the message in any of those
places. Finally he located it pressed in the pages of Elrohir's
script, marking his place at "A Shortcut To Mushrooms". He dashed
up the long stairs and presented the squashed parchment to the
irritated and impatient Wormtongue.
Grima snatched it out of Elladan's hand
and slammed the door, catching his housecoat train in the hinge
unnoticed. He broke the seal and read the message. He was
openmouthed at the paper when the doorbell rang again, and he nearly
jumped out of his skin in surprise.
He wrenched the door open again, and Elladan was standing there,
grinning. "What, no tip for the delivery?"
The door slammed shut with a *BOOM
that caused all the crows roosting in the few remaining trees to take
flight in noisy complaint.
He read the message again, wondering how on Arda Saurman was gonna get
out of this one, when he heard movement inside the tower. He
quickly, trying to hide, and heard a *r-r-r-r-r-riiiiPPP!!*
This was just not his Age!