Ask the Characters....4

Gathered from the ongoing game at the Middle-earth board
Page 4 participants:   Ashlyn, Elfriend67, Frodosmiss, Goldberry, Hobbitgirly79, Ladyhawk, Laiquendi, MrsLGreenleaf, Old Toby, Primula, Strange Elf

Q: Now, Shadowfax, my friend, whatever reason did you have for leading Gandalf on that wild goosechase for days before letting him catch you and ride you … … … Hmmm??

Shadowfax: My dear Asfaloth, you Elvish lot simply haven't learned what every horse should know. You can be such push-overs. It's important to play hard to get! Otherwise they simply do not appreciate you as they ought. If you make them work hard, then they think they've accomplished something truly wonderful. Besides, who knew what he used that staff of his for... tell me that...

Q: By the way, what do you use that staff for, Gandalf?

Gandalf:  Smacking the unruly Rohan horse I was chasing.

Q: Now one for you, Stybba. All your fellow horses were carrying Rohan warriors. How did you feel having a mere Hobbit on your back?

Stybba: “Mere Hobbit!!” .. Sheesh! That was no “mere Hobbit” I was carrying … … … that was the sword-thain of King Théoden I’ll have you know. Anyway … … … just how would one of those tall warriors ride me! I can walk right out from between their legs. And carrying a Hobbit is much better than being the pack pony any way you look at it. ... Wink

Q: Now, Roheryn, how did you feel to be brought all the way to Rohan just to find Aragorn on the back of another horse?

You know, Aragorn is just too compassionate sometimes. I think he felt sorry for Brego after his person Theodred died. That being said, Brego showed his true colors by abandoning Aragorn near the paths of the dead. Haa (snort) I would never have done that! Coward! He better not get into the same pasture as me, or I’ll show him who’s boss.

Q:  Hasufel : I noticed that your name “Hasufel” really means “grey coat” in Rohirric. So why are you a chestnut brown?

*brrwhhhaaahaha* I am ashamed to admit it, but I have been known to apply that a bit of that ...hrrrhmhmhm.... Grey-B-Gone. I thought it was a nice, natural brown - didn't you? The other horses didn't even guess until my roots started showing.

Q: Speaking of grey, Gandalf - weren't you just a little peeved that the Valar went to all the trouble to send you back and you were still an old man? I mean, couldn't they have sent you back as a nice, buff young man?

Gandalf: Ya know, I've been wondering the same thing! You'd think they'd relieve me of my back pain and arthritis, but noooooooo! Hurumph, go figure.

Q: This one's for Legolas: Why do you always play the part of Captain Obvious?

They, the writers, knew that with my gorgeous looks, no one would care or at least would overlook it and know that only an Elf could portray it with any kind of dignity.

Q: Which begs the question, so Gimli, how did you like being the goof ball?

Gimli: In every comedy team, the short guy is always the funny one...Abbott and Costello, Penn and Teller...No---we're not making up for our "shortcomings"---Besides, everyone loves a clown!

Q: Hey, Pippin! Why do you always have to look??

Pip: That's what eyes are for right?

Q: So Balrog.. why are you covered in flames and not ice or something else?

Balrog: Well, when I was a little Balrogling, I was just stone. When a Balrogling comes of age, he gets to choose what substance he wants to be for the rest of life. I remember having this experience that included some friends, some trees, and fire and seeing the trees burn was exhilarating so I knew that I wanted to be fire instead of anything else.

Q: Hey Gimli, what is like to work with Legolas? Is he funny? What does he look for in women? Am I his type? How close are y'all?

Q: Glorfindel, were you at all upset that Arwen took your place in the film?

Gimli: What is he like? He's a bit too tall for my liking, and he's always leaving the reading light on all night long. Very annoying at times. But we get along all right, opposites attract and all that, I suppose. We seem to understand each other's humor, what there is of it. Now - What does he look for in women? He mostly looks for them to get out of the way so he won't hit them with an arrow. Very nasty business, that, when they don't move quickly enough. Now, I wouldn't know if you're his type or not, lass, but I expect not. For one thing, he looks for trees to hug. If I'm right, you're looking for something else, hah! Am I right? Of course I am, but don't tell him I said that. Now, Glorfindel, I believe there was a question for you also - come over here. Yes, I know it's short. So pull the microphone up, or I'll shorten you and then it'll be fine...

Hello? Is this thing on? Yes? Oh, Arwen. *makes a face* Do I really have to answer that? Isn't this a family-friendly board?

Q: A question for Aragorn: What was with tossing and shoving the Ringbearer around in Bree like that? Don't you think it a bit unkingly to introduce yourself like some kind of thug?

Aragorn: Well I never wanted to be king you know. Never. I would have been so happy just being an anonymous Ranger, wandering around in muddy boots, dirty clothes, and unwashed hair. I'd be really happy. But good old Elrond kept nagging. Even Arwen was nagging at me! So I really wasn't in the best of moods at Bree, you understand. And Frodo was being so careless that I just couldn't take it any longer.

Q: BTW, Elrond, how do you get those cute little pretzle like twists in your hair? Do you do that yourself?

Elrond: Oh! I'm am SO glad you asked me this question! No one ever seems to notice my fabulous locks! They are just to die for, don't you think.  *does a quick twirl*

All twizzly and braided, just right for twiddling them round my fingers when i'm nervous! Although i have sometimes found myself nibbling on the ends to Embarassed *slaps wrist* Naughty boy! Whatever would the other Elves think.

*Crosses legs, joins hands together and sits down* Well my delightful psychologist Allasandro tells me it all stems from a desire to distinguish myself from that unruly brother of mine, Elros. Can't see the connection myself, but then, i'm not a pyschologist am I! Hehe!

Now these braids, as I'm sure you're desparate to know, are hand-plaited by the top Elvish Hairdresser, Findel, who's won a ton of awards, you know! Does wonders with your roots too, girls. *flicks hair* Ahh, the cheeky boy.

So! Where wasI! Oh yes, another question. I swear I'd loose my own head if it wasn't securely braided on!

Q: Now, Mr. Baggins, Sr. once you came back from your adventure with all that delightfully sparkly gold and jewels, how comes you're still living in a damp hole in the ground??

Bilbo: *Bilbo's eyes get round and offended and his mouth opens and closes several times but he is, uncharacteristically, rendered speechless.*

Sam grabs the microphone: Damp!? Why Mr. Elrond, beggin' yer pardon, sir, but Bag End is a cozy hole by all accounts and you'll not find a cozier!

Q: But I've been meaning to ask a question that has been worrying at my mind for some time. It's about elves, you see. Mr. Gildor sir, why is it that from time to time elves seem to get all glowy and hard to stick your eyes to, if you take my meaning?

Gildor: If you see a group of us appear to be all glowy, we're probably all huddled around someone's birthday cake and you're seeing the glow from the lit candles...after all, most of us are pretty long in the tooth, if you get my drift!

Q: Now, Gollum...what's with the Tarzan-like loin cloth?

Smeagol: Achhhh....sssss! Gollum! That's no loin-cloth, precious, no it's not. It's a napkin, a napkin, precious, for when I catch a juicy-sweet fishhh, yes it is, gollum gollum. We have good table mannerss, don't we, precious? Yes!

What's Tarzan, precious? Is it scrumptious, is it crunchable? Does we need a napkin with it, does we?

Q: Frodo, why did you really go diving in the water in the marshes?

Frodo: Well, if you must know, I didn't go diving in, I tripped. I was so caught up in looking at what you first tried to reach, wondering why you can't reach them, that I didn't see the clump of grass in front of my feet. And, in case you didn't notice, my feet are rather large and aren't exactly use to walking through marshes like you.

Q: By the way, Sam, why didn't you pull me back out? Aren't you suppose to be helping me on this journey or are you too fat?

Me?? Fat?? It's called "Insulation" dontcha know!  It IS a long journey after all, in the cold and damp.

But as to why I didn't pull him back? Well, you see, I had just bought a new camera phone off and was testing out the zoom Embarassed Taking piccies for me Old Gaffer of the lovely scenery.  1.3 Megapixel camera it is! With Video messaging and 300 free text messages a month. Got to get some use out of it on my trip.

Q: "Hello? Gimli? Hello? I haven't got a good signal, you'll have to speak up. Hello? So what did you say to Haldir when you were kept on the talan ??

Haldir: Well, I'm not particularly proud of what I said, but ya know how it is in the moment. It was something along the lines of, "You're foo-foo hair has a messed up braid ." If you know elves, you know how particular they are with their hair!

Q: So, Aragorn, have you heard of a bath?

Aragorn:  Have I ever! Every time we stopped it was the Hobbits pestering me for food and Legolas pestering me for bath water. "I need a bath, Aragorn" he would whine. "I need a bath". Every bit of water we passed, we would be drinking and Legolas would be bathing. So yes, I've heard of a bath, but I'm confused, why do you ask?

Q: So Legolas. As particular you are about your toilet, tell me, did it not irritate you that you had to wear the same outfit month in and month out?

I didn't have the same outfit. I would never think of such monstrousity! I kept about 50 changes of clothes in my belt. I just say the fancy elvish words and viola! A change of clothes grows to my size. It's very convenient for a pretty elf such as I .

Q: So, Frodo, how come you never killed an orc? I mean, you had sword and all. Why no action?

(waxing philosophical): My dear Elf, my life is filled with pain and sorrow. All around me there is death, destruction, fear that pervades the spirit. A hollow resounding cry engulfs all that I hear. Never-ending darkness surrounds my being no matter how hard I battle it.

There is only the One, eternal. The endless circle of existance that shines forth its hateful, foul desires. Glittering with contempt in the brillance of daylight; burning red hot in the fire that we all burn. Words that have meaning only to those that would dominate and control all others without hope.  It is my burden and my fate; all that I was has gone. It drains my body and mind to fuel its fears, til I am left but a shadow of all that i once was. If I relax just a little I risk loosing all semblance of my being within it's shining surface.

Life is sacred, life is hope, life is what we all strive for. I cannot take that from anyone without sacrificing myself.
The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the One...

Q: Théoden, where did that light come from behind you when you put on your armour?

Theoden: Didn't you see?Didn't you feel it?  It was the sun coming up from behind me.
That's why I never get a tan, the sun is always behind me.   But I do get a nice warm back.

Q: So Haldir why do you dislike Gimli so much?

Haldir: You did hear what he said to me in the film, didn't you? Nasty, uncouth Dwarf ! They're all alike!

Q: So, Gimli. Why did you say such a nasty thing to that hot, sexy Elf?

Gimli:  Although I hate to admit it, it was pure, unadolterated jealousy that caused me to spit out such venom...those Elves standing around on their long legs, looking beautiful all of the perfectly coiffed, even in battle....and then he tells me I breathe loud? It wasn't me was Merry! All I said was "I think you've let yourself go a little, don't you think?" and everyone gets on me. Sheesh! Can't a short, squat, hairy guy lose his cool now and then?

Q: What I want to know, Legolas, is why don't you EVER run out of arrows?

Legolas:  Nope. I invested in a XT-2000 automatic regenerating arrow-quivver  (with optional peacock decoration) before I left Mirkwood. You never know what you might run into on these extended journeys...even if I [i]was[/i] only supposed to be running an errand to Imladris and kind of "forgot" to tell my dad I'd decided to hook up with this group instead of going back home, it's been a useful thing to have along, hasn't it?

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