........Legolas dines with Lady Alanta..............April 14........

Lady Nienna did not dine with her daughter and me. Lady Alanta and I took our plates to a small table near the hearth and ate quite informally, which was Pleasant. The evening was chilly, rain had come on with the darkness, and we had a cheerful little fire to warm our toes. Lady Alanta said only that she thought her mother was with Lord Luinil, and that some problem had arisen that only they two could deal with. She was merry and unconcerned. When I asked her why it had been necessary for her to go on Patrol, I asked the question as Casually as I could, as if it was not important to me. She answered with some constraint that there had been some fear of Intruders, but that none had been found.

Now, was she lying? I think not. I think her father had sent her out, to get her out of the way, and that the strange Man I had seen was the reason. Had he brought hither the Men and horses we had left beside the Chasm? How? Why? I sat with that lovely Maiden and my thoughts were turmoil. I wished I could speak Frankly to her, and I wished that she might actually be able to tell me Something.

However, it was not to be. We whiled away several hours playing a board Game, one very much like the Game that Duke Askelon taught me to play in

Minas Tirith last winter. Lady Alanta plays with much Skill, but she is reckless with her game Pieces. She often wins, but at terrible Cost.

I went up to Captain Roland and I could see at once that he was out of frame. His dinner sat uneaten upon the table by his Bed, and he lay watching the door with anxious Eyes. I saw him Relax when he saw me, but I do not think it was me he was waiting for.

You are troubled, I said. What has happened?

He hesitated, then said, Where is Lord Luinil?

I do not know, I answered. He did not dine with me and the Lady Alanta. Nor did Lady Nienna.

Legolas, they quarreled, I could hear them out there in the hallway, he said. She....she is afraid of him, Legolas. he said.

I know that, Roland, I said. I am afraid of him, too.

I studied his pale face; his features were drawn with worry and pain. Roland, I said, I will sit with you tonight. I will not leave you.

I could see that he had allowed himself to fall into Despondency, and was prey to Fear. It is always hard, I think, for an active Man such as he to be forced to lay Idle, and in this House, with the atmosphere that oppressed even me, it was doubly Hard. There is the Shock that overtakes the body in an emergency, but then there is a kind of delayed Shock that happens later, when the realization of Death strikes deep -- the knowledge that Death nearly had the victory. Such

was Captain Roland's case on this night, and I pitied him. He is young, and bold, but even bold young Men can feel Terror.

You must think me cowardly, he whispered. But Legolas, he wants me dead -- he wants us all dead....

I do not think you are cowardly, Roland, I said. I think events are drawing to some End, and I think it would be unwise to leave you in this House alone. You are still very weak, and prey to fears that would seem Nonsensical to you otherwise. I took his hand in mine and let some of my strength flow into him. Try to sleep, I said.

Whether it was my Presence or just exhaustion, he fell into a deep sleep. No candles had been lighted in his room, but I did not want Light to think.

It was a long night, but I had much to think of. I realized that I should have known Lord Luinil would seek out the men we had left. Had they gone on, they would surely have spoken of the Door, and their vanished Comrades. Such a tale from such Men would have been attended to; it would not have been dismissed as an old Wife's tale, or a fantasy. I had told Gardaz that I did not think they had been killed, but rather had been Captured, and I hoped that was so. Now I had to think of them, as well, which complicated Matters considerably.

It was not until near Dawn that I heard one of the Sounds I had been waiting for -- the secret Door in Luinil's study. If ever the Lady is in here, or a servant or the Lady Alanta, when he uses that door, it will be dangerous for us. I would pour some oil on that mechanism, if I could! Some moments later Lord Luinil himself came into the room where I sat with Roland.

Legolas! Have you been here all night? he demanded.

Yes, I replied. Captain Roland is, I think, Feverish, and I thought it best if I sat with him.

And my Lady? Has she seen him? he asked.

Not this night, Lord Luinil. It is my Hope that she will come in this morning, I said.

He nodded. I will speak to her, Legolas. He stood in the open doorway, and seemed to want to say more. I am sorry, he said at last, that I could not join you and the Ladies for dinner.

It is of no matter, my Lord, I said. I had turned away from him, yet I could still feel his eyes upon me.

Legolas, he said. I am strangely weary, these days. Can it be that this new Age is wearing upon me, as well? Then he laughed, and walked out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

............Morning, April 15......from Captain Roland.........

I woke feeling rested. Legolas still sat with me. He sat as he does, at times, his Gaze in the distance, and an expression of Serenity upon his face. When he saw me awake, he nodded and said, You slept well, Roland?

Yes, I answered. Now, in the bright daylight, I felt foolish for my Night time dread, and so I said, Thank you, Legolas, for sitting with me. But you ought to have told me to stop being so womanly in my fears.

Womanly? Now, Captain Roland, that is Foolish indeed, on your part. When

you have lived longer in this world, you will know that Women are much stronger than we Men -- I call myself a Man, in this. However that may be, I told you last night that I thought it unwise to leave you alone in this house, and I still say so. I think we will have you moved today, back into the Guesthouse with us, Legolas said. Do you agree?

I will do as you think best, I answered. I sat up, then swung my legs over the edge of the bed. Standing, I said, Just give me your arm for a moment, Legolas, and get me to the Privy door.

When I came out, I waved him away, and managed to get back to the bed and into it without help. It tired me, but not as it had the day before.

Just then Arwela came in with the breakfast tray, and it had plates, cutlery, and food enough for both Legolas and me. She set it down, and before she left she said, My Lady will see you after she has breakfasted, Captain Roland.

Legolas looked at me speculatively. If you come to the Guesthouse, you will not see so much of the Lady. Now, now, don't poker up! I have seen how you look at her. Roland, I did not wish to intrude myself on your Feelings. But there is nothing you can do for her. Her fate is bound up with her husband's, whatever that may be.

She is innocent of his Evil, Legolas! I said.

I do not accuse her, Roland. I wish only to warn you, he answered.

You need not, I said. I know everything you would say. And you are right. I ought to be in the Guesthouse with the rest of you. We said nothing more, and after he had eaten, he left. I waited for the Lady, and gave myself over to a few moments of wishing that things were Otherwise. I scarcely knew how to think of this, the way I feel about Lady Nienna. Love. Yes, I love her. I am in Love with her. But that, like the Wound in my Chest, is just something I have to bear -- it is just something that Happened. I do not expect anything of this Love. I do not think she will run away from her lord and live upon Romance and Roses with me -- I do not even Wish that. I wish only to be allowed to Love her, and serve her. In a world that I made with my own hands, she would be Mine. She would never have known Luinil. But I did not make this world; I have only to live in it.