Difficult Decisions
by suzie sheelf
CHAPTER 19
When Ilweran did not appear at dinner, Elewen became worried. Elrond
told her not to be concerned, as she was probably catching up with old friends.
Still Elewen was worried; Ilweran would of let them know if she was not going
to make it to dinner, and would have sent her apologise.
After dinner Elrond and Glorfindel went in search of Ilweran, truth be
known they were both worried about her as well. Elrond told the three youngsters
to amuse themselves, but keep out of trouble, at this remark Glorfindel just
smiled and shook his head.
As they were leaving the dinning hall they saw Safferonia coming in carrying
a tray, of uneaten food. They asked about Ilweran, Safferonia just shook
her head. She then told them about the dress and Gil-galad and his wedding
plans, and that Ilweran did not take this news at all well.
Glorfindel asked if Elrond knew about any of this, he nodded. He knew about the wedding plans, but not about the dress.
Ilweran lay on the bed sobbing her heart out. Safferonia had tried to
get her to eat something, but she said she felt to nauseous to eat, and that
she just wanted to be alone. As she lay on the bed thinking about the past;
she glanced over at the wedding dress. Finally she got up and had a closer
inspection. Safferonia had done a beautiful job on the gown. Ilweran sighed,
as she felt the material, it would have been a wonderful ceremony and feast,
knowing Gil-galad and his attention to detail. Even their secret wedding
ceremony was quite something, she mused. Oh well she thought maybe one day
Elewen will get to wear the gown.
Elewen she thought, Oh no, she would be wondering where I am, Ilweran
put her head in her hands and shook her head, I hope Elrond made up some
excuse for me.
She was startled from her thoughts by a knock at the door, thinking it
was just Safferonia returning to try to get her to eat something she called
out for who ever it was to come in.
"You weren't at dinner, we were worried about you"
Ilweran turned around to see Elrond standing there with Glorfindel.
"I am sorry, it totally slipped my mind, please forgive me."
Elrond walked over to Ilweran and enveloped her in a big hug, "There
is nothing to forgive, Safferonia explained everything to Glorfindel and I"
"Elewen?"
"I told her you were catching up with old friends, and probably forgot the time"
"Thankyou Elrond, I don't think I could face either Elewen or Elrohir, at the moment
As she finished saying that, the door burst open and three elves ran in.
"This place has more corridors than Rivendell" Exclaimed Elrohir.
"May I enquire what you are doing here?" asked Ilweran, as she wiped tears from her face.
"We came to see if you were alright and to bid you quel du and quel kaima,
it has been a long, day but we didn't want to retire before seeing if you
were ok first" answered Elewen.
"Thankyou Elewen that is very kind of you" Ilweran said as she stepped
over and gave all three younger elves a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek,
"Off you go then, as you can see, I am fine, quel du, quel kaima" she said
as she ushered the three out of the door.
A short while later there was a knock at the door. Elrohir walked into
the girl's bedroom before they could answer, interrupting Elewen and Sammy
who had been talking about Ilweran.
"Did you notice Ilweran's face?" Elrohir asked. "Her eyes were red and her face tear stained"
"We were just discussing that, have you ever seen Ilweran cry, Elrohir?"
"Yes, just the once" he answered
"You have! When?"
"About a month ago, she was about to explain something about a good friend who died, and then burst into tears"
"That doesn't sound like Ilweran to me" Elewen replied
"Any how ladies I bid you quel du, quel kaima" Elrohir said and walked
out the door he burst through a moment before, he exhaled loudly as he walked
down the corridor, he nearly blew it he mused, he had promised ada he would
not speak about Gil-galad to Elewen.
Back in the room the two girls continued their conversation, "I'm telling
you Sammy, there is something extremely fishy going on around here"
"Oh Elewen, it's just your over active imagination now lanta kaima" Sammy said as she rolled over and went to sleep.
Ilweran was pacing around her room, sleep alluding her. She was thinking
of how on Arda she was going to tell Elewen about her ancestry. She was not
to worried about telling her about Gil-galad; it was telling her that she
was her mother. That was going to be the hardest thing to do.
She stopped pacing for a moment, to look out the window; her mind wandered
back to the birth of her only child. The last three months of her pregnancy
she had been closeted away in a secret part of Rivendell only known to a
very few people. It had been built as a hide away in case off attack from
the enemy. After surviving the attack on Sirion and seeing the destruction
of Ost-in-Edhil, Elrond wanted a safe place for his family, if ever he was
to have one.
She remembered Safferonia telling her how Elrond and Glorfindel were
pacing out side the room like expectant fathers, and the relief on their
faces when she had told them that mother and child where fine.
But she wasn't prepared for the pain that was to come next. In order
to keep her child safe she would have to giver her up. Safferonia had offered
to take the child back to Lindon with her and tell everybody that she was
the daughter of a friend, who had died in childbirth. But Ilweran could not
face being separated from her child, the only physical reminder she had of
Ereinion.
Elrond cradled the newborn in his arms; he turned to Ilweran and said,
"she is of my kin. If you will allow me I will foster her, she will be as
a daughter to me." He smiled and went on, "just as your father was like a
foster father to me; I shall be to her."
Ilweran was woken from her musings by some one coming through the door.
"My Lady you should be in bed asleep"
"Safferonia I am not a child who needs a nurse maid; any way I could not sleep, I have too much on my mind"
"You worry about Elewen, I know that look on your face. She will be fine My Lady"
"How can you say that, for over 2000 years she has been lied to about
who she really is, How do you think she is going to react when she is told
the truth?"
"I think she will handle being told that she is the kings daughter very
well, she may be shocked at first" Safferonia put a comforting arm around
Ilweran's shoulder.
"That's not what I'm worried about. It's telling her about me that worries me; how will she deal with that?"
Safferonia looked at Ilweran with concern in her eyes. "She will understand that you did it for her own protection."
"Will she now? How do you know that she won't resent me, or worse hate
me. Tell me Safferonia, how would you feel being told that the woman you
looked up to, your mentor, your friend ends up being your mother. Hmm? You
tell me."
Safferonia looked at Ilweran for once in her long life she did not know what to say.
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"Good morning Ilweran" Elrond said as she entered the dinning room, and took a seat at the table, "I trust you slept well"
Ilweran looked at Elrond smiled weakly and shook her head.
Elewen saw this and asked why, Ilweran replied that Lindon held so many memories for her, and that she had a lot on her mind.
"Did your husband come from Lindon, Ilweran?" Elewen asked
Ilweran choked on the tea she had just swallowed, and almost dropped
the cup. She looked at Elewen and asked "Husband! What makes you think I
was married?"
"We over heard you talking in the tower the other night back in Mithlond"
Ilweran paled, she looked at Glorfindel then at Elrond, and she was wondering how much Elewen already knew.
Elrohir stood up and turned to Elewen and Samrendiel, "We had better
get going if we are to explore the forest this morning and be back in time
for lunch as we promised"
Sammy opened her mouth to protest then saw Elrohir motion with his head
towards the door; she then stood and tugged on Elewen's sleeve, and whispered
in her friends ear "Let's go before she explodes"
All three youngsters bowed to their elders and left the room.
Sammy turned to Elewen and asked "What were you thinking asking her that,
and in front of everybody! I thought we had agreed that you were going to
drop this subject."
"I want to know who I really am and.""
"You will know neth min, in time"
All three spun around to see Glorfindel standing there.
"Elewen please come with me, Samrendiel, Elrohir enjoy the forest."
Sammy and Elrohir looked at each other, the forest could wait, there
were more interesting things happening around here. Anyway Sammy did not
want to be to far from Elewen, she felt that her friend would have need of
her before the end of the day.
Elrond led Ilweran into the throne room, there they found Cirdan, and
Safferonia waiting for them; Glorfindel walked in a few minutes later.
"Elewen is in the library, I have got her reading up on Gil-galad, as you asked" Glorfindel said.
Ilweran looked around at the others gathered there, "Ok, so why are we all gathered in the throne room?"
Elrond answered, "Before we can tell Elewen the truth about her past, you first have to come to terms with yours."
"What are you saying Elrond? You are not making any sense."
Elrond took her by the hand and led her to throne. "I bid you sit on the throne my lady"
Ilweran looked at Elrond as if he had gone crazy, she looked at Glorfindel for support but realises he was in on this too.
"You must accept, Ilweran that you are a Queen. We are not asking you
to take up the sceptre and rule, we are asking you to face the truth."
Ilweran looked around the room at those gathered there, she did not want
to sit on the throne, but she knew that Elrond was right, she had to come
to terms with her past before she could tell Elewen about hers.
Ilweran gave a sigh and sat down.
Elrond, Glorfindel, Cirdan, and Safferonia all bowed to her. It took
all her control not to jump up and run from the room. As she was contemplating
getting down off the throne, the door opened and Elewen walked in carrying
a large tome, she had her head in the book as she walked in.
Elewen looked up from the book, and saw Ilweran sitting on the throne
looking at her. She looked at Ilweran with surprise on her face, as the book
slipped from her hands and crashed to the floor.
CHAPTER 20
Elewen was a little confused when Glorfindel led her into the library, sat her at a desk, and gave her a large tome to read.
"You want to know of your heritage neth min, well here is a start." He
said placing the large the book in front of her and opening the book at the
chapter titled 'The House of Fingolfin' "I am needed in the throne room"
Glorfindel said as he exited the room.
Elewen looked at the family tree and traced her fingers along the line
of kings, stopping at Gil-galad. Now her interest was piqued, she continued
reading; she let out a small gasp when she saw that her foster father's name
was also in the family tree. Gil-galad and Elrond are cousins; she trailed
her fingers down the pages again, well third cousins she mused.
Now she was really interested, she was wishing Samrendiel were with her
so that she could share her discovery, oh well she thought I will just have
to tell her later.
Elewen kept on reading. This time giving out a loud gasp, and a whoop.
"I found Ereinion" she called out. Ereinion is Gil-galad. His name was changed
to protect his identity when he was sent to live with Lord Cirdan of the
Falas, and only went by the name Gil-galad.
Now she was really excited, she had to tell somebody. She grabbed the
book and ran from the library, she remembered Glorfindel saying something
about the throne room. She stopped a startled elf and asked him directions.
The elf seemed surprised to be asked about the throne room, as no one had
been in there since The High King Gil-glad had left for the war. He directed
her, and shook his head in mirth as Elewen once again took off at a run,
'Elfling's he mused, oh to be that young again'.
In the throne room, Ilweran glared at the four elves bowing before her. "For the love of Arda, please get up," she said
Slowly all four stood erect once more. Glorfindel smirked and said, "Ereinion always said you'd make a beautiful queen."
"He said that, when?" asked Ilweran truly surprised.
"At your Coming of Age Ceremony, when you were officially presented at court."
Elrond smiled at her "Yes I remember that day, you drove your father
to distraction, as you would not Co-operate with Safferonia about your dress."
"Well I couldn't see what all the fuss was about, I had known Ereinion
since I arrived at Lindon I could see why I had to go through all the pomp
and ceremony of being presented before him before all the court, just because
I had finally reached my majority" Ilweran said. Looking rather peeved.
"You were, are a daughter of a Lord, it was the proper thing to do" answered Cirdan.
Ilweran was beginning to think they were all ganging up on her when Safferonia said.
" I don't know what our all laughing about, you weren't the one who had
to get her into that dress and ready for the presentation."
Ilweran looked at Safferonia with a hurt expression on her face. "I was not that difficult!"
Ilweran sat back in the chair and closed her eyes. She remembered that
day perfectly, the fight with Safferonia, her father stressing that everything
be perfect and wishing again and again that her mother was there share this
day. She recalled walking into the throne room on the arm of her father,
and being presented before the High King Gil-galad, and the Herald calling
'Your majesty I present to you, Ilweran daughter of Lord Ilwe and the late
Lady Eliwen of Gondolin'. She smiled to her self as she remembered trying
not to laugh as Ereinion winked at her when she curtsied before him.
She was woken from her musings as the door to the throne room opened.
Elewen had found the throne room and burst in with out knocking. She
stopped short when she looked up and saw Ilweran sitting on the throne, and
she dropped the book in surprise on seeing here there.
She stared at Ilweran till she found her voice, "Ilweran what are you
doing on the throne, Gil-galad's heir is Elrond," In the silence that followed
that statement Elewen began to feel uncomfortable. Eventually she remembered
the book and why she had barged into the room in the first place and softly
she said. "Well according to this book it is" As she reached down to pick
up the book.
Ilweran looked at the others in as much to say; 'I told you this was not a good idea'
Glorfindel spoke up, "I thought you were supposed to be in the library, Elewen?"
"I was but I found something." she stopped uncomfortable again as she noticed everyone was looking at her.
Ilweran spoke up, "Come here Elewen, show me what you found"
Elewen walked towards the throne, curtsied and stood before Ilweran.
Ilweran made room for her to sit beside her, then motioned for her to show
the passage in the book that brought her here. "Ah, you have discovered who
Ereinion is" Ilweran said aloud. "Let us go back to the library, there is
more you need to know. We can talk more comfortably there."
Ilweran was glad to get out of the throne room even happier to get off
the throne; she was going to have words with Elrond and Glorfindel when she
had the chance.
CHAPTER 21
Ilweran walked with Elewen towards the library, she stopped suddenly
and turned to look at Elewen, saying "continue on to the library Elewen,
I will meet you there in half an hour, there is something I need to do first."
Elewen looked at Ilweran, "You haven't changed your mind have you?" she asked anxiously.
"No, I promise I will be back."
Elewen carried on as Ilweran turned and hurried back towards the throne
room. She could feel her anger rising, this was not how she had planned to
tell Elewen about her heritage, and she was about to tell Elrond, Glorfindel,
and Safferonia about it. And the fact that Elrond made her sit on the throne;
ugh she thought 'Elrond Peredhil, look out'.
Ilweran stormed into the throne room, much as Elewen had a short time
before. The four elves looked up in surprise. Ilweran stopped and stood with
her hands on her hips.
Glorfindel looked at Elrond and whispered "uh oh I think we are in trouble."
Ilweran glared art Elrond, pointed at him and then at the throne, "You
heard what Elewen said, you're Gil-galad's heir, you sit on the throne."
She tried to keep her voice low so as not to shout, but was having trouble.
Elrond looked at Ilweran, and raised an eyebrow "Is something wrong Ilweran?"
Ilweran looked at Elrond with exasperation on her face, 'Is he stupid,
she thought.' She heard chuckling coming from the corner, and turned and
glared at Glorfindel, who stopped his chuckling, 'Ilweran is really livid',
he mused.
"Yes something is wrong Elrond, this is not how I wanted Elewen to find out about Ereinion, or about me being her mother!"
Ilweran heard a gasp and turned to see Sammy and Elrohir standing there, she shook her head, this is the last thing she needed.
Ilweran looked at the two young elves, "I thought you were supposed to be elsewhere, like the forest?"
"We heard raised voices" replied Elrohir
"And you decided to snoop" snapped Ilweran
Elrohir looked at Ilweran with surprise and hurt on his face, she had never snapped at him like this before.
Sammy turned to go, when Ilweran stopped her. "Not so fast young lady"
Sammy stopped in her tracks and turned to face Ilweran. "You two are not
to breathe a word of this to Elewen, she finds out from me or Lord Elrond
do you understand me?"
Both elves nodded, Elrohir looked over at Sammy who looked extremely uncomfortable. He had never seen Ilweran this angry before.
Ilweran turned back to the adults; "I'm going to see Elewen now. Elrond,
Safferonia, I want you two in the library in an hour." She looked over at
Glorfindel; "You might as well come too".
Ilweran turned and stormed out the door. She saw Sammy and Elrohir walking
the other way down the corridor, she called out to Sammy.
Sammy and Elrohir turned to see what the irate elf wanted 'what now thought Elrohir?'
Ilweran walked up to them and putting her arms gently around their shoulders
pulled them into a hug. "I apologise, Sammy, Elrohir. I did not mean to snap
at either of you two, please forgive me." 'None of this is your fault' she
thought to herself.
Sammy hugged Ilweran back, "Elewen was always hoping that you were her mother."
Ilweran looked at Sammy in surprise, "Really!"
Ilweran took Sammy aside, "Sammy don't go to far, I fear that Elewen
will have need of you before this day is out, nay before this afternoon is out."
Back in the throne room, four adults looked at each other, in amazement.
"I don't think I have ever seen her that angry before" Cirdan said
"I have" Glorfindel said
Safferonia piped up" Lord Cirdan, that was only her warming up; I am
not looking forward to going to the library, hopefully she would have calmed
down a bit by then."
Elrond smiled "I believe it is the shieldmaiden in her Cirdan nin mellon,
she was meek and mild till her mother was slain, then Ilwe decided she needed
to know how to defend herself, so he started training his daughter. Since
the end of the war she has.refined her defences shall we say?"
Glorfindel laughed, "at least she won't have any of her weapons on her."
Ilweran walked back to the library gathering her thoughts as she went,
'Elewen hoped that I was her mother, now is this a good thing or not? Oh
well I will find out soon enough.' She thought.
She stood at the library door, took a deep breath, and walked in.
Elewen sat at a desk busily reading. She seemed engrossed in what she
was reading. Ilweran stood back and watched for a few moments, then slowly
walked over to where Elewen was sitting, "Interesting reading Elewen?"
Elewen looked up excitement in her eyes. Ilweran smiled, "What have you found neth min?"
"Glorfindel of the House of the Golden Flower, is related to ada."
"Is he now, explain it to me neth min."
"Well, he is of the House of Finarfin, and Finarfin was the brother of
Fingolfin. So that makes them distant cousins doesn't. That is if it is the
same Glorfindel, is he the same Glorfindel?
Elewen looked over at Ilweran who was smiling, "He is! And you already
knew all that" Elewen said pouting. Ilweran smiled again and just nodded.
Elewen finally asked "Ilweran, why have you got me reading up on Gil-galad?
"Well Elewen, you wanted to know about your father, didn't you?'
"Yes Ilweran, but Gil-galad was a king."
"Elewen, Ereinion Gil-galad is your father!"
Elewen was stunned. Ereinion Gil-galas was her father. She looked at
Ilweran expecting to see a grin on her face. But Ilweran was not smiling;
in fact she looked sad.
"How can this be Ilweran, Gil-galad died before I was born, the dates are here in this book."
"Your mother was pregnant with you before he died, though she did not know it."
Elewen looked at Ilweran questioningly "How do you know this? Did you know my mother?"
"You could say that" replied Ilweran evasively.
