Inkling Challenge: Middle Earth Wrestling

by Samwisegirl

Middle Earth wrestling: Ugluk vs. Grishnakh


Gandalf: “Well, folks, here we are AGAIN for another round of middle earth wrestling.” begs to the audience “Can we go home yet? Saruman here is starting to stink!” pokes Saruman with his staff

Saruman: “Ouch! Quit it! You stink more than I do, with all that weed you smoke! Anyway, tonight’s contestants should be very interesting.”

Gandalf: “Yes! I’ve been waiting to see this match for a loooong time. There has always been bad blood between the orcs and the uruk-hai. Let’s see who comes out the winner tonight, shall we? Oh, Samwisegirl, where are you?”

SWG steps into the wrestling ring and smiles at her cheering section: Gimli and the entire dwarf section of the audience who holds up signs saying, “We love Samwisegirl!”

SWG: ‘In this corner we have Ugluk, current leader of the uruk-hai after Lurtz was beheaded by Aragorn.” Ugluk grabs SWG’s hand and kisses it. She giggles and pulls away shyly. Gimli scowls from the audience "And in the other corner we have Grishnakh, who is just a slimy orc with no prospects!” Grishnakh scowls at SWG “Now boys, fair fight and ……..oh, forget it. Kill each other for all I care!”

The bell rings, and SWG wisely exits the ring quickly. The Uruk and the orc circle each other, both snarling. Grishnah gets distracted by the hobbits in the audience.

Grishnakh: “Oooh, I’m hungry. Can we take a break? Those hobbits look tasty!” He licks his lips

Gandalf: “Ewwwww. Grishnakh! That’s disgusting. And no, there are no breaks! You haven’t even begun fighting yet you lazy orc!”

Saruman: “I’ll have to agree with Gandalf for once. Stupid Orc! Look at my Uruk, so strong and mighty, he’s ready to fight!” Saruman looks at Ugluk with fatherly pride. Gandalf just looks disgusted

Grishnakh: “What about their legs? They don’t need those!” He begins to climb out of the ring towards the hobbits, who scatter away, screaming at the top of their lungs. Merry and Pippin run behind Treebeard, who shakes his great fist at Grishnakh

SWG: “Hey Grishnakh! Get back here! You’ll be counted out!”

Ugluk: “They are not for eating! “ He leaves the ring as well, and chases after Grishnakh.

SWG throws up her hands in exasperation and goes to chat with Gimli for a while

Gandalf: “Well, this is quite interesting! What will happen next Saruman? Saruman? Drat, where did he go?”

Saruman is chasing Grishnakh as well, long robes flowing out behind him. He is yelling something about Uruk superiority, and shaking his staff in the air. As he passes by SWG, she sticks out her foot and trips him

Saruman: “OOOMMMPH!”

SWG: “Serves you right!” Gimli blows a raspberry at Saruman

Ugluk catches up to Grishnakh, and shoves him over to Treebeard, who stomps him flat. Treebeard and Ugluk nod at each other, then Ugluk jumps back into the ring and proclaims himself the winner

SWG: “Wait a sec, isn’t Treebeard really the winner? I give up! Ugluk , Treebeard you are both winners!”

Saruman: weakly, from the floor Great fight! Who’s next?”

Gandalf: “ah, shut up, you ninnyhammer!” Gandalf throws his staff at Saruman, hitting him on the head

SWG: yelling to be heard over the two shouting wizards “Well, G’night folks. See you at the next match!” SWG and Gimli walk off to discuss the next match