Inkling Challenge: Middle Earth Wrestling

by Samwisegirl

Middle Earth Wrestling: Theoden vs. Denethor

Gandalf: “Well folks, here we are again! There hasn’t been a match in days! I can’t wait for his fight, it
should be good!”

Saruman: wakes up, startled “What? Did I miss anything?”

Gandalf: “Not yet. Today’s match is between two royal personages. Two men of the world. Today’s match will
be between Theoden, king of Rohan, and Denethor, Steward of Gondor!”

Saruman: twirls finger in air “Whoop-de-doo!”  deadpan “I’m thrilled. Get on with the match!”

SWG skips into the arena, and announces the contestants

SWG: “In this corner, aided by his assistant, Grima Wormtongue, is Theoden, king of Rohan!”

Theoden is slumped in the corner, looking very wizened and frail. Grima is whispering in his ear and
massaging his shoulders


SWG: “And in the other corner we have Denethor, steward of Gondor!”

Denethor cackles with glee, and begins dribbling the palantir he brought with him like a basketball

SWG: “OK, boys, fair fighting. No name calling, hair pulling, ummm....well you get the drift. Go!”
tosses Gimli at the bell.........DING!.............and the match begins

Grima supports Theoden as he totters to the center of the ring. Denethor laughs maniacally and circles
around Theoden, dribbling his palantir.


Gandalf: squints “Uhhh......Theoden doesn’t look well. What’s wrong with him?”

Saruman: “Who cares?” yells to Denethor “ Use the palantir, my good man!”

Denethor throws the palantir at Theoden, and it hits him square in the chest. He falls down hard onto the mat.

Eomer and Eowyn: from the audience, in unison “HEY! THAT”S NOT FAIR!”

Grima: “Ahhhh......shut up you two!” helps Theoden to his feet

Denethor is still cackling like a loon. Boromir (with the arrows still sticking out of him) and Faramir look
on from the audience, totally embarrassed


Saruman creeps up and builds a little pyre in Denethor’s corner of the ring, and sets it on fire

Denethor spots the fire, drops the palantir, and jumps on the pyre, giggling madly

SWG: “Well, I have never seen a match like this. It looks like Theoden wins, since Denethor decided to
commit suicide. Ewwww!”

Saruman: picks up the palantir and sneaks back to his seat “Yes, great match!”

Gandalf: glaring at Saruman “Something still isn’t right. I know!” steps into the ring and approaches
Theoden and waves his staff around


Grima: whining to Hama in the audience “I told you to take the wizard’s staff!”

Hama shrugs and munches on some popcorn

Gandalf heals Theoden in a flash of light, and he becomes the hale and strong king of Rohan once again.
He grabs Gandalf’s staff and knocks him and Grima unconscious


SWG: holding Theoden’s arm aloft “Our winner!”

The crowd goes wild.

SWG: “Stay tuned for the final match in Middle Earth Wrestling! Our free for all battle royale! Starring
the following players: Faramir, Gimli, Bilbo (with assistance from Frodo),
Isildur, Aragorn, Eowyn, Eomer, Ugluk, Bob the Balrog, Sam and Pippin, Shelob (the Oliphaunt qualified from a
previous match, but Shelob killed him!). Now Peregrine and myself should be participating as well, but I have
made an executive decision to disqualify us from the match.” sheepish grin “We might get killed! Anyway,
stay tuned wrestling fans! This is SWG, signing off.”