Inkling Challenge: Middle Earth Wrestling

by Kaybaggins

Middle Eartb Wrestling Match - Frodo/Merry vs. Sam/Pippin (tag team)

Kaybaggins: And here we are again folks once again at
beautiful Fangorn Forest for our next WWF match up.
Our honorary judges are once again Gandalf the once
gray and now White and Saruman the once white and now
of many colors. And I am the referee for the tag team
match-up. Our next match up will be a tag team between
Frodo Baggins and Meriadoc Brandybuck, in one corner
and in the other corner, Samwise Gamgee and Peregrin
Took. Now, this match is a no holds bar match. The
crowd of hobbits cheers wildly as does the men and
elves. The crowds of orcs, goblins and other assorted
nasties boo and hiss.

Bell rings.

Gandalf: Frodo comes out on to the mat against Pippin.
They both circle one another trying to gain the
advantage. Pippin is of course taller so he does have
that advantage but Frodo is a bit quicker. Frodo drops
down on his knees and grabs Pippin’s feet and flips
him over on his back into a figure four crab.
Kaybaggins counts 1, 2. Pippin turns over and stops
the count by touching the ropes. Pippin tags up to Sam
and now it is Sam and Frodo. Sam and Frodo are on
opposite sides of the ring. Sam pushes himself off of
the ropes and leaps at Frodo and they wrestle to the
mat. Sam is on top of Frodo and pins Frodo’s shoulders
down in a near pin. Kaybaggins begins the count. 1, 2.
Frodo twists and kicks Sam off of him and then puts
Sam into a sleeper hold. Kaybaggins begins another
count. 1, 2. Pippin jumps in the ring and bangs into
Frodo with a metal chair. Frodo begins to reel. Pippin
falls on top of Frodo and Kaybaggins starts to count
again 1, 2. Merry jumps in the ring and pushes Pippin
off of Frodo and then proceeds to push Pippin off the
wrestling mat.

Saruman: It seems that the two younger hobbits, who
are the more meddlesome of the bunch, are pulling each
other’s hair.

Pippin: Merry, all this wrestling has given me a bit
of an appetite and thirst. Why don’t you say we sneak
out of here and let Sam and Frodo do the rest of the
wrestling and we can grab some mushroom soup and a
pint of ale and let them hammer it out.

Merry: Pip, as usual, let no one say you are a fool of
a Took. An excellent idea if I say so myself. I saw
some ale out back although it did look strangely
familiar. Almost like the ent draught we dipped into.
Let’s go check it out.

Pippin: Ent draught? Treebeard is hanging around. I
suppose another wee sip wouldn’t hurt us.

Merry: How could it possibly?

Meanwhile:

Gandalf: Sam and Frodo are once again across one
another on the wrestling mat.

Sam: I’m sorry Mr. Frodo sir but this is wrestling and
seeing as I’ve already been trampled by an oliphaunt
today and as my gaffer used to say, get it over with
quick and it won’t hurt as much.

Gandalf: Oh my, Sam has lunged at Frodo, picked him up
in the air and drops him back down. He cocks his
eyebrow, throws off his elbow pad to the hobbit crowd
and does a hobbit’s elbow and finishes Frodo off.
Kaybaggins counts off 1, 2, 3 and the match is over.
Kaybaggins lifts Sam’s arm up and declares him the
winner and the hobbits’ champion.

Gandalf: Well that takes care of Sam and Frodo but
this match is not over. Where did Merry and Pippin go?

Saruman: Most probably stealing more of my tobacco if
I know two pesky hobbits. Whatever you saw in those
creatures I will never know.

Gandalf: You are better off going back to sleeping in
your buttered popcorn Saruman and letting the hobbits
take care of themselves.

With that Saruman just went back to his popcorn and
muttering.

The building began to shake as Treebeard began walking
back into the wrestling arena. Hrmm-Hroom. He was
holding two very guilty looking hobbits by the scruffs
of their necks.

Treebeard: It seems that these two hobbits had decided
that they needed to grow a bit more. I think that they
have grown a bit too much for their pants (as he drops
them back onto the mat).

Gandalf: This match is not over until there is a
winner between the two of you. Sam has won his part of
the tag team match.

Merry: Well then Pip, let’s get it over with.

Gandalf: Merry and Pippin have once again started to
circle around one another. Oh no. Merry has picked up
two garbage can lids and slammed them into Pippin’s
head. Pippin is reeling. Merry is bowing and looking
very much like he has won the match. Kaybaggins is
counting 1, 2, no, Pippin is struggling to get back up
and he has grabbed Merry by the ankle and has pinned
him. Kaybaggins counts 1, 2, 3 and the match is over.

Pippin: I’m no fool of a Took.

Gandalf: There you have it. The tag team match has been won by Sam and Pippin.