Inkling Challenge: Middle Earth Wrestling

by Samwisegirl

Middle Earth wrestling: Cave Troll vs. The Balrog 

Gandalf: ‘Well here we are again folks! We’re getting close to the end now.”


Gandalf: gives Sauruman a pointed look Well, ANYWAY, we have a great match for you today folks. Two awesome and fear inspiring creatures, about to battle to the death!”

Sauruman: perks up his ears “Ooooh, a deathmatch? Allright!”

Gandalf: “Ahem, as I was saying, tonight’s match will be between........The Cave Troll!” the crowd goes wild “Aaaand.......The Balrog!”  the crowd hushes into a fearful silence “We need our referee. Hello, anybody out there?” shuffles papers ‘Ah, yes, it’s Samwisegirl refereeing tonight. Where is that girl?”

SWG is hiding in the audience, under Gimli’s chair. Sauruman spots her, and drags her out before Gimli can swing his axe at the wizard

Saruman: taunting “Why were you hiding, silly girl? Afwaid of the itty-bitty cave twoll? Scared o’the Big Bad Balrog?”

SWG: “Frankly, yes! But since I picked this match to write about, I guess I should get my keister up there, huh?" with a heavy sigh, SWG trudges into the wrestling ring

SWG: "Here comes our first contestant, the Cave Troll!” The Cave Troll lumbers up to the ring, and climbs in. He looks at SWG with real menace in his beady little eyes, and she quakes in fear “Uhhhh.....and our second contestant........The Balrog!” The Balrog comes crashing into the ring, all aglow with his fiery light

Bob the Balrog: “Thanks SWG, it’s lovely to be here, and by the way, my first name is Bob. All my friends call me Bob. Nobody calls me Mr. Balrog, that’s too formal. Would you like to be my friend?”

SWG: “Ummmm......not really. OK, guys, get ready to rumble!” SWG quickly exits the ring, and sits beside Gimli

The Cave Troll circles the Balrog, snarling and swinging his club. He makes a couple of swings, but misses due to the Balrog’s quick ducking. The Balrog looks upset

Bob the balrog: “Gee, friend, why do you want to hurt me? I just want to be friends! I wanted to be friends with Gandalf, but that didn’t work out. He misunderstood my intentions is all.”

Gandalf: splutters “Misunderstood? You jerk! You tried to kill me! Arrrgh!”

Bob the Balrog: ducking another swing from the cave troll “Well, if you interpreted my overtures of friendship that way, that’s your problem!” waves arm and cave troll disappears in a burst of flame

SWG: “Wow! That was quick! The winner is Bob the Balrog! Uh, I’ll refrain from holding your arm up, ok?”

Bob the Balrog: “I understand completely, dear hobbit lady!” He bows low, catching the wrestling ring on fire, and then proceeds to walk out the door

Gandalf: waving his staff around like a lunatic “You cannot pass!”

Bob the Balrog knocks Gandalf under the table on his way out, setting his robes on fire. Sauruman is rolling around laughing, as SWG and the dwarves try to extinguish the fire in the wrestling ring

SWG: “Well, that’s it for this match folks! See ya next time!”