Inkling Challenge: Middle Earth Wrestling

by Elvenstar

Aragorn vs Faramir who will win??????

Gandalf:well we're back from are comercial break, WWF wrestling fans! Quite an interesting match between Gollum and Smeagle or Gollum vs Gollum... whatever. What did you think Saruman? Saruman? SARUMAN!!!

Saruman:Were you talking, Gandalf? looks back at Gandalf from searching in his travle bag

Gandalf: Yes I WAS talking as a matter of fact, Saruman. Really, can't you pay even a LITTLE attention to these matches?

Saruman:Of course I can,...I just choose not to.

Saruman grins as Gandalf sighs and rolls his eyes.

Gandalf:ANYWAY here is are referee, Elvenstar.

Elvenstar walks to the judges table and smiles at Gandalf but glares evily at Saruman who looks apsalutly disgusted with her

Elvenstar:hello Gandalf ignores Saruman who scowles at her back quite some matches we've had here huh?

Gandalf:yes very exciting--right Saruman?

Saruman: snorts yah, right.

Elvenstar: oh shut-up Saruman they were very good, and I'm sure you would think so to if you weren't sleeping through them all!

Elvenstar and Saruman glare at each other

Gandalf: Ok that's enough you two, let's not let the fight begin before it even starts!

Elvenstar: Who's fighting, anyway. We've had just about everybody.

Peregrine: yelling from her seat between Frodo and Legolas Not everyone, Sis!

Elvenstar: ignoring her sister So, who is it?

Gandalf: I'm glad you asked. grabs the mic from Saruman who was making rude noises into it Would you stop that? Anyway, clears throat Ladies and--people! Here, for one night only and stricktly for your own enjoyment--in this corner wieghing in at he-won't-tell us: the TRUE King of Gonder--AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaragorn!

Screams erupt in the stadium as Elvenstar sinks into a chair--that is, for some reason in the ring. Aragorn his dressed in his Rivendale-best with his great sword strapped to his hip. Aragorn leaps up into the ring for a second time and saunters up towards Elvenstar and kisses her hand. Elvenstar giggles weakly as she slips further into the chair. Aragorn winks and it is all Elvenstar can do to not fall right out

Gandalf: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAnd in this corner--the once-was-going-to-be-Steward-of-Gondor-before-Aragorn-showed-up: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFaramir!

More screams erupt and Elvenstar slips even lower into her chair. Faramir is dressed now in his Gondorian armour--though he looks quite uncomfortable in it--and he also has his great sword. He leaps nimbly into the ring and walks right up to Elvenstar and kisses her full on the lips. Elvenstar faints right there, falling limp to the ground. Faramir has some difficulty getting her back into the chair while, out in the crowd, Peregrine laughs. After a few moments, Aragorn and Faramir are able to revive the euphoric Elvenstar--though she nearly faints agian at the sight of them

Saruman: Why don't women do that for me?

Gandalf: I'll give you three guesses.

Elvenstar: O-o-okay boys, nice fair fight now . . .

Peregrine: Shred 'em to peices!

Frodo: Yeah! Go Strider!

Peregrine: I was rooting for Faramir.

Frodo: Oh . . . um . . . me to. laughs weakly

Elvenstar leaps out of the ring as Faramir and Aragorn pull out their swords. But then--they both toss them aside. It seems this is going to be a fight of pure manly strength--that's what we like, isn't it? Aragorn and Faramir circle each other a bit, grinning at each other. Then Faramir runs at Aragorn, but the Gondorian King lifts the young man clear off the floor and tosses him easily across the ring. Faramir sails across, but somehow lands on his feet. Aragorn growls angrily and runs at Faramir and they lock hands, pushing back and forth, trying to push each other over

Saruman: yawning Oh, this is exciting. I'm glad I staid awake for this.

Suddenly Faramir releases Aragorn and leaps backwards, letting Aragorn fall flat on his face. Before he can get up, Faramir body-slams him. He gets up to do it again, but Aragorn is too quick and is back on his feet, kicking Faramir square in the . . . chest.

Faramir: Oomph!

Aragorn kicks him again and agian. Elvenstar winces with every kick but cannot look away. she seems to want to help, but cannot decide who to help so she simply watches in horror as the men continue to beat eachother to a pulp. beside her, Eowyn and ARwen are chatting, ignoring hte match completely. suddenly Faramir leaps up into mid-air and, doing a terrifyingly good zena-yodle, twirls around in mid-air and kicks Aragorn across the ring. ARagorn skids backwards and lands heavily on his butt. But he is on his feet in a flash and does a triple backflip across the ring and grabs Faramir in a dreadful looking headlock. faramir--his face wedged into Aragorn's armpit--makes a face

Faramir: Argh! Aragorn--Jeeze! When's the last time you've bathed?

ARagorn: NOne of your business, boy!

Faramir: Well, I suggest you take one when we're done. Maybe Arwen can . . . do your back.

Aragorn seems to think about this and Faramir takes this chance to grab Aragorn by the shoulders and flip him onto his back. THen he body-slams him one last time--and now Aragorn does not get up. Faramir waits, but hears no count-down. Elvenstar has fainted on the floor

Peregrine: from the crowd Onetwothreefourfive! There, you won!

The crowd explodes and Faramir raises his arms and grins. Aragorn groans and looks towards the women, but Arwen and Eowyn were ignoring him. He sighs and falls asleep on the mat. Suddenly Elvenstar leaps up to the ring and before she can do ought else, she is swept up into Faramir's arms and is kissed agian. She faints and it doesn't seem she'll be 'round for some time, now

Saruman: Well . . . that one was better. but just barely!

Gandalf: Well, there you go folks. Another match. Come back later. That's all I've got to--Peregrine--leave those Hobbits alone!