Inkling Challenge: Take the Fellowship to Work/School

by samwisegirl

The Fellowship at the Lab

It is 5 am. All is quiet in my house. Suddenly, the alarm goes off. BEEP,BEEP,BEEP! The hobbits immediately jump up, hair mussed and eyes puffy. Boromir bangs his head on the table he was sleeping under, and Aragorn looks like he needs some coffee. Gandalf grumbles something about “whose bright idea was it to take us to work again?” And Legolas and Gimli both run off to the bathroom to fix their hair, whether it be on the head or the face.
I gulp my coffee, wolf down a doughnut, and hustle them all out the door by 5:30. Getting them all in the car is a bit of a pickle, and the poor hobbits end up in the trunk for the half hour commute. Boromir kindly punches air holes in the trunk for them, and when I glare at him, he says that it will make the car look really stylish. I sigh, and we are off.
I pull into the parking lot at 6 am. The building is already bustling with activity, and I realize this may not be such a good idea, bringing these poor souls into work with me. If only they knew what they are in for! We encounter our first problem at the front door. “ID, please!” barks the receptionist. I realize that we forgot Aragorn’s ID, and they won’t let him in. “But....but......he’s the rightful king of Gondor!” I plead. “I don’t care if he’s the president of the United States! He can’t come in!” shouts the surly receptionist. I concede grudgingly, and poor Aragorn has to sit in the reception area for the rest of the day. I give him a book to pass the time: “1001 ways to win friends and influence people”
Legolas is the next to be lost. As soon as we enter the office area, a swarm of women engulf him. I shrug, and lead the rest into the inner sanctum, the laboratory. Before we get too far, I stop them with a little lecture. “Now boys, there are some things in here that are quite harmful and dangerous, so no touching or doing ANYTHING unless I tell you, ok?” I direct the last part of that sentence towards Merry and Pip with a frown on my face. “Yes, ma’am” they all mumble, eyes downcast.
We enter my home away from home, and Gandalf gives a little gasp. “You’re an alchemist!” he says with a grin. I smile and nod, and begin introducing our fellas to my coworkers. The girls are immediately taken with Frodo, and won’t let him do a speck of work all day. They fetch him food and drink, and massage his feet. I groan, because now I have to do their work too. Gimli sidles up next to me and whispers in my ear “Lass, I’ll help ya. Whatever you need doing, I’ll do it! Dwarves can do anything!” I look at him with adoration, and immediately put him to work washing the glassware that we use for our experiments. He grumbles a bit, but settles down when I give him a thankful kiss on the cheek.
Gandalf begins sorting through the various chemicals for things to steal, and keeps Sam on the lookout in case anyone comes by. Sam would rather be with Frodo, getting his feet massaged, but Gandalf needs him to store the stolen chemicals in his pack.
Boromir looks around expectantly, hoping I’ll give him a grand assignment. And I do. “Boromir, I need you to do some reconnaissance. Scout the hallways for my boss. He can’t know that I brought you fellas here today. I’ll get fired. If he comes close, distract him with talk of sports. He loves to shoot the breeze with fellow manly-men” I show him a picture of my boss, and he gasps in horror. “A troll!” he breathes. “You know it!” I exclaim. “Now go to it, warrior of Gondor!’ I say, inflating his ego. He bounds down the corridor, looking for the troll-ish boss.
Now I am left with Merry and Pippin. They look at me with shining yes, hoping I’ll give them something fun to do. “You two are gonna help me with our experiments today” I say, and lead them over to my workstation. They initially follow my instructions well, placing the equipment in the proper places, and recording the data properly. I even let them add some of the chemicals together, knowing that the different reactions will amaze them. They do well at first, but when I step away to help Gimli out, the real trouble starts.
Merry leans over to Pip and says “I think if we add this blue thing here to this red thing over here, we may get a purple something! Shall we try it?” Pippin nods in agreement. They add the two together and the concoction immediately begins to bubble over, and eats into the table top. “Uhhhh......Merry? I don’t think its supposed to do that” whispers Pip as he looks around nervously. “I know! We’ll just throw some of this acid on it. That’ll clean it right up” says Merry, as he douses the bubbling mass with some hydrochloric acid.
“Merry? Now the hole in the table is bigger! And there’s a hole in the floor underneath the table!” Pippin looks across the room for me, but I am too involved in flirting with the dwarf to pay attention.
“Let me try something!” exclaims Pip. He starts to add a red powder to a yellow liquid when.....BANG! POOF! Everyone looks up, startled. Pippin and Merry are covered in an orange colored substance, and smoke is rising from my workstation. Boromir comes running into the room yelling “Crebain from Dunland!” I stare at him blankly. “Umm.....your boss is coming!” he yells.
I shout for the fellowship to hurry; we need to leave. Boromir slings orange Merry over his shoulder, while Gimli grabs Pip. I yank Gandalf out of the supply closet, who in turn grabs Sam, and we begin to run. Sam snatches Frodo from my coworkers on the way back out of the laboratory. We take flight through the office part of the building, my troll of a boss giving chase and yelling something about the price of broken equipment being taken out of my pay. We see a blond head in the middle of a group of screaming women, and I weasel my way in to grab Legolas. To distract the women, I shout “Look! Isn’t that Brad Pitt over there?” I then successfully snatch Legolas while they are distracted, and we run for the reception area. Aragorn looks extremely grumpy when we get there, but takes one look at our faces and understands the situation immediately. “Merry and Pip again, huh?” he says as we all pile into my car and race home. “Yeah” I sigh. ‘I’ll be lucky if I have a job tomorrow” I look at my beloved fellowship, and decide it was worth every minute. Linking my one arm with Gimli, and the other with Boromir, I tell the rest to follow me. We all go out for some ice cream.
THE END