In Goldberry We Trus(s)t

by jan-u-wine

In Goldberry We Trus(s)t

T'was wicked hot
this tight spot
one small hobbit
did inhabit.
For, though he choose,
with careful prose
he could not help but blab it:

"I'm tired," says he
"of being dandled on big folks' knees...
not to mention visiting nasty inns at Bree.
And Queenly Elves with mirrors....
well, they COULD just kiss my rear
and, by the WAY....
i've DONE with all those tears!

Councils and wizards are fine for a lark,
but nothing to laugh at in Moria's dark.
Dwarves and Elves, Men who don't use shampoo
Show me, with certainty, what I *must* do....

"throw this trinket far in?" (he says with a grin)
"nay, that would be a *most* egregious# sin...
Keep it I shall, tho you think me quite mad
No more 'the quiet Baggins'....I am....
FRODO THE BAD!!!

there, i think that is possibly the worst thing ANYONE has ever written...jan

....errrr, Sam, could you spell-check me on that, please?

**there wasn't ANYTHING in there about Goldberry, was there? Fooled ya....