A young proto-hobbit wandered through the woods near the Gladden Fields
early on in the Third Age. Now this, in and of itself, was strange
enough, for everyone knows no hobbit worth his weight in seed cakes
would be found scurrying about for no good reason in so deep an unknown
forest, but this was no ordinary hobbit. This hobbit was quite
adventurous (for a hobbit,) and he was trying to find the last of the
autumn’s mushrooms before the cold winter set in for the season.
Now hobbits and mushrooms go back further than their ability to write,
but oral tradition says that no good mushroom should go to waste, so he
was quickly gathering all he could in the fading light.
Naturally, as he gathered he grew quite hungry, so he ate some as he walked, stooped and picked.
Unfortunatley for him, one kind of mushroom that was not deemed edible
slipped in to his hands and gullet, owing to the hobbit’s wish for
speed of gathering and his voracious appetite.
All day up to this point his mushroom-picking venture seemed rather
ordinary, but soon this changed, owing to the combined effects of
eating the bad mushroom and then coming upon five old men talking in a
clearing. It turned out that these five old men were actually wizards,
Maiar from the undying lands fresh from their trip overseas to aid in
the fight over the Dark Lord, tales as are told in other stories.
Now, these five wily wizards
were (or are) known as
Saruman, Mithrandir, Radagast, Alatar and Pallando. They sat and
discussed their journey up to that point, their prospective upcoming
journeys, and the dividing up of the powers given to them communally by
It is at this point that the young hobbit moved within earshot and eyesight of this gathering of the wizards.
“If I am to be the White, I must have all the Powers appropriate to
that position. I need to be able conjure up many spells at will!” said
As he spoke these words, he held his staff aloft and, pointing at a
dead tree nearby, a bright light leapt from the tip and struck the tree
full force. At once the tree caught fire and spouted many colors of
flaming balls of fire up to the heavens, only to self-extinguish after
a few seconds, leaving only smoke and vapor in it’s trail.
Meanwhile, the hobbit was beginning to feel the full effects of the bad
mushroom, and was seeing this psychedelic transformation of the tree in
an extreme spectrum of colors and brightness of lights.
That was enough for the little hobbit. He was heard but not seen
running and screaming off in the distance. The wizards, meanwhile, who
had heard the yell, only found a basket in the place from which the
noise had come from. After searching the area, they picked up the
basket and returned to their clearing with a tasty treat, having not
yet eaten anything from Middle-earth.
After the meal much more was said and agreed upon between these wise
men. After the finished meeting, the wizards went each on their own way
to their respective regions of Middle-earth.
And the poor hobbit? Ah, he was never seen nor heard from again.
There once were five wizards so wily,
Thirteen Dwarves seeking treasure did go,
To the Loneliest Mountain I know.
Twas not five wily wizards,
that would empty the lizard's
Den. No! It was small brave Bilbo!
- Doctor Gamgee
Five wily Wizards
were sent from the West
And all were put to the test
2 were not heard of
Radagast preferred animal's love
And Gandalf turned out as the best.
With advanced computations their styley,
That all would bow in awe
From the moment they saw
The Five Wily Wizards cute smiley.