News from Bree: LOTR the Musical

by Vison

Word has it that Andrew Lloyd Webber has begun casting "LOTR, Superstar".

He has cast himself in the role of Frodo Baggins, and Sir Paul McCartney is to play Gandalf.

David Beckham and his wife Posh Spice will play Tom Bombadil and Goldberry. Webber has excised much of the
rest of the story, saying that "The real LOTR, the real beating heart of the story, takes place in two
nights at Bombadil's house. The rest of it was only window dressing..."

Rumours abound that Prince Edward, Earl of Wessex, will wear Producer's shoes for this one, and that he
has convinced Prince William of Wales to play the Balrog, and Prince Harry of Wales to play Gimli the

Legolas Greenleaf and Boromir son of Denethor will be played by Christopher Walken and Al Pacino
respectively, and Arwen Evenstar by Madonna.

The plum role of Aragorn son of Arathorn has been offered to McCauley Culkin, ready to take on a real
"adult" role at last.

All these wonderful performers, with the possible exception of Sir Paul McCartney, have been preparing
for their roles by spending time with famed vocal coach Clint Eastwood.