Four Wheel Through Mordor

by Queen of Gondor

Sam took the wheel as they approached the doorway to the heart of the fiery Mountain. Frodo was too tired to drive, and Sam didn’t want him to take them off the side of the mountain and then crash, flames would go up and the Eye would turn on them. Sam shuddered at the thought. The eye didn’t even wear mascara. Then he thought to himself: ‘The Lady Arwen could sure teach him a thing or two about looking your best.’ He sighed, the Eye would live ugly, and die ugly.

They finally got to the doorway. Once they went through, Sam drove slower, hoping ever so much to not go flying into the lava down below. He looked down at the seatbelt and unbuckled it, if they went down in the car, he would at least want to swim away from the car. That was it, swim away! Swim away!

Frodo unbuckled his next and, very weakly, opened his door.

“I’ll wait for you in the car, Mr. Frodo!” Sam called.

Frodo looked back at Sam and nodded. When he turned back, he rolled his eyes, just like the tires on the car rolled.

He stood at the edge and looked down into the fire. He looked at the Ring in his hand. It seemed to speak to him now. “Steal the car, steal the car!”

Frodo looked back at Sam, who was exploring all of the different buttons, trying to find the air conditioning one. It sure was hot inside the fiery Mountain!

Frodo started to walk towards the car, moving at a fast pace. Sam could see an evil in his eyes, an evil that wanted to steal his Four Wheel Drive. ‘Not on my watch!’ Sam thought. He looked for the button that would lock all of the doors, but he could not find it, because he did not look on his own door, where the button was just under the handle.

Frodo opened the door. “Get out of the car, Sam.”

“Pardon me, Mr. Frodo. But this was a gift for both of us from Faramir.

Frodo groaned and extended his arm forward. With a big pull, Sam came flying out, and landed on the ground.

Frodo sat in the drivers seat, then closed the door. He started to back up when he looked to the passenger seat and found Gollum sitting there.

All at once Gollum lunged at Frodo, grabbing for the Ring. “No!” Frodo yelled, desperately.

Gollum took charge of the wheel and started to turn it in all sorts of directions.

Sam watched from outside, he started to cry. “They don’t even have a license, why should I have to live to see such evil deeds as these two people destroy a perfectly good Four Wheel Drive Jeep Cherokee?”

All of a sudden the car started to go forward. Sam sighed. “I can’t not look.” He said as he watched the car plummet down into the fire.

He stood up and ran to the edge, he looked down and saw Frodo hanging on.

“I didn’t wear a seatbelt, Sam, it helped me get out of the car.” Frodo tried to smile.

“You should always wear a seatbelt, Mr. Frodo, though, in this case I will accept it, alright?”

“Yes, Sam.”

Sam looked past Frodo and into the fire. He could see the top of the car bobbing in the lava. He blinked away a tear and turned to Frodo, let me help you up.”