The Tour Guide

by Peregrine

"And here you see, on your left, the Dead City. It is closed to visiters now as they are about to go to war. So we will no proceed up, up, up the stairs and then come to the tunnel." Gollum droned on. Sam glanced at Frodo and rolled his eyes.

"Why are we following him?" the Hobbit asked for about the hundreth time.

"Because he is our guide." Frodo pointed out. Gollum looked over his shoulder and waved them towards the stairs.

"Come. We're climbing, we're climbing."

Sam sighed and turned to follow the little guide up the long stairway. Frodo, though, decided that he still wanted to see the Dead City. It wouldn't hurt just to knock. But Gollum, once he saw was Frodo was doing, would have nothing of it.

"No!" he shrieked, leaping back down. "They'll find you and arrest you and then I'LL get sued!"

Sam sighed.

"We could have had Glorfindal. We could have had Gildor. We could have even had Gwahir. But nooooooooooooooooooo." He glared at Frodo being dragged back towards the stairs. "HE had to pick Gollum."

"We're climbing, we're climbing."

Sam ground his teeth and swore that if they came to a zoo, he was going to find the biggest spider there and let it run free just to bug the guide.