CinderLegolas
by Peregrine
Once there was a handsome young Elf by the name of CinderLegolas. He
lived with his evil step-father Aragorn and his two evil
step-brothers--Merry and Pippin. He was the servent of the
house--CinderLegolas was--and was very badly treated by the three men
of the house.
Now, what poor CinderLegolas wanted more
than anything in the world was to love . . . and to be loved. But, of
course, evil Aragorn would never allow such a thing and Merry and
Pippin merely laughed him away. But one day a note came from the castle
far atop a hill from King Samwise and Queen Rosie. There was to be a
ball for the lovely Princess Peregrine (really, what did you expect?)
where she was to select a husband.
Aragorn was quite pleased with this. Upon recieving the message he turned to his boys.
"You two," he said proudly, "shall be the
most handsome young hobbits at the ball and the Princess Peregrine
shall certainly choose you above all others."
When CinderLegolas heard that there was to
be a ball, he became quite excited for it was for all 'men, Elves,
Hobbits, Dwarves or Wizards of the household'. But when he voiced his
excitment, Aragorn simply laughed.
"You? Go to the ball?" he guffawed while
Merry and Pippin snickered at the poor Elf. "Why, whatever would you
wear? That outfit would not be presentable to the great spiders of
Mirkwood!"
And, indeed, CinderLegolas was dressed quite poorly.
"But I would very much like to go to the
ball," he said quitely. But Aragorn simply brushed him away and refused
to hear anything more on the matter. Instead he had the handsome blond
Elf go off to make him and his boys some new clothes to make them look
as good as possible to impress the lovely Princess Peregrine.
CinderLegolas did as he was told, and as he sat in the basement kitchen he cried softly to himself.
"Oh, why cannot I go to the ball?" he sighed
unhappily. Suddenly there came a great burst of wind and when
CinderLegolas looked up, there was a strange, bearded fellow in a
chainmail dress. It was the Fairy GodGimli!
"Why do you cry, Elf?" the stocky dwarf snapped, brushing at his chainmail with his glittery ax-shaped wand.
"Why, it is because I cannot go to the ball."
CinderLegolas said through his tears. The Fairy GodGimli snorted
through his beard.
"Ah! You can go to the ball. But not like
that. Frodo!" he shouted. From out of nowhere came a Hobbit bearing a
lambas cake and six small mice.
"Yes, Fairy GodGimli?" Frodo pipped.
"Do what you can with that cake and the mice.
And see if you can't find a Gollum and turn him into the footman. We
could use a good Gollum-footman."
"Yes, Fairy GodGimli!" and off ran Frodo.
"Now, about your clothes." GodGimli said,
turning back to CinderLegolas. He tapped his hairy chin with his
glittering crystal battleax and then grinned. "Ah! I have it!"
He waved his wand about a bit and suddenly Legolas was dressed in the finest woodsman's garb. And--behold!--he bore a glass bow!
"Now go to the ball and have a good time. But I warn you! Be back by the stroke of mid-of-night before the spell wears off."
"I understand. Thank you, Fairy GodGimli!"
Legolas grinned and bounded off outside. there waited a lambas-bread
coach and six fine white horses and a rather creepy looking footman who
talked to himself. Nearby stood Frodo.
"You had best hurry up, CinderLegolas!" the hobbit warned. "The Princess shall not wait all night!"
And so CinderLegolas leaped into the beautiful coach and they rumbled off towards the castle.
Princess Peregrine was quite board with the
whole affair and was desperatly wishing she could depart when,
suddenly, a strange young Elf appeared. It was CinderLegolas!--though
no one recognized him--and he bore a glass bow!
Princess Peregrine fell instantly in love
with the Elf and he was instantly taken with her. And the two went into
the garden together and they practiced archery with CinderLegolas's
fine glass bow. But then the hourglass struck mid-of-night and
CinderLegolas fled the castle, his woodsman's garb fading away into
rags. But in his haste he had dropped the fine glass bow and it lay
there where Princess Peregrine found it sometime later.
Weeks passed and the Princess Peregrine,
quite smitten with the unknown Prince, began a Middle-Earth-wide search
for the elusive Elf. She tried every household from Mordor to the Shire
but, alas!, she did not find her Elf Prince. But then she came to a
house she had never seen before. It was the household of Aragorn and
his hobbit sons. They were the last house in the country and she bid
them try the bow. She knew that, whoever it belonged to would be able
to shoot an arrow straight into the heart of any target. But the bow
was far to large for either Merry or Pippin and Aragorn could not hit
the target.
"Are these the only males you have in your house?" Peregrine asked of Aragorn. "Have you any Elves?"
"Only one, CinderLegolas. But he is only the serving-Elf and could not have been to the ball."
"I shall try anyway." Peregrine said and, of
course, they could not refuse her. So she went to the kitchen and bade
CinderLegolas shoot the bow--and he hit the target straight at its
heart.
"You are the Elf Prince from the ball!"
Peregrine cried, and her heart was glad. Not soon after the two were
wed and they lived happily ever after in Mirkwood.
