Lord of the Beans

by Lalaith
Quotes from Lord of the Beans:

"One Bean to rule them all
One Bean to grind them
One Bean to brew them all
And in the dark roast bind them"

"It began with the roasting of the great beans. For within these beans was bound the strength and will to govern each race. But they were all of them decieved, for another bean was raised in the land of Downpour, in the Fires of Mount Gloom, the Dark Lord Staurbuck roasted in secret, a master bean, to control all others. From this bean, he poured his crankiness, his insomnia, and his will to dominate all life, One bean to rule them all...
One by one the free lands of middle earth fell to the power of the one
bean, but there were some who resisted..."

In the Shire
Gandalf: "There are many magic beans in this world Bilbo Baggins, and none of them should be roasted lightly!"

At the Prancing Pony:
Frodo: "What are they?"
Aragorn: "They were once men...Great Kings of Men...and now they are slaves to its will...neither living nor dead. At all times they feel the presence of the caffeine, drawn to the power of the one bean."

At the Prancy Pony:
Pippin: "Wha's that?"
Merry: "This, my friend, is a Vente."
Pippin: "It comes in Vente?? I'm getting one!"

Inside Moria:

Gandalf: "You cannot sell! I am the servant of the secret fire, weilder of the Foam of Mocha, the dark roast will not avail you, can of Yuban! Go back to the shelves! You shall not sell!

In Lothlorien:

Legolas: "Mmmm...java...One small shot's enough to put hair on the chest of a full grown man."
Merry: "How many shots did you have?"
Pippin: "Four" *sprout*