When Worlds Collide

by Laiquendi

The day had just begun as the various guests took to their seats. The Men sat first, eager to begin, while the Dwarves grumbled about the chairs being too high off the ground. Frodo, Bilbo and Gandalf quickly grabbed the end seats for a quick exit, leaving the Elves in the middle still feeling hung-over from the previous night’s party. A short while later Elrond appeared from some hidden vestibule still arranging his erratic hair, before quickly calling order to the proceedings.

“Strangers from distant lands, friends of old… and Dwarves. You have been summoned here to answer the threat of Mordor. Middle-Earth stands upon the brink of destruction. None can escape it. You will unite or you will fall. Each race is bound to this fate - this one doom. Bring forth the Ring, Frodo.”

With a look from Gandalf, Frodo slipped off his chair and placed the Ring on top of the pedestal in the middle of the council. Taking one last glance at it, he then turned around and scurried back to his chair. All the assembled parties stared at the item in shock as one of the men leaned forward to speak.

“In a dream, I saw the eastern sky grow dark…”

“Howdy folks!” A loud cry suddenly interrupted the man’s speech. Everyone immediately shuffled and turned towards the new voice, whispering in low voices as four people walked into the room.

“Why, hello there people… and strange hairy midgets,” Said the lead man, dressed in dark green clothes with black glasses around his eyes. He seemed to be hugging some sort of black device that was hanging from a band on his shoulder, before reaching up and removing the glasses. Another man quickly followed him, similarly dressed but instead wearing clear glasses with a large brimmed hat and a pack on his back. Behind him came a woman, then a taller, thickset man with an unusual gold mark on his forehead and carrying a tall staff.

“I think they are Dwarves.” The man with the hat whispered.


“Yep, they have that, well… “Dwarvish” look.”

“Is it ‘Dwarfish’, or ‘Dwarvish’, cause I always get those two confused. Is it a war-fish? A fish that looks like a drawer? Some sort of hot, Indian curry?” He said as he turned towards his companion.

“Technically, I believe it is ‘Dwarvish’.”

“Gotcha. Hello men, Dwarves, and Vulcans!” He said again, addressing the gathering.

“Vulcans, sir?” Asked the woman.

“Check out their ears, Carter, you’re not going to tell me they all had accidents with rice-pickers?”

“No, sir, probably not. But I don’t think they are Vulcans.”

“And why not?”

“Because Vulcans are fictional characters, sir.”

“How do you know that this isn’t the planet Vulcan?”

“I don’t think it works like that, sir.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Ahh… Well Daniel, go make peace with the natives.” He said, waving his hand at the man in the hat.

Daniel stepped forward before the council, removed his hat and stared at all the expecting faces. He gave a little cough, and then turned towards Elrond with a smile on his face.

“Greetings, my name is Dr. Jackson and this is Colonel O’Neill, Major Carter, and Teal’c. We’re explorers from a planet called Earth.” At this he touched his chest, made a large circular motion around his companions, then pointed to the sky. “We came through the Stargate to your world.” He started to draw a big circle in the air with his finger. “Stargate, mmm… the chappa’aia? Circle of the Ancients?”

At the blank stares and looks of shock on some of the faces, he turned back towards the leader and shrugged. “I’m not even sure they speak English…”

“Have you tried it in Vulcan?”

“No.” Daniel said with an annoyed look.

“I thought all you geeks knew how to speak Vulcan.”

“Do you want to try this?” Daniel said with frustration as he offered up the position in the centre of the council, at which point O’Neill stepped forward.

“Hello,” He shouted out slowly with long pauses on the syllables. “We came from the Star-gate. You know, this big circular device, spins round, with lots of writing on the outside? Probably accompanied by lots of guys with big egos, bad taste in clothes and glowing eyes?”

“You mean the Ring of Power?” Elrond said suddenly as all eyes in the room quickly turning to him.

“Ring of Power?” O’Neill asked Daniel.

“Sounds about right.”

“You sure?”

“No, but it sounds about right.”

“You’re just filling me with confidence here,” He quickly responded before turning to face Elrond.

A sharp whine suddenly filled the air and all the gathered guests became highly agitated, looking at each other in increasing states of disbelief.

“Sauron is upon us!” One of the Dwarves shouted out, leaping to the floor and grabbing his axe.

“Ringwraiths! Ringwraiths!” An Elf squealed, then proceed to curl up in a ball under his chair.

“Celeron?” O’Neill asked.

“I believe it was more like ‘sale-on’,” Daniel replied.

“Sale on? They’re having a sale? A sale on what?”

“Sir, I’m picking up increased energy emissions.” Carter interrupted, studying a small box in her hands. “It resembles an Asgard matter transportation device, but on a highly localised scale.”

As she spoke four columns of light began to coalesce on the other side of the council. They seemed to shimmer and sparkle in blue before slowly fading, leaving four figures in their place. A large man with a strange forehead standing near the back of the new group immediately pulled out some sort of silver wand upon seeing the gathered crowd. The leader of this group, a tall bearded man in a red shirt quickly gestured for his subordinate to holster the wand before turning to face a pale-skinned man in yellow beside him.

“Who are they, Mr. Data?” He asked softly as the pale man removed a small box from his hip and flipped it open.
At the sight of the gun, O’Neill quickly pulled up his own black device and pointed it at the new arrivals as Carter repeated his action. Teal’c raised his staff instead as small yellow lightning ripple across its end.

“I’m sensing some hostility, Will.” A small woman in a blue shirt said, placing her hand gently on the red-shirted man’s arm.

Daniel immediately stepped forward between the two groups and raised his arms as if to separate them.
“Svetlana? Dr. Svetlana Markov?” Carter asked, noticing the woman in blue.

“Who is she talking to?” The woman asked of her companions.

“I could have sworn you were Dr. Markov. You look almost exactly like her, enough to pass for her twin!” Carter replied in astonishment as Daniel moved closer.

“We don’t mean any harm.” He said softly, walking slowly towards the red-shirted man. “We’re just visitors to this world.”

“He appears to be human, sir.” Data said, “As do some of the other inhabitants. But several of them are of a species I cannot identify.”

“Vulcans?” O’Neill suggested.

“Shar’vreth tal shak soo kir’looka” Data said to the crowd to test the theory.

“Servant of the Dark Lord!” One of the Dwarves suddenly cried out and swung his axe at Data. The blade sliced into his left arm, leaving a large cut in its wake. However, Data did not seem to notice and the wound did not bleed but instead sparked violently.

“Data!” Cried out the woman in blue, rushing forward to his aid. The foreheaded man pulled out his silver wand again and aimed it at the angry Dwarf. “Halt!” He said in a deep voice, causing the Dwarf to drop his axe and scowl at the man.

“You’re an artificial lifeform!” Carter suddenly burst out, studying her own metallic box.

“Replicator?” O’Neill asked quietly.

“An android, sir. And a very sophisticated one at that.”

“Hah,” O’Neill said, “Been there, done that.”

“There is no need for alarm, Counselor, the damage was only minor. My self-repair systems have already begun to correct the error.” Data said calmly to the woman in blue, only casually acknowledging the gapping hole in his arm.

“Yep, he’s an android.” O’Neill retorted.

“Interesting…” Daniel said as he walked closer to Data, examining the wound and his pale skin.

“Commander, the unusual energy signature is emanating from the item of jewellery on the pedestal. It appears to be producing high levels of veteron radiation normally found only in transverse subspace layers.” The android said to the man in red, waving his metallic box towards the One Ring.

“Carter?” O’Neill asked.

“It’s very bad, sir.”

“Right. Why can’t people just say that to start with?”

“Allow me to introduce myself, I’m Commander William Riker of the Starship Enterprise. This is Commander Data, Lieutenant Worf, and Deanna Troi, Ship’s Counselor.” Riker said gesturing towards each member of his team in turn. “We were passing through this system when we discovered an immensely powerful energy signature coming from somewhere in this area. Since this appears to be a pre-warp civilisation that could not have created such devices, we felt it our duty to investigate.”

“Ahah, just passing through?” O’Neill asked.

“I sense he does not believe us, Will.” Deanna said softly.

“I can’t sense the presence of a Goa’uld, sir.” Carter piped up.

“I recommend caution, Commander.” Worf added never keeping his eye off the Dwarf that had attacked Data.
“Colonel Jack O’Neill, SG-1.” O’Neill said, “Carter, Daniel, Teal’c.” Waving his weapon at each of his team in turn.
“We need to destroy the jewellery, Commander.” Data said.

“And I was just thinking it’d go so well with those shoes.” O’Neill said, one hand placed on the trigger of his device.

“The Ring cannot be destroyed by any craft we here possess.” Elrond suddenly spoke, roused from the spectacle unravelling before him.

“Have you tried Zatting it?” O’Neill asked.

“’Zatting’? Riker looked on sceptically.

“Teal’c, give it your best shot.” O’Neill said as Teal’c removed a small weapon from a holster on his leg. There was a small click as the device extended, then sprayed blue light across the air towards the Ring. The pedestal fizzed slightly but otherwise remained unaffected.

“Worf, level 12, full disintegration.” Riker said, pulling a silver wand from his holster and aiming it at the pedestal. In tandem, two bolts of orange light emerged from their wands and struck the Ring causing it to glow slightly, yet neither force could scratch its surface.

“Sir, the energy emissions are increasing. We seem to be fueling the radiation.” Warned Carter suddenly.

“I concur, Commander. We should refrain from any more high energy discharges.” Data added.

“So how do you destroy this Ring then?” Daniel asked, turning to Elrond.

“It must be taken deep into Mordor and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came!” He decreed ominously as all eyes turned towards him, with murmurs amongst the Men in the back row.

“I sense great danger, Will.” Deanna said.

“You don’t say…” O’Neill muttered.

“What happens if someone puts it on?” Daniel inquired.

“It is said that you fall into the twilight-world, vanishing to all those around you.” Elrond replied.

“Ohhhhh, been there, done that.” Daniel said wistfully.

“Carter, get the magnets.” O’Neill ordered

“Sir?” She questioned.

“Magnets. We’ll move it with magnets”

“But sir, that won’t…”


“I don’t think that’ll work in this case, sir.”

“I think we should take the Ring. Mr. Data, lock on to the Ring with the transporter. We’ll beam it straight into this Mount Doom.” Riker ordered.

“Not if I’ve got anything to say about it. Teal’c, show him your eyebrow!” O’Neill shouted as Teal’c pushed his way into the middle of the council and raised his eyebrow at Worf.

“I’ll put 20 quatloos on the Jaffa.” One of the Elves said to his compatriot.

“50 on the Klingon!” Another one said.

“I believe this has gone far enough.” Boomed a voice from amongst the crowd. Everyone shifted round and Gandalf rose from his seat to face the assorted strangers. “There shall be no fight, for I am an ascended Ancient!” A gasp of surprise rippled through the council, followed by whisperings of “Well he is quite ancient, really.”

“Do not trust his lies, good fellows,” said Aragorn, “for I am Q!” With a click of his fingers a brilliant flash engulfed Aragorn and in his place stood another man wearing the same uniform as Riker. Sharp cries escaped from the rest of the astounded council as the two super-beings displayed their powers.

“What’s a Q?” O’Neill asked Daniel.

“Mmmm, I thought it came after P.”


“It appears to be some sort of non-corporeal lifeform, sir, the power readings are off the scale!”

“Will, I am sensing a great deal of calm and balance from the Ancient but it may not be a good idea to anger it.” Deanna cautioned softly.

“Commander, energy readings have reached critical levels. The Ring seems to be pushing itself outside of normal space/time.” Data said quickly, glancing repeated at his small box.

“I will take it. I will take the Ring!” Came a small voice from amongst the Elves, Dwarves, Men, Jaffa, Klingon, Betazoid, Ancient and Q. As Frodo stepped down from his chair besides the sleeping Bilbo and walked towards the pedestal.

“Told you they were hairy midgets.” O’Neill commented to Daniel, receiving an annoyed look in replied.

“Well my work here is done. And we didn’t even get to the part where I replace all their weapons with chocolate bars.” Q said sulkily, then vanished in a click of his fingers.

“The needs of the few outweigh the needs of the many.” Gandalf hummed cryptically as he began to transform into a glowing ball of light.

“The energy readings are decreasing, Commander. The Ring appears to be imprinting a telepathic link on its host to sustain its state between subspace interfold layers.” Data said, running his box up and down Frodo. “The situation seems to have resolved itself without our help.”

“I sense great joy and gratitude, Will, joy and gratitude.” Deanna said with a tear in her eye.
“Hmmph.” Grunted Worf with his phaser still pointed at Teal’c.

“Now now boys, we don’t won’t to hurt Teal’c’s feelings.” O’Neill said, placing one hand on Teal’c’s shoulder.
“Commander, I think we should respect the Prime Directive and wipe their memories.” Worf replied.

“I think enough damage has been done here already, Lieutenant, best to leave this for the experts.”

With a look from Riker, Worf gave a grunt and joined his group as they assembled into a diamond shape. He then tapped the triangular badge on his chest and spoke out loud, “Riker to Enterprise, four to beam up.” With slightly less interested glances, the four companions dissolved in the blue shimmering lights and vanished from the council.

“Sweet!” O’Neill said, rubbing his hands together. “Aside from conventions, do you think there’s anything these people can offer us, Carter?

“I’m not sure, sir, I can’t detect any naquadah in the vicinity or signs of advanced technology.” She said, waving her small box around in a circle.

“You sure it’s not broken?”

“It’s working fine, sir.”

You know, it has broken before…”

“It’s working fine, sir.”

“At least the possibility…”

“It’s working fine, sir. There just isn’t anything here.” Carter said with frustration.

“Daniel? Any ideas?” O’Neill asked out loud.

“We need to stay and study there culture, their lives and experiences! Find out what makes them... them.” He said emphatically pointing at the crowd of different people.

“Any sensible ideas, Daniel?”

“Well, no. They seem to have solved their problem without our help. Strange feeling isn’t it?”

“Very. Although that Ring looked cool, maybe I’ll bring one back for General Hammond.” O’Neill said picking up his gear and walking back the way he came as the rest of the group followed. “I still think they were Vulcans.” O’Neill said as his voice faded into the distance.

Elrond looked at the remaining guests and Frodo, who clutched the Ring in his hand just as Boromir jumped up and pointed at Elrond.

“I told you I should have used my lightsabre!”