Monty Python and the Lord of the Urns

by Prince Imrahil


Aragorn....Eric Idle
Arwen....Terry Jones
Bilbo....Terry Jones
Bill The Pony....A Llama
Elrond....Eric Idle
Galadriel....Michael Palin
Gandalf....John Cleese
Gimli....Terry Gilliam
Goldberry....Terry Jones
Gollum....John Cleese
Legolas....Eric Idle
Littlest Frodo....Michael Palin
Lurtz....John Cleese
Merry....Terry Gilliam
Mnsr. Saruman....Michael Palin
Pippin....Eric Idle
Sam....Terry Jones
Tom Bombadil....Terry Gilliam


The Lidless Urn of Sauron....Graham Chapman


Littlest Frodo ("maybe tomorrow, I'll finally settle down...") is appointed the Urn Bearer by a council of 5 actors playing 17 parts, and must scatter The Ashes of Power into the Crack of Doom deep in the heart of suburban London and/or rural Bedfordshire. To help him along the way, he is aided by a Fellowship of 8 others, not all of whom can be seen on screen at once.

Will he escape the evil machinations of twisted French wizard Monsieur Saruman? Will he avoid death at the hands (and gangly legs) of silly-walking Uruk-hai Lurtz? Will he wonder why I added Tom Bombadil back in? Will the Hobbits make Tea out of Graham Chapman's remains? And can Littlest Frodo, by whatever means, avoid being crushed by a giant cartoon foot? All will be revealed!

And now for something... completely different.

A song from the show!

Elves of Rivendell
(sung to the tune of Knights of the Round Table)

We're Elves of the Homely House
We're altogether famous, 'cos
Our leader's been,
An ex-drag queen,
Elrond is a big girls blouse!

{dee-dee dee-dee dee-dee-dee, dee-dee dee-dee-dah!}

We dress well here in Rivendell,
Our sequined panties sure are swell.

{dee-dee dee-dee dee-dee-dee, dee-dee dee-dee-dah!}

We're the Elves of the East,
Pretty (and not the least)
When Orlando Bloom
Causes girls to swoon
They don't need a doctor, more a priest!

{dee-dee dee-dee dee-dee-dee, dee-dee dee-dee-dah!}

When he came to Rivendell,
The ladies dropped dead, we could tell.

{dee-dee dee-dee dee-dee-dee, dee-dee dee-dee-dah!}

The Elves of Lord Elrond,
Are heading across the pond,
When the time comes,
We'll turn and run,
Across the sea we'll all abscond!

{dee-dee dee-dee dee-dee-dee, dee-dee dee-dee-dah!}

We're all leaving Rivendell, now
Sauron's been sent back to hel.....

{dee-dee dee-dee dee-dee-dee, dee-dee dee-dee-dah!}

Apologies to Graham Chapman and John Cleese...