The Return of Éowyn’s Stew

by Dinledhwen

THE SCENE: A table in the Golden Hall at Edoras has been set for a private dinner prepared especially by Éowyn to show her appreciation for their heroic deeds. Seated there are King Théoden, Éomer, Gandalf, Merry, Pippin, Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli.

ÉOWYN: enters the hall carrying a large black kettle and a ladle which she uses to slop the stew into their bowls Knowing how much Aragorn liked my stew, I made enough for everyone this time.

THE STEW: gives off the aroma of something past its prime while large white and slimy pieces of who knows what float in the thin cloudy brown juice

KING THÉODEN: picks up his spoon and raises a questioning eyebrow while looking at Aragorn Well if Lord Aragorn says it is good than it must be.

ARAGORN: cringes slightly

THE SCENE: reluctantly the others pick up their spoons and begin to eat while telling her how good it tastes despite the overwhelming urge to spitting it out except for Pippin who eagerly gulps his down

PIPPIN: holds up his bowl Can I have some more please and the recipe? This stew is fantastic!

THE SCENE: everyone except Éowyn looks at the hobbit as if he has lost his mind

ÉOWYN: obviously happy for she thinks they all like it Of course there is plenty! she refills his bowl and the others as well for they don’t have the heart to refuse

THE SCENE: when the kettle is finally empty Éowyn leaves them to go copy the recipe for the hobbit

PIPPIN: pats his full stomach in satisfaction That was the best stew that I’ve ever ate!

THE SCENE: everyone else just groans as indigestion sets in

LEGOLAS: suddenly looks very pale and begins to hiccup before quickly standing up and running from the hall with his hand over his mouth

THE SCENE: he is soon followed by everyone else except Pippin who looks confused

PIPPIN: says out loud to himself  I wonder what that was all about?