The Mallorn Grove
For the Forests of Middle-earth Theme Day
One fall day a faint tremor began to run through the ground where a mallorn grove stood.
“What is that?” a very young mallorn asked.
“I don’t know,” replied another mallorn who was the same age.
“Maybe it’s an earthquake,” a teenage mallorn suggested.
“No it’s worse than that! It’s a fan girl chase!” the oldest mallorn groaned.
Suddenly Legolas ran swiftly through the grove and a few minutes later
thousands of drooling and screaming fan girls followed in his wake
their pounding feet shaking down all the golden leaves from the
“Nice pair of boxwoods!” the teenage mallorn teased the older tree.
“Never mind you young whippersnapper!” the older mallorn barked back.
“I want my leaves back on!” a very young mallorn’s wailed.
“Me too!” chimed in the other. Then it dipped one thin branch down
and picked several up which it quickly tried to shake off. “Yuck!
They’re all sticky with slimy drool!”
Suddenly Legolas ran back through the grove. Now none of the drool
covered leaves stuck to him since he had developed a natural repellent
in his skin to the slimy sticky stuff. However the fan girls had no
such defense and soon the leaves were sticking to the bottom of their
feet where layer upon layer grew until the girls appeared to be
teetering along on mallorn leaf platform shoes.
It also meant that the fan girls were now picking up all the fallen
leaves so once they had left the grove there wasn’t a leaf left on the
“Looks like its going to be a long bare winter for all of us,” the older mallorn said with a sigh.
“Hey you two look like wimpy twiggy willows!” the teenage mallorn now teased the two very young trees.
“And you look like a scraggly crabapple!” the two younger trees angrily shot back.
Now this led to a loud verbal free for all amongst the siblings
which had the older mallorn sighing again while it covered its “ears”
with its branch like “hands”. “I hope it’s not too late for me to
accept Treebeard’s invitation to visit Fangorn or this winter will be a
very long one in another way,” it muttered to itself while the younger
mallorns now took delight in pelting the teenaged one with squirrel
droppings. “A very long one indeed…”