New Line Classic Movie Remakes

by Baron Wilderness

With the massive marketing potential of JRR Tolkiens enthralling creations, New Line are to begin a campaign of movie classic remakes. They hope to cash in on the current popularity of The Lord of the Rings by exchanging the main characters from some of Hollywoods' best flicks with characters from Middle Earth.

Slated for release so far are....

Aragorn With The Wind.
Chariots of Shire.
The World is not An-Elf.
Murder Shelob Wrote- The Movie.
Look Who's Orcing.
Meet Joe Black Rider.
Weathertop Gun.
Ar-when Harry Met Sally.
A Mount Doom With A View.
Nazgul Hand Luke.
The Man With The Gollum Gun.
Mallorn-mower Man.
Sauron In Sixty Seconds.
Bree Willy.
Legends of the Fall of Gondor.
Middle Earth Girls Are Easy.

Additions by White Rider....

The Oliphaunt Man
Scent of a Saruman
Rangers on a Train
Orc and Mindy - The Movie
He's Got Gamgee
The Carpetbaggins
Bilbo Brummell
The Postman Always Lord of the Rings Twice
Don't Took Now
Shadowfax of a Doubt
Merry Xmas, Mr Frodo (hey, two in one title, not bad eh?)
Second Breakfast at Tiffanys.

Additions by Belle Layne...

All the Wraith Moves
The Hobbit of My Affection
The Man in the Mithril Mask
When Aragorn Met Arwen
As Gollum As It Gets
Four Wringwraiths and a Funeral
One Flew Over the Nagzul's Nest
I Know What You Did Last September 22
(Frodo's favorite) A Farewell to Fingers
Dr. Zhiv-Aragorn
Sleepless in Isengard
Dr. Sauron or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love
the Ring
Merry & Pippin's the Meaning of Life
Merry & Pippin's Search for the Holy Grail
Frodo Baggins' Day Off
Raisng Aragorn-a
There's Something about Merry
Pretty Wormtongue
Gentlemen Prefer Elves
Oh Illuvator!
Oh Illuvator! book 2
Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sauron But
Were Afraid to Ask
Take the Merry and Run
A Legolas of their Own
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Mount Doom